For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men (Christian Softcover Originals) Paperback – Large Print, June 15, 2006

This book and the "for men only" book are the best books I've ever read. For couples beginning a relationship or years in already, this is a great and insightful book. I read them with the mindset to understand the men in my life, even to understand my sons, but in between, I also get to learn and understand myself better too. I don't feel so alone in my feelings and thoughts anymore, insecurities I have that I was feeling is just me being over sensitive or unreasonable about, I now understand better why I feep them and that I am not the only one. I feel more normal about it. Next I want to get the parenting book and the one for young men, for when my sons are a bit older.Read it with the mindset to understand your partner and learn from it to be there for your partner better.Parts in this book were some very tough pills to swallow, especially with a partner who entertain the bad habits that creates your insecurities and feeling alone in those feelings, but the for men only book really explain this well to them and if he really desires to learn about your wiring and emotional security and to nurture that, then he should read the men only book too

The results of the surveys were very enlightening. I have to say that many of the responses were exactly what I would have said had I had been one of the men interviewed.

I first read "For Women Only" several years ago in an effort to find out why my wife of 30-plus years and I weren't happier in our marriage...oh, and I also wanted more sex, I must admit. Now, as a 60-plus dad, seeing a daughter's 21-year-old marriage likely ending soon, in brainstorming "How can I help save things and protect the grandkids?" this book popped into my head as a possible aid.I remember its startling clarity and instant-opening up of what made my wife tick. Now, I am reading other readers' reviews and re-living those flashbulb moments all over again!In the big picture, this book reminds me SO much of one of my all-time favorite movies, Mel Gibson's "What Women Want" (minus the ridiculous pantyhose / shaving scenes and unfortunate bad language at times.) Women have always seemed truly unknowable and difficult, if not impossible to please...and they talk ENDLESSLY! Now I know why...or at least have a beginner's appreciation for how complex they are.Even though it has been several years, I still recall learning from author Shaunti Feldhaun that women can seriously multi-task in their heads, effortlessly, and without screwing it all up! I STILL struggle with this, as my so-different male brain constantly tells me that my wife isn't paying "close attention" to me as I read a short clip from the newspaper---as her eye contact is ALWAYS elsewhere.Similarly, my wife was astonished to find out that I can be gazing off into space and not be thinking of ANYTHING.We were both reassured that I'm "normal" by being "affected" by lingerie ads in the Sunday newspaper circulars, while she pays no attention. And so on.MAJOR revelations, in the first reading. And so I bought the For Men Only" companion and we read both books together. (We need to do it again....and again. The natural man forgets this stuff fairly easily.)It truly IS in my nature to want to please my wife, but I never associated that with things like doing expected chores without being asked, etc. I've read a whole bunch of these relationship books (Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands [ASIN:0060520620 The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands], also PC&F of Marriage[ASIN:0061142824 The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage], both by Dr. Laura; Why Venus & Mars Collide by J. Gray[ASIN:0061242977 Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress], Sheet Music by Leman [ASIN:0842360247 Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage], Waffles/Spaghetti by the Farrels [ASIN:0736919619 Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences], The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women by the Rosbergs [ASIN:B00FFBLMHO The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women (Paperback) - Common], No More Headaches by Slattery [ASIN:1589975383 No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex & Intimacy in Marriage], Is That All He Wants by Maria Taviano, and many others). But I'd have to rate Feldhaun's landmark books at the top for the "getting inside each other's heads" level of discovery. "Collide" also has excellent and memorable metaphors and very practical insights, so it comes in a close second, for ME.Unlike with Mel, in the movie, we may not be able to know exact thoughts as they occur in our spouse's head, but we can remember tendencies, priorities, honesty, and patience. And better understand why each responds so differently in the same event we share. We can know what truly is pleasing to the other, and how to truly love them --- even though they are SO DIFFERENT (!)--- as the Savior would have us do. Thanks, Shaunti !!!

Very informative.

This is truly a must read for any woman! I think the key point to take home is that men need to feel respected like we need to feel loved and that these primary needs we have are just different enough that our approach to everyday issues is very different. Who knew that guys perceive reminders as an affront to their abilities? Who knew most men would rather feel unloved than disrespected? Who knew that the simple day to day things we sometimes say and do can challenege our mens' sense of manhood? This book answered some questions about men's behavior for me. I too thought that his walking away was a negative thing but it turns out most men need to withdraw to process how they are going to respond/proceed. The author lists key points in how men process thoughts and actions differently from women when it comes to their relationships and cites data she and her team collected. She uses examples and quotations which aid in the eye opening messages she gives. The men are visual and lust is wired into them part was fascinating. I would caution that this book has a progressively Christian slant to it and so this section becomes apologetic to a fault. I would tell the author that "Ok, I get it, men are visual. You started to lose me when you got defensive for men and then got too religious about it. Sometimes presenting facts is enough said." The author describes how men have a photo library of visual images that they are wired to collect constantly while women generally are not. As an example she cites her husband's asking her whether after seeing an attractive male actor onscreen she ever found herself seeing that image the next day. He was shocked she said never. I would say never also. She goes on to say how pornography can be so appealing to some men because of the visual images and the inherent "I want you". She gets quite defensive of how men are wired to lust after women. I have ZERO issue with my hubby appreciating beauty in any form. He is evolved enough to say things like "yeah that guy is hot, don't you think honey? Heck if I were a woman I'd be into him!" So I can validate his visual sense and say similar things back about beautiful women. I think he has fewer struggles with the visual thing for 3 reasons; 1) he is artistic so he appreciates beauty for what it is 2) he can very easily separate appreciation of beauty from a sense of guilt or sin or wrong doing of any kind. 3) he is not in fear of religion. And THAT is where the over zealousness re sin, lust etc in the book started to grate on me. Getting too religious about it all had a backhanded effect on me. I didn't need all the Biblical references and metaphors, analogies. That being said the basic tenets of the book are fascinating, eye opening and the author is quite successful at showing how critical understanding these tenets is to a successful relationship. This book taught me that I need to tell my husband (and my son also for that matter, so he can feel empowered as he embarks on his life's journey as a man - another AHA moment I had listening to this book) the many words of praise and appreciation I use telling other people how wonderful he is. It's not about his missing a small detail somewhere in the day to day but what we BOTH need is for me to voice my appreciation so he can feel loved the way he needs it and so that I can feel the full impact of his love back. Doing this is the single most important thing he needs from me. There's a good section on sex and male/female differences in perception of it's role in a relationship. Not as eye opening as some other points she presents. This is not a ultra conservative, woman is subservient message. It's a very positive and loving, don't assume cause you're likely to assume wrong message. I would tell my children to pick a mate based on how they would envision each other being open to the message of this book. I think I would even give this book and it's companion for men (I haven't read it yet but deduce what it might say based on this one) as engagement gifts...or sooner.A worthy read/listen. I guess I would tell my "sisters" out there, don't be too rigid about the actual words of the book, but really listen to the message behind it. If you let your man know/feel how much you truly appreciate what he is and does in all the ways that matter, to him and to you, he will feel empowered and be more loving.

This book is fantastic. Every marriage needs this!

So many insights I didn't have were uncovered here and I really loved it and definitely will implement it in my life

As someone who is still young and in a relationship, it was quite interesting to see how men work. Shanty Feldhahn did an amazing job, not only explaining but also provoking the reader to think about their actions. As women we often tend to want to fix things and often also our partners, but what I've learned is that excepting them for who they are, their manly nature, will give you strength to be the loving spouse that your partner deserves. I'd recommend it to anybody in a heartbeat.

An eyeopener....if you want to know what is that thing which is going wrong in your relationship....ladies just read this.......

This is a simple book, with no pretensions to exhausting the subject; but it is clear, direct and useful. And not only for women in a relationship - it made me understand a few things about my father and brother, and see ways in which I can have a better relationship with them. It also made me want to be in a long-term committed romantic relationship with a man - it must be a fascinating thing to be that close to one of these incredible creatures! :)