How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse

I recently split up after a 23 year marriage. My wife was a skilled narcissist and I turned out to be the perfect target.However, I really didn’t have any understanding of narcissism. All I knew is that I just wanted this person to love me back and she wouldn’t. Over time my confidence was shot, I became socially inept, and my feelings of self-worth were almost completely depleted.By the way, I was a college athlete, I’ve started and built four technology companies, run marathons... One would think that I would be a super self-assured person. But, never underestimate the power of the narcissist. Especially if you marry one.Over the past six months I’ve been slowly understanding my past relationship by reading a lot of books, watching hours of YouTube videos, and visiting websites about narcissism.This book had been the best resource I’ve found. The author doesn’t dwell on the characteristics of narcissism but he zeros in on the hows and whys a narcissist effectively controls and destroys their target.More importantly, this book is all about explaining why some of us are such fruitful sources of narcissistic supply.It then does a great job of waking you up to the fact that the target also plays a role in the toxic relationship. The writer then clearly explains what you have to do to heal and build boundaries for yourself to ensure you never fall into another relationship with this horrible type of person again.Bottom line - if you don’t indentify and address your codependent traits you will never be happy and it’s likely you’ll attract another predator.If you are in the process of recovering from narcissistic abuse I highly recommend this book.

I share some of the other reviewers' questions about the author of this book. He or she seems to be deliberately shrouding their identity. Why would that be? I don't think it's because they intend any trolling or trickery; they seem to be sincerely trying to help the reader. Maybe they are trying to protect themselves? There seems to be a lot of underlying anger in the writer. But this anonymity does diminish the credibility of the book some, or at least put it in doubt. One clue is that the person uses British English rather than American English in some of the spellings and punctuation. The writer also encourages seeing a therapist in such a way that I suspect the writer may be a professional in the field. The writing seems intelligent, but does need an editor. So is the author young, or maybe just not a professional writer? No shame in either.That said, and while I'm not completely finished with the last section, I'm finding the book dead-on accurate in describing my own lifelong experience with a narcissistic parent. Most illuminating to me is the explanation of how the narcissist causes the victim to deny their true self--and to create a false self to please the narcissist. The passages I've read so far describing how to rediscover the true self are direct and reassuring.Reading this book in tandem with "Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect" by Jonice Webb has been almost frighteningly enlightening. Webb's book is more reliably professional, so I recommend that, along with Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child." Don't worry if you don't think you are "gifted"; she really means "sensitive," which if you're a victim of narcissism, you probably are.Despite the strangeness of the author hiding their identity, I am finding the book extremely direct, insightful, and helpful.

I’ve read many books on narcissism and they all gave me validation about what happened to me and reinforced my decision to end the relationship. I thought that leaving was all I needed to do but I came to realize that I had reduced my life, my -self- down to a mere fraction of what they were meant to be.More than a year after leaving I knew I was still not fully healed so I kept reading book after book on narcissism. It wasn’t until I read Simon’s book that I realized what was missing from the others: Instructions on how to rebuild yourself. An understanding of how a sense of self and boundaries come about in the first place.This was the only narcissism book I’ve read that gave me hope. After a lifetime of psychological abuse I can hardly express how surprised I was to feel that. In the middle of reading it, I felt a longtime queasy knot in my stomach come undone. I don’t know what to say about the title other than to please look past it because it doesn’t reflect what’s inside.Here are my recommendations to heal long-term abuse: How to Kill a Narcissist by JH Simon Honoring the Self by Nathaniel Branden The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der KolkI wish everyone well.

This book could have been longer. After reading this book, it was the only way I was able to learn to stand up to a narcissist daughter. I was given the skills to put my foot down and not take it any longer, gaining ground and respect as a parent. I had never been able to live through one of her tantrums and it only takes one time, the first time, to let her know that things are changing. Was a must have as my life was spiraling out of control. I had to threaten her with calling the cops almost daily and now I am able to give her the space she deserves because she is not throwing the tantrums like before once she understood that she would not get the reaction she wanted out of me. If your son or daughter has ever been to prison or in trouble this is the best book to start with. Much recommended although seemed short and not too in depth, it helps with the surface stuff so I can get on with my life and get to the things that are more meaningful to me in life.

I have read several books on narcissism, trying to determine of my partner is, indeed, a narcissist, and to find ways to articulate my experience and the subtle patterns of abuse. This book is unlike others in that it describes the patterns and progressions and my reaction to it all, perfectly. I highly recommend this book!

A practical and confirming book in managing relationships with a narcissist. Simon considers the seed of narcissism is in all of us and therefore gives the concepts and advice a sense of warmth and pragmatism.

The author has done the work to really understand why we allow narcissists into our lives in the first place. He provides clear, practical advice about how to strengthen our sense of self. When we do this, what the narcissist is offering becomes unappealing. The book takes a confusing and overwhelming subject and finds the underlying principle that makes it all make sense. Highly recommended.

I feel like everything written in this book was spot on, i felt shock but it was great to understand what i have been through - Thankyou so much.

Different, a lot of good tips to manage these type of personalities, especially when they are family members you dealing with.

Good read. Would highly recommend