The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place

A headline here. A new study there. We’re learning more and more about the massive and rapid technological changes taking place right under our noses every day. And we suspect these changes are impacting us in subtle and unseen ways. We feel like we can’t concentrate like we used to. Our memory doesn’t seem as good as it once was. Our kids seem hyper all the time, and we can’t imagine taking them to a restaurant without a device to keep them quiet.Life for us and for our children is different than it used to be, but we aren’t sure what to do about it. Sometimes we wonder if we should swear off all new technology and go back to a simpler time. But it doesn’t take long before we realize that this isn’t really possible. We can’t avoid the changes that have come and will continue to come. So what can we do? Do we just surrender and hope for the best?Enter Andy Crouch and his excellent book The Tech-Wise Family, a book aimed at helping us to put technology in its proper place so that our households can become places and communities where we can grow into wise and courageous people. Crouch refuses to deny the benefits and goodness of modern technology, but he insightfully warns us of unhelpful practices and habits that inevitably change us for the worse if we do not establish guidelines and disciplines that will nudge us in healthy directions.Packed with research on the impact and use of technology, Crouch shares the 10 commitments he and his family have made over the years that have structured their life together. Each chapter unfolds the logic of each commitment and encourages the reader to consider how they are facing the particular issues raised in the chapter. Studies have shown technology is the number one reason parents believe raising kids today is more complicated than in the past, so if that’s you, pick up this book. It’s written to parents, but it’s certainly not written only for parents. The insight and counsel of this book will benefit anyone looking for help in how to become a person of character.The gracious and humble tone throughout the book is exemplified by his transparency at the end of each chapter where he shares the victories and the failures he and his family have experienced. There’s no condemnation here, only thoughtful reflection, honest evaluation, and hopeful counsel. Here’s how the book unfolds and the issues he addresses:Section 1: Three Key Decisions To a Tech-Wise Family1. CHOOSING CHARACTER: WE DEVELOP WISDOM AND COURAGE TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.This chapter frames the whole book as Crouch ponders, “What is a family for?” He explains that he and his family have chosen to orient their life together toward the development of character. He distinguishes between knowledge, something readily accessible through the Internet, and wisdom which guides right action in a complex world. He also discusses the importance of developing courage, because the right thing to do is often scary and painful. The remainder of the chapter explores how modern technologies are good servants but terrible masters, especially as it relates to forming character.2. SHAPING SPACE: WE WANT TO CREATE MORE THAN WE CONSUME. SO WE FILL THE CENTER OF OUR HOME WITH THINGS THAT REWARD SKILL AND ACTIVE ENGAGEMENT.This commitment considers the space that is our home, and explores strategies for where our devices should be to help nudge us toward creativity, production, and beauty rather than mindless, banal consumption.3. STRUCTURING TIME: WE ARE DESIGNED FOR A RHYTHM OF WORK AND REST. SO ONE HOUR A DAY, ONE DAY A WEEK, AND ONE WEEK A YEAR, WE TURN OFF OUR DEVICES AND WORSHIP, FEAST, PLAY, AND REST TOGETHER.Technology makes our work easier, but it also leads us to take on more work and to rest in ways that aren’t restful. In this chapter, Crouch explores the difference between rest and leisure, the concept of Sabbath, and the empty promise of technology to relieve us of the toil of our work.Section 2: Daily Life4. WAKING AND SLEEPING: WE WAKE UP BEFORE OUR DEVICES DO, AND THEY “GO TO BED” BEFORE WE DO.In this chapter, Crouch explores our creatureliness by examining our sleep habits and bedtime rituals. He uncovers the anxieties and fantasies that both trouble and distract us from real life and the needed sleep we depend on to thrive.5. LEARNING AND WORKING: WE AIM FOR “NO SCREENS BEFORE DOUBLE DIGITS” AT SCHOOL AND AT HOME.In one of the most important chapters of the book, especially for those with children, Crouch explores how modern technologies actually make us less able to think and learn. As it turns out, easy education isn’t better, and he offers the statistics and research to back up that claim. In a world where attention spans and the ability to concentrate are declining, Crouch shows that the less we rely on screens to entertain ourselves and our children, the more capable we become at entertaining ourselves.6. THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT BOREDOM: WE USE SCREENS FOR A PURPOSE, AND WE USE THEM TOGETHER RATHER THAN USING THEM AIMLESSLY AND ALONE.In a chapter closely related to the previous one, Crouch explores how screens over stimulate us and rewire our brains, numbing us to the ordinary wonder of the world. It’s eye-opening to learn how we’re training ourselves to be incapable of wonder.7. THE DEEP END OF THE (CAR) POOL: CAR TIME IS CONVERSATION TIME.The car is one of the older technologies discussed in this book, but the way new devices are built into modern automobiles calls for fresh reflection on how we drive. Crouch shows how his family has made the most of their car time by intentionally conversing while driving rather than leaning on the crutches of screens and digital music.8. NAKED AND UNASHAMED: SPOUSES HAVE ONE ANOTHER’S PASSWORDS, AND PARENTS HAVE TOTAL ACCESS TO CHILDREN’S DEVICES.In another important chapter, Crouch tackles the issue of pornography and sexual activity, offering simple and humble strategies for helping one another live in the light. Pornography consumption is an epidemic with countless negative consequences for individuals, families, and society. This easily accessible, pervasive, and addictive content needs to be talked about with understanding and grace, and the strategies offered here can go a long way to break addictions and help curb unhealthy consumption.Section 3: What Matters Most9. WHY SINGING MATTERS: WE LEARN TO SING TOGETHER, RATHER THAN LETTING RECORDED AND AMPLIFIED MUSIC TAKE OVER OUR LIVES AND WORSHIP.This is perhaps the one chapter some families might find difficult to embrace simply because not everyone is as musical as the classically trained, jazz piano playing Crouch. That being said, there’s still a lot to gain from a chapter that encourages families to sing and worship together.10. IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH: WE SHOW UP IN PERSON FOR THE BIG EVENTS OF LIFE. WE LEARN HOW TO BE HUMAN BY BEING FULLY PRESENT AT OUR MOMENTS OF GREATEST VULNERABILITY. WE HOPE TO DIE IN ONE ANOTHER’S ARMS.This chapter explores the difference between phone calls, emails, and video chats and being present to others with our bodies, especially in the most important moments of life. We are limited creatures, and while technology can give us the illusion that we can transcend those limits, our bodies are failing and will stop working altogether. In those moments, there’s nothing like the presence of other bodies that love us.My words really cannot do this book justice. It’s beautiful, practical, accessible, and timely. Who are you becoming? How is technology shaping you right now? What habits are you adopting to help get where you want to be? This book can go a long way in helping you answer those questions.

The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch truly lives up to its subtitle “Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place.”This book is more than a set of Do’s and Don’ts thrown at the reader in a taken for granted manner. Almost every Do and Don’t is supported with passion, common sense, literature, his own experience with raising his children and most importantly Care and Love.As Andy said in the preface of the book: “When previous generations confronted the perplexing challenges of parenting and family life, they could fall back on wisdom, or at least old wives’ tales, that had been handed down for generations. But the pace of technological change has surpassed anyone’s capacity to develop enough wisdom to handle it.”Andy’s Tech-Wise Family fills part of this wisdom vacuum by offering parents practical advice on “how to find the proper place for technology in our family lives — and how to keep it there.” His ten commitments of the Tech-Wise family are a roadmap towards achieving that objective and the most important commitment in my opinion is to use technology with purpose, intention and care because technology “doesn’t stay in its proper place on its own”.This book is not a call to eliminate devices from our lives by any means, but rather to benefit from all kinds of devices without building our lives around them or allowing them to take over our lives.Nizar Nakfoor

Modern families who care about their children must consider how technology impacts their lives. Andy Crouch recognizes this truth, and shares with us some strategies that he and his family have tried to implement in order to manage the challenges of 21st century living.I read this book upon my wife’s recommendation. She had heard Any Crouch on a podcast, and she thought that his book could offer our family some well-needed guidance. We have 3 little ones in our home, all of whom love their devices. How can we help to keep our house from becoming one of those places where a family communicates more through texts than through conversation?Crouch offers some lovely and lively looks into his family and their decision-making process regarding technology. Perhaps the greatest benefit of this book is that Crouch suggests a God-centered approach to keeping all of the parts of life in their place. It is wise for a family to determine how, when, and where they wish to use technology. Once those decisions are made, it is helpful for a family to structure their home, even in its shape, so as to make this strategy more possible to pull off.One example is that the Crouch family has made parts of their home sort of tech-free zones. In those places, the family makes sure to have other things available to occupy minds. Musical instruments, art supplies, and books to read help make certain parts of a home places where a child may not feel the immediate pull of a device on his or her young mind.Another beauty of this book is that it is not a couple hundred pages of horror stories. Yes, there is a chapter on the dangers of sexually explicit content on the Internet. But even that chapter does a great job of pointing out that the heart behind being careful here is a heart of godliness, not a heart of small-mindedness.The weakness in this book is a weakness that I find almost unavoidable in such a work. Crouch, as he shares his family’s standards, can tend toward a tone of legalism. For example, the book demonstrates a Sabbatarian shape, and the rules that he promotes regarding tech and the Sabbath are surely not for everybody. At the same time, as a non-Sabbatarian, I find Crouch’s handling of that theological topic unconvincing.Other categories of Crouch family rules could be made legalistic if readers are not discerning. The author tells us of their family standard of 1 hour per day, 1 day per week, and 1 week per year when technology is put away. This is a good practice, but readers will need to be careful not to receive it as a universal rule. Similarly, the Crouch family tries to avoid tech while in the car. Again, this is a good rule, but it may not work for every family.If you can read this book without receiving recommendations as rules, The Tech-Wise Family will be of great help. The ideas are creative. The concept of having everything in its place is wise. And, for sure, Christian families need to do some very real thinking about how to manage their technology instead of letting their technology manage them.

This book forces one to formulate a positive view of life and then lets you face the question if and how technology should (not) be part of it. It also provides much needed insights into an authentic Christian life.

A helpful and accessible reading about fixing some important markers for wise and healthy use of technology in a family home.Crouch deals with six principles and “ten commandments” he and his family have adopted based upon a Christian worldview. They DO NOT comprise a Christian theology on technology, but rather disclose how a Christian family in the US adapted their heart, time and space to ‘nudge’ technology to a minor role in their household. It’s very practical and also shows Crouch’s honesty where his family members actually could not follow these rules.The book is also filled with infographics and statistics developed by Barna group about family life and technology in the US. It gives some sense of real life struggles with the weird sense of ‘easy everywhere’ produced by technological devices (especially smartphones here).I honestly enjoy Crouch’s style and proposals, and I agree with his perception—together with a cloud of witnesses—that technology has come to a critical point that requires special subversive actions. But I’m also aware that his is a very American standpoint, that would need some cultural translation for different places.

I was so sad to finish the last chapter...I wanted to sit longer and hear Crouch' s well spun words...tecnology may enhance our lives at very certain times...but it it not Life...and this book is a sweet reminder of that. Thank you for taking us into your life and thoughts.

This is a book about doing life together as followers of Jesus. It is realistic enough to acknowledge that it's setting a high bar and humble enough to admit failure. It is full of wisdom, ideas all within the messiness of living with other people. It's a book about technology but much more. It is a book about living, loving, caring and growing. Well worth switching off the technology to concentrate on for a while

Dieses Buch ist nur zu empfehlen, Im Grunde geht es um die Frage, was für ein Leben wir leben wollen. Viele praktische Ideen. Wir haben als Familie einiges umgesetzt und es hat sich total gelohnt. Das Buch macht jetzt unter meinen Freunden die Runde. Alle sind begeistert.