What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Problems with Anger (What-to-Do Guides for Kids)

I've just bought this for my 7yr old who has pretty extreme outbursts of anger. He has ASD (autism) and ADHD so he cannot help but react instantly to situations without thinking, but my hope is to help him gradually learn better reactions for the times when his brain does actually engage before furniture goes flying! I was reluctant about introducing this book to my child because it's not tailored specifically for children with special needs, and he's only 7, however I feel this book is so child-friendly and clearly laid out that even young and/or high functioning ASDs like my son will find it accessible. The medium sized print means he can read it himself, though it is designed to be read and worked through with an adult, and the cute illustrations throughout help to keep him engaged and interested too. My son is very aware of how much trouble his temper is causing him and wants things to change. He is open to working through this book and I do think that's really important. I don't know how effective this would be for children who are more close-minded and unwilling to change, as it requires the child to not just listen or read but actively participate with some written exercises throughout the book to reinforce what's being learned. With that in mind, I'm not sure it would help moody teenagers who are set in their ways, and would recommend it as being most suitable for 7-12 year olds.The book starts out with a clear metaphoric explanation of what anger is, using driving a car, which I think will appeal to a lot of kids. My child struggles to understand a lot of metaphors but I think he will understand this, especially using the little visual exercises the book encourages us readers to employ while we read. The metaphoric explanations also help children to distance themselves a little and see that their anger / temper is just one part of the whole (positive) person they are. This approach is used throughout and I think it's a great way to help children deal with the problem without lowering their probably already fragile self-esteem (angry kids tend to get themselves into a lot of trouble after all!). This book reassures kids that it's perfectly normal and healthy to feel angry; it's what they choose to do with that anger that is causing the problems.The written exercises throughout the book are simple and can be tailored to the individual child's needs and abilities across the primary school levels. Most of the exercises involve children filling in what their thoughts are in various anger-trigger every day situations, and filling in the emotional features on what they are probably feeling when they have those thoughts. A parent can fill these in alongside a reluctant or less able writer acting as a scribe, while more able children can do it themselves and include more detail. I think the smattering of written exercises are included to help ensure that children feel involved and are relating to, and understanding, the situations and triggers the book explores. There are lots of little light-hearted bits in here that will help the children to deal with things without getting bogged down with negativity too, and I really like that. For example on one page there is a check list asking kids if anger has ever helped them in such and such situations, and one or two of them are a bit far-fetched. I can see my son giggling at these as he ticks them off, while still getting the clear point that angry reactions don't achieve things in life. This particular check list is followed up with a more serious list that helps children to understand there are also situations where there angry reactions actually make things worse.All in all a four star book. The only gripe I have is that there are some American words included, and for the price tag, I think they could have produced a UK version! Instead of explaining American words, which I think will detract my son from the task at hand, I have gone over them with tippex and written over them in UK English (recess, grades etc). It only took me about five minutes to do. Other than that, I think the book tackles the issue in an extremely clear and child-friendly way, without impacting on the child's self esteem. Some of the techniques in the book are ones I know that challenging behaviour advisers recommend, and the text makes good sense to me throughout as well. I'm confident that the research that went into producing this was of a high standard and that this will have some positive impact on my child's anger issues in the long run.

Really good book. My 8 year old has a new found temper since lockdown, this book has been really useful. We read together and talk and do some of the excersizes, but it's basic enough for him to read and understand alone. There's a lot in here for anyone from age 3 or 4 upwards (including adults!) The key for us has been talking about it together and exploring and developing ideas the book gives us. It's certainly not exhaustive, but it is very user friendly and is designed as a journey to be read from beginning to end, but there are strategies and thought processes that help from the very beginning. Another real plus point is the fact it examines why gettimg angry is not desirable, before diving into how to avoid it. Although this can be read and the basics understood by an 8 year old, the key to maximising the benefit is taking the time to go on the journey with them

I bought this book to work through with my 8 year old son after searching for books on children's anger and reading other reviews. The book has lots of opportunities for children's input to keep them interested. It is very practical, which is what I wanted. The book has given my son and I a framework to discuss his anger (and other people's too!). This in itself was a big thing. My son's behaviour has changed immensely recently and I am sure that spending time with him talking about it with this book has been a big part. When anger takes hold we both know key words etc from the book that have helped make any flare ups much smaller as well. When he packed his bag and left home for 5 minutes I know it was his way of escaping the giant vaccum cleaner! (We know what I mean!) I have encouraged others in the family to have a read so we can be consistent and all benefit from the book's approach and ideas. Thoroughly recommended.

Up-dateWe have used this book for both of our sons. Number one son has responded to this book amazingly. It's pitched perfectly for a child and gives lots of great analogies that he can relate to rather than lecturing, which would just cause him to disengage / switch off.I rate this book so highly because we had struggled for a long time to help our son with anger management and failed repeatedly. I don't know how one book hit the mark but it did. He has picked it up so well that he even asks if we can read his anger book when he feels things are getting on top of him!Number two son has seen how much it helps his brother that he now asks to read it for fun.What an incredible book. (And no, I don't k ow the author or have shares in Amazon!)Awesome book. Believe all the other 5 star ratings because they are true. Worth every penny.

bit American, but good things to try with children. I have adapted it a little to fit with a 5yr old British boy and we are getting along great with it. He even quotes things back to me! So, he's definitely taking it in. If I shout, he tells me "I know a secret, the only thing that makes you angry is you" We have shared some insights that we may not have got to if it wasn't prompted by the book. Its not a "lovely touchy feelie" book. My son if gifted beyond gifted in some areas (from his teachers) but is on the SEN register for behavioural problems. I want to help him to not be written off with a label. Its practical and has exercises to develop ideas and get to the truth. I like it, my son likes it = it was a good buy.