Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall in Love . . . Or Never Call Back

I am a career-oriented woman who's found success professionally but hopeless in the realm of love. I'm tired of turning to my girlfriends after a guy ghosts me. We can speculate why the date didn't work out all we want but I felt like I was talking in an echo chamber; of course your girlfriends are going to watch your feelings. I was so sick of friends and dating books that tell you platitudes like “the right guy will show up when you least expect it” or “find someone else who deserves you”. I just wanted to know what to DO so I could find the right partner. THIS WAS THE FIRST BOOK that gave me SMART tips and real examples from 1,000 guys.Now it all makes sense: I took the quizzes in her book and found out I've been coming across as part “Boss Lady” (the TOP date-breaker) and part “Flasher” this whole time. In other words, I could come off as too independent and honest-to-a-fault (on a first date). Truth is, ladies, many men in my age group (~30-45 age) aren't as ready for strong, independent women as much as they say they are. SUPER IMPORTANT: Greenwald's tips don't ask me to change who I am but instead offer tweaks to what I could bring to the first date. I skipped over the “Out takes” section but I gotta admit the author has a great sense of humor and fresh perspective as a Harvard MBA graduate. I wish she had interviewed more women though... I wanted to know more about how women should transition from work mode to dating mode in the Boss Lady section. Maybe that can be the follow-up book :)Bottom Line: I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK. Often as women, we know why certain guys are date-breakers for us but rarely do you hear it from the guys' in-depth perspective! It's kind of cool how Greenwald got 1,000 guys to open up to her about these things. Just shows us that we women aren't the only judgmental, superficial ones. As Greenwald wrote, "The goal is to figure out what ILLUSIONARY triggers are keeping the man you'd like to see again from getting to know the real you." Amen.So should there be a day I actually find the right guy, I'M SENDING THAT WEDDING INVITATION TO MRS. GREENWALD.

Good news, ladies! It's probably not your fault he didn't call you for that second date. Most of the stories relayed in this book indicate that, yep...it's him. Sure, there are a zillion things women do to turn men off - being rude, bitchy, whiny, over-sharing, etc, etc, etc. But when a guy doesn't want a second date with you because you drink Diet Dr. Pepper or you snuggled a cute puppy? That would be his problem and not yours.Even if you did everything right - you were kind, enthusiastic but not overly so, made sparkling conversation about his favorite topic (him), kept it light and amusing - he still may not call you ever again because you ordered linguine on your first date and his ex (who cheated on him) liked linguine and it brought back a bad memory that made him dislike you by association.While this book will definitely help you recognize the things you do that send men running in the other direction, what it really does is coaches you on how to get a second date out of...a guy that is a jerk and you probably don't want him anyway. But let's not discount that; it's much better to refuse him than be refused. Right? The author equates it to a job interview: you may not even want the job, but it's still nice to get an offer letter.One of the reasons we give up on dating is because it's simply exhausting. You put forth all this effort to be charming and interesting, only to have the guy be a loser who's not worth it or get turned off because you mention you're adopted. The first date is fraught with perilous land mines. BUT!!! This book works in that, if you follow the advice and treat it like a game (you know, fun...like dating is supposed to be?), 9 times out of 10 you will indeed get him to ask you out again. Then it's your choice instead of his.I realize this review probably comes across as negative, but nothing could be further from the truth (note the 5 stars). I found it to be a valuable resource and I learned much about dating from it, and so will you.

I thought this book was very informative on how men think in terms of dating especially the first date. As women we tend to over analyze everything but we should just relax. Although some of what Rachel Greenwald says should be a no brainer but hey we make mistakes and the men in the book tells us the mistakes women often make, some subtle some not so subtle. With this book it lets us know what kind of answers we should be telling them on the first date when asked a certain question. It list what you should and shouldn't do on the first date,what should not be the topic of discussion, and what's appropriate dress atire. This book gives all sorts of tips for going on a first date. It also give you a check list of a certain dating personality you may have acquired and what should be done to get a better response or call back. I deffinitly recommend this book to all my single ladies.

I found this book to be informative and very helpful to avoid the pitfalls in the cyberspace dating process. Good tips. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a mate.

After many failed attempts at romance I decided I needed a little help some insight into the male mind set , I was never a believer of 'playing the game' but I will be now , I have practised a couple of snippets of advice and they do work , still not entirely comfortable with the concept of the treat em mean to keep em keen but if that's what it takes then thats what it takes . I truly believe every teenager should be given a book like this to read before they embark dating it would save a lot of heartaches . I wanted a balanced view on these books so I ordered several and they do all basically say the same so you know it's not just one persons view on life and love , this particular book was well written and will be a constant source of future reference , until I have found Mr Perfect for me .

Very good and so fast.

I definitely learned a lot reading this book. With 1000 "exit" interviews with men for her clients over 10 years, the feedback on what went right and wrong on a first date (and subsequent dates) comes straight from the horse's mouth. Very useful.

so...the book is interesting indeed..however, i know i will have to read it more than twice as its a very fine line to slip the right path..teh author does have a good point but there are so many there that its not easy to remember them all..consequently it can be a bit stressful to apply it all in the real life so i think taking baby steps is the key here..also on teh other side it makes me wonder if following all these rules is not contradicting oneself at some point as im not truly convinced that there is one model that would fit them all..worth it to read thou as it does keep ur brain cells going and make u reflect on ur attitude through the others eyes.Hope this helps