It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy

I *never* like books like this, or so I thought. I find them corny, and I dislike what I (arrogantly) consider to be a very American lack of sophistication and intelligence. Turns out I was so wrong about this one. The expressive, sassy, “hey girl” prose is what makes it so good. It’s blunt, but it’s also deeply caring. Thank god, I didn’t feel lectured. That’s not what anyone needs when they’re hurting. AND it actually make me laugh out loud — and at times cry. That’s a sign of a good book.I’ve now been out of a relationship that ended suddenly and confusingly for just under a month. I was totally into the guy and thought everything was going well. (One of those, yep.) When I bought the book, I was admittedly already on my way to healing (at least managing to get out of bed for work, sleep for more than 4 hours a night, talk about things other than my ex, and not cry at absolutely everything). I had also been following the no contact rule, staying healthy, etc, but I wanted a boost. Something to validate my pain whilst giving me direction and encouragement. A tool to keep me on track.The book is semi-instructive, which is exactly what you need after a breakup. Too much analysis only pulls you into your own thoughts; instruction gets you focused on creating change and taking responsibility.Each chapter in the first section focuses on different negative post-breakup behaviours — from substance abuse and ex-stalking to focusing too much on the good times — and presents the advice needed to avoid or alleviate these via: an overall summary, “letters” from other women, and accounts from the authors of their own experiences. The mix of formats is good fun.The second part of the book helps you put all that advice into practice with a kind of action plan.If you’re really, really grieving and need to just be there right now (I did for those first two and a half weeks), maybe you won’t be ready for this. Buy it anyway for when you are so you can reach for it straight away. And if you’re already healing like I was, go for it. It’s so easy to consume.Hats of to the authors for getting the tone spot on for their audience.Enjoy and good luck xx

This book really helped me to open my eyes one day and everything (read: that jackass who disappeared from my life) what was on my mind became about 1000x smaller and actually not important.I ended up my long relationship (>10 years) and didn't suffer as much as after a year being with somebody with whom I thought things were just great and I felt so myself for the first time in my life. And so did he, apparently. Until one day out of nowhere he decided this is not his place to be here, he needed more space and moved out in 10min. In COVID full lockdown, stage 4. Yes that much of respect I had from him. And the Foxy-me would have closed that chapter of my life, turned around and started my real life. But somehow I was brainwashed I can't actually explain it differently. I was devastated, didn't go to work for weeks, didn't eat, drank like crazy, smoked like a dragon, cried, had permanent insomnia, lose lost of weight, isolated myself from people, ruined my health, and wait for it.... I still allowed myself to see him, to 'be with him' whenever he felt like it. We would see each other twice a week, then he would not talk to me for days between that, then we would see each other once a week, and then he was quiet. The silent days became longer and more profound. He would come whenever he wanted sex, sometimes I hated it but still agreed to it. He wasn't even sure if he loved me, blaming him being 'troubled' on how horrible he treated me. He made himself a victim in many peoples eyes, he was so troubled so broken yet he couldn't let me free. He couldn't do the one thing that he owed me. To tell me: this is over I'm sorry. Instead I heard: till I fix myself I can't be what you need. etc. My brain was on fire. My heart was broken yet full of false hopes. Yes you could ask: how did you allow this all? I ask myself this exact question today. But I was brainwashed by this narcissistic guy, who looking now from a perspective actually never really treated me right. The red lights were all over even at the beginning of our relationship. And also so was that deep gut feeling saying: you can't trust him, don't fell for him, don't lose yourself in this. He knew I had these worries as I told him and he worked through them to make me his and vulnerable. He cheated on me in the first two months of our relationship with his ex. Apologised said how much he loved me. Then there was more drama on that side. And more. And then the only good thing about everything was probably sex but well now thinking of it it wants even that good, I can find good sex elsewhere right?But while going through break up, there is time for drinking and time for this book. I didn't have it at the beginning of my agony. So I can't say if it would work, but I can definitely say that my best friend literally said the same things to me at the beginning what Greg said in this book and although it made sense and made me laugh a little bit, it was not the time for my brain to actually believe it. My brain was in denial, all I was thinking was that he would fix himself and things will be good again. We really live in some weird utopian state when hurt by somebody we loved. And I say it again here: loved. What we loved is gone, even if he/she comes back it is a different person and parallel life, we may not love that person anymore or we may longe for the past which will never come back with him/her or without them. So this book is great, it is witty, funny, I cried from laughter while reading it in two days. And I also felt a bit better about myself that I managed to not go crazy, Yes I let him treat me like dirty, I'm already embarrassed about that but I never went running after him, threatening him, spying, or asking his friends about his life, lurking around his place, telling him I need him to live, even though it felt like this for about 3 months. I wanted to be the better person. The stronger person. The one that values her life. The one that won't fell as low as to define my self-worth by some guy with no so hard d-^&%. So I suffered in silence with my closest friend and my sister far away from home (continents away) in COVID time. Until I read this book, and while reading it made pauses to think about everything what has happened (the good and the bad) and decided for myself: F that Sh. I don't deserve it, I'm a good person with so many great values. Yes, I still don't know what I want in my life but definitely not the last 5 months. I made many new friends literally randomly on the streets and we are still best buddies and growing stronger. I had to I had to break lockdown rules in order to stay sane, I had to reach out like in old days, find people, find my crowd and if I did it in COVId so can anyone. And I avoided Tinder by all means, but I made a few dates and nights with people I knew. First it was bad I couldn't trust anyone, count open up and even relax. But keep trying and ti will get better. I'm not ready for any relationship atm, what I'm ready for is to establish myself as a independent strong worthy woman and yes (Greg) I did changed my living room totally and yes it helped heaps! It is the oasis of calmness and looks like the Osho's meditating room/minimalistic freak/plant lover. Read this book with open heart and honesty.

I really feel that it is the best book for a breakup, they give you advice, activities and they talk about it from their own experiences and those of other people, they express everything you are going through and living and how hard it is to forget someone, but it is very good, recommended. 10/10

I recently went through a very tough breakup which - for me - came totally unexpected after many years of relationship. I thought he was my soulmate. He was not.And this book opens your eyes in ways that no other book does:Most books about breakups are written by women, who don't really understand men - lets face it.Then, there are all those horrible "win your ex back" books with questionable manipulation strategies that will only prolong your already unbearable suffering. Forget all that.For me, it was important to understand the male perspective. So i bought this book.Yes, it was published in 2006 and might be a bit "old fashioned" sometimes. Someone else mentioned earlier "it's too american" (i don't need to be called "hot superfox" every few pages) but hey, its funny.Greg is VERY direct (while being funny at the same time) and this is good: because the sooner you accept the reality the sooner you are ready to MOVE ON and not be stuck in the past.Examples of Greg's eye-opening sentences:If you think "He was THE ONE". Greg's answer to that is: He wasn't The One because he chose to leave you. The right person will choose you over and over again.If you are thinking of all reasons why you should still be together. Greg's answer to that is: The person you loved took a long good look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship and said 'No thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere'.Dear ladies out there, accept the reality, focus on yourself and your wellbeing, move on. This shall pass.

No duden en comprarlo. Más si acaban de terminar con alguien pero si no aún así trae excelente información. Ayuda a ver las relaciones de una manera realista que te hace pensar muy bien y sobre todo a quererte y valorarte más

This literally has been my break up buddy in the light of a recent break up. Throughout the book it almost as if Greg and Amiira are literally next to me , talking to me and telling me to do what I naturally should have been doing. To anyone who wants a long term solution , read ths book , trust the words and implement the excercises. It made me feel a million times better and I am sure it will do the same for you.

F A V O U R I T E.