Grif's Toy: Tease and Denial Book One Paperback – Illustrated, November 7, 2014

Grif’s Toy by Joseph Lance Tonlet, oh boy, this will be one of the strangest, longest and most likely one of the most philosophical book reviews I’ve ever written, be prepared.If you research about what people fear the most, one of the most common things people fear in this world is death. The reasons why can differ immensely depending on who you ask but generally they fear leaving their loved ones, which is a legit fear, I don’t doubt but I don’t have it (I know appalling) I don’t fear death. If I die I won’t be here, I’ll be dead nothing to fear when there’s nothing to feel. I don’t control dying all I know is that one day my day will come and that will be it. Death is a part of life, it happens and we all know it so why try to control something that isn’t in my power to control.What I do fear is living, living a life that isn’t quite what I expected, and knowing that while I walk around living this “bland” life (it really isn’t as bad as I make it sound, but I’m trying to make a point) but I'm not fulfilling my dreams because we are not to fulfill our dreams we are supposed to be good girls and boys and do what is expected. (And no, I didn’t have overly harsh parent, on the contrary, my parents, especially, my mother encouraged me to go out there and experience life. The cliche: If I known what I know now about myself back when I was 20 a lot of things would have been different.) Reading books such as Grif’s Toy, and even learning a thing or two about the author himself, makes those bells of unfulfilled dreams rings mighty high right about now but also make you understand, well at least makes me get it, why people come to the point and say screw the world I'm going to live my life for me no matter what other people think because I need to be happy. That's what Grif's Toy is about, being happy and doing everything you can to live a rich fulfilled life. So, while the rest of us (again not everyone of course) putter around and only do what is expected of us, there are those who go after their dreams and live them.When I started reading Grif’s Toy, I’d read the blurb seen some reviews and I believe I had a fair idea of what I was getting myself into. Well, boy was I wrong, about halfway through, at what I call the piercing part I was ready to chuck my kindle into the wall, even though, up to that point I’d really liked the book even if there were elements in it that I couldn’t grasp and fully understand.First of all, Joseph has created main characters such as Weston Wes De Luca, Tate Diaz, and least of all Marcus Grif Griffin that are real and as for Grif he is accomplished, smart and has great confidence about his person and know very well what he wants and needs (even if I didn’t see it at first), he’s no victim or a person with a rotten self-esteem, not at all. He’s the ultimate force and drive in this story and a positive one of those. Even secondary characters, such as Matthew Smithton and Pavel Alexander are not just some filler roles they are fleshed out and bring their own set of quirks, stories and facts to the story to why they are there, without them the story wouldn’t have been complete.Secondly, Joseph is a damn good storyteller, he has a way with words that just magically pull you in and then bam the world as you know it is translated into the world he has created. I know for a fact I even told my kids at one point to hush it because I was reading and I usually don't. Also, this story is told in a way that it sort of brings you from the past into the present and that is a tricky thing to do so it turns out well and you tell enough to get the reader to keep going and also understand what happens when and with who so when the end comes it makes sense. There was no issues with that here, Joseph rounded the end of with any loose ends that might have been left dangling and the the light-bulb went on and I was home.So, there I was ready to chuck my kindle in the wall and it took me forever to get through that chapter because I could only read a couple pages and then I had to let it rest for a bit and then go back to it. I didn’t understand, and I always have to understand where a person come from, it is a driving need in me, to understand why and to understand where people come from. It has nothing to do with me that I have to want or need the same things, it has to do with understanding others and knowing that ultimately they are happy, ok, getting what they need, no matter what that is, maybe that I’m not turning my back to someone who needs my help whatever. And usually, mind you now when I read BDSM books even if they are good books they always leave one thing unclear or where I go “OK, I see what you are saying and I’m sure he/she’s happy but…” there’s always a but, a but containing that the submissive is portrayed as the person who has to be convinced by the more dominant part of what they need, like a child that needs a parent to explain why you need to brush your teeth. There’s always that aspect of hint of “parent child” behavior (for the lack of a better comparison) and that drives me absolutely bonkers. I don't claim to be an expert on anything but you don't convince someone to "do" BDSM you agree to do it together because you both want to and then discuss the do's and don't's.This isn’t the case with Grif’s Toy, yes, I will admit you do have to read the whole story, from first word to last word to get the full feel of this, to understand it all and see this, but Grif is in no way shape or form not in control, or sure of what he wants, needs or elsewhere confused. As a young man, he’s like any other young person, not fully fleshed out and 100 % secured in himself, but who is but as the book grows so does Grif and he’s kick ass. No doubt about it and here is the icing on the cake, Wes, he is not perfect! I’ve only read books by one other author that manages to do this, Wes, who’s the dominant part (if that is really how you can describe him because Joseph Lance Tonlet really all through the book have Wes/Grif and Tate/Grif as equals and never strays from it) has insecurities of his own and this is also shown in a very soft and gentle way. I would even go so far to say that Weston doesn’t find his full confidence until he meets Grif, meeting Grif is what makes Wes blossom and fully believe he’s not “the freak” (to use Grif words) but that there’s a yin to his yang out there and more importantly, there’s one in Grif.Grif’s Toy, has given me a lot to reflection on, and that the best part about reading certain types of stories, even if I agree with the author that fiction is to be read as fiction, I still think a good book of fiction has so much truth in it that a good fiction book can help change lives. Grif’s Toy is a story about self discovery, about accepting yourself for who you are and in that acceptance maybe even learn to love yourself because of those “flaws”. That no matter what we all have our faults, our limits, but more so what may first come off as the most horrendous, unfair and dreadful thing in the world might be the one thing that later on takes you on the most valuable journey you could ever have taken, and without that one “flaw” you would have missed out on the one thing that helped changed your life, for the better.

I have to say that I am impressed by Joseph Lance Tonlet. I finished reading his book and gave it 5 stars and before I could come home at the end of the day to write my review he had already “liked” my 5 stars. That is a dedicated author looking for critique of his work. I am happy to provide my review in addition to the stars.Let me start by conveying, like many, ’50 Shades of Grey’ began my foray into Erotic Romance. But after reading numerous authors over the past year I happened upon learning I like dom/sub and M/M/F and therefore decided I would venture to M/M. One, because I like to think of myself as open; and two, the book description of ‘Grifs Toy’. Grif’s belief that he would remain a virgin due to his “less than man-sized equipment” intrigued me (for reasons I will keep to myself).As I began ‘Grif’s Toy’ I was a little skeptical and wondered if I was not as open as I believe myself to be. The scene with Grif and Wes in the restaurant made me feel heartbroken for Grif that he would allow someone to degrade him in such a way. If his sexual life had been altered as a result of his size why would he want someone to cut him down for it? Wes finds himself unbelievably lucky to have found Grif. Someone who not only understands “his desire-his need-to inflict both physical and emotional pain, but someone who appreciates it. Someone who burns with equal desire and gratitude in receiving it”….why? In the same regard Grif seems to live for this humiliation and gets off on it. “Every time I revealed more, made myself vulnerable, there was every possibility that he’d use it against me in the most painful, and thus pleasurable, ways imaginable”. I just didn’t get it!As Tonlet takes you back and forth in time he begins to show you how Grif develops sexually as well as emotionally and how his relationship with Wes comes to be. This back and forth is crucial in your understanding of who Grif is and what he needs. You begin to realize that without his time with Tate he could never have even been able to begin to open himself up to any relationship, let alone open himself further to Wes. (Although, in all honesty I still shake my head wondering how you have a gay/sexual relationship with a straight guy.)Even as Tonlet was weaving his tale however I still struggled with, what to me, seemed down right humiliating. I mean Grif at one point expresses that “every single thought I had about my self-worth seemed to revolve around the size of my dick”. So during a scene at a tattoo parlor with Grif and Wes it just ate at me! Wes also tells Grif that the overwhelming majority of the time he enjoys “normal sex”. As he controlled all of Grif’s orgasms I had to wonder when he did so.But as Tonlet begins drawing you to the books close you start to see the tapestry draw together beautifully and you know what Wes has done and how very thoughtful he is to the needs of Grif, and yes, how very lucky he is to have him. To have him he gets the best of both worlds…..to feed Grif’s, as well as his own desires, by giving Grif what he truly craves.One of the best examples of Wes’ love for Grif is their first kiss. It is so romantic and he is perfect when he tells him to listen, feel, smell; “can you see this as the place-this as the moment-you experience your first kiss?” Then his note the next day, WOW! There is also the shower scene toward the end of the book (I won’t give it away, but Wes makes that perfect and caring as well).Through Tonlet’s crafted way of drawing pieces in time together you learn, just at the right moment, that Grif has a masochistic as well as submissive need and there was no degradation or humiliation at all.The only thing I wish there was more of was Grif’s families influence. His father is WONDERFUL and accepting and it would have been nice to know what they thought of how is business life turned out and his relationship with Wes.This book has definitely opened my eyes in more ways than one and I am looking forward to ‘Wes’ Denial’ as well as more from this talented author, who amazes me further by this being his first (and self-published book). Maybe someday I can do it!

First oh all I will say this was absolutely perfect.......Another one for my perfect folder in my kindle......I've read nearly 500 books this year and this one is in my top 3....not an easy accomplishment really......Let's start with this....I usually don't like books with flashbacks in them but in this case it really worked and was done just right......The first scene we get is Grif and Wes in an established relationship and I really don't think this book would have been as easy to read if we didn't have that....Jumping back and forth to high school...college...meeting Wes and present time was done easily and even if you forgot what happened in what year the first line of writing got you remembering...So let's start with Wes....he was the hardest one for me to love....He humiliated Grif to an extent that I found myself grinding my teeth but it soon shows that what Wes does is what Grif needs and you soon learn to love him...That first scene was so damned hot............Now Tate...Grifs best friend and to me his first lover.....Always said he was straight (but I'm bordering on Bi-sexual...even if it was just for Grif)...He loved Grif in his own way and I so loved Tate...The way he treated Grif was truly amazing from the minute they met...They were the best of friends and Grif needed a friend like that.....His easy way of life..his banter with Grif and their sexual chemistry was so damned hot....It broke my heart .......Onto Matthew and Pavel.....Two truly amazing staff members that truly were great to Grif.....The way they bantered with Grif was amazing and had me laughing more than once.....And so onto Grif...Oh how I felt for Grif...with his lacking in size I felt truly sorry for how he felt he had to live his life without love....When he met Wes that first time and Wes allowed him to bind him..that was truly the hottest thing i've read ever..I love it when a dominant guy allows that...he truly wanted Grif to be comfortable with him and they way he made Grif comfortable with himself even though he was scared...Grif really is a great guy....I'll never understand a persons want of humiliation but I know it happens and Grif found the perfect partner in Wes....This book is a totally different kind of bdsm that I've ever read but it's still quite an easy read...The book flows so easily from the first page.....Joseph is a new author and this is his first book and to say that an authors first book is truly amazing and perfect is a new one on me but I can safely say I will be reading more from him and am truly honoured to actually know him through a fb group along with a few more authors...He's right up there with my favourite authors and considering how fussy I can be...that's not an easy fate to accomplish.....A magnificent must read book and cannot wait for the next x

Another story that's been festering away for 3 months in my mountainous TBR pile. An unexpectedly good read, not your usual BDSM story, that's for sure, no 'boys' or 'Masters' in this one, AND the subject matter is unusual in itself...microphallus, and it's effect both physically and mentally upon a sufferer. 4.5 stars from me.Not going to rehash the story, the blurb gives you a good idea of what to expect, and in view of the kink element (humiliation and degradation...which are definitely not my fave kinks) although there are warnings, I honestly wasn't expecting to like the story anywhere near as much as I did, and to be truthful the kink aspect was not overwhelming by any means. What we mainly have is a man's (Grif's) journey, from boyhood when he discovers that all is not as it should be 'down below' compared to other boys his age, to finding someone (straight boy and regular horn dog Tate) willing to indulge Grif's need to be humiliated, ridiculed and attain sexual release without penetration whilst enjoying the benefits of being regularly 'serviced', to eventually finding that special someone (Wes, who hopefully has his own story to tell)) who understood his preferred kinks and the need for them whilst gently depriving Grif of his virginity at 28 (and never been kissed either) and subtly trying to change the way Grif feels about himself and his 'Stubby' friend.Grif's Toy is NOT what you think it is either hehe, heads out of the gutter people...but I'll leave you to discover what it actually is.

2014 - Grif and Wes are having dinner in a posh restaurant. Grif is in pain. It's Wes who's keeping him there. It's also Wes who's publicly humiliating him. You ask yourself: why is Grif putting up with this?1998 - Grif is 13. Its his first day at Junior High. He's a physical kind of lad, and he's been looking forward to that stepping stone on the way to manhood - the communal showers after gym. Its the first time he's done this. It doesn't go quite the way he planned. And that's the catch. Grif has a kink, and for once we have a reason - the link formed in that 13 year old's brain between sexual awakening and public humiliation.Life will never be the same.This is a well written story, shuffling between clearly defined time zones, markers in Grif's life. We get to follow the development of Grif from High School boy to Undergraduate to business man. Along the way he comes to terms with what he likes and why he likes it. It's not all bad but it sure ain't easy. You want to give him a hug - but he sure wouldn't appreciate it, his shyness would ricochet toward self-defence and indignation, his secret fears blocking any comfort being offered.An imaginative first book. An extraordinary character.

When I started this story I truly had NO idea what it was going to be like. I hadn't read the blurb fully, but had been told by friends who'd read it that I'd love it.Now, while I absolutely, truly, 100% loved EVERYTHING about it, I also felt heartbroken for Grif.His self loathing, insecurities were so hard to read. I'm so glad that he was shown that size wasn't the be all and end all.Something I admit that at first I did find hard was hearing how he was spoken to during "intimate" times, once it was explained this did dissipate but it still left me feeling so hurt for Grif.Overall this truly was a fantastic read with a really strong message in it too.

This is the second time I've read this book and I feel like I understand it so much more this time around. Humiliation won't be everyone's favourite kink, in fact I don't know of any other stories like this one. The story is so well written. I love the back and forth through the timeline. The characters are all so interesting. My reason for the reread is because I never got around to reading book 2 so excuse me, Wes' Denial is waiting.