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C**N
Read it! Man or woman
This book and the "for women only" book are the best books I've ever read. For couples beginning a relationship or years in already, this is a great and insightful book. I read them with the mindset to understand the men in my life, even to understand my sons, but in between, I also get to learn and understand myself better too. I don't feel so alone in my feelings and thoughts anymore, insecurities I have that I was feeling is just me being over sensitive or unreasonable about, I now understand better why I feep them and that I am not the only one. I feel more normal about it. Next I want to get the parenting book and the one for young men, for when my sons are a bit older.Read it with the mindset to understand your partner and learn from it to be there for your partner better.
S**N
Absolutely Love This Book
This is one of my favorite relationship books and I recommend it to every couple.I am the wife and read this to see if this was applicable to me, and I will say that I learned more about myself than I thought I would. I realized what I was feeling and finally how to convey my feelings thanks to this book. I gave it to my husband to read, telling him if he really wanted to understand me, this book explains it. Since he has read it, he really has been applying it and we have greatly improved our communication. Many a dumb argument has been extinguished at the start and I feel the care. In turn, I had purchased and read the Only for Women book, and with the knowledge of both books in my arsenal, I am able to convey my feelings better and understand why I react to some things, myself.I also really appreciate how this book offers statistics and common answers among common people in order to find out why the majority of people feel and react the way they do, rather than a therapist offering their opinions. I don't think I've gotten such accurate answers before. I also found this book to be funny and I genuinely enjoyed reading it. This one more so than Only for Women. Maybe I have more of a man's brain lol I needed the humor and encouragement within this book from the author to help me keep reading. (Only for Women is a little more serious and emotional.)Even if it isn't 100 percent applicable to you and your relationship, it is still a great read with valuable tools that could even help with any relationship between men and women. Understanding the base of a man's mind and the possible likely reasons behind his actions is such a good feeling. I apply it to my father and brothers, even, since they too, are men.
B**5
Great Book
Very well written and insight into what my partner might be thinking. This is part of a great combination of books.
F**D
Great for couples
We ordered “for women only” and “for men only” and did this as a couple. It’s been so eye opening and great!
F**S
Good...but not "the Bible"
Being a man, I am always willing to learn more about female psychology. The problem with the books about this topic is: they are few (women are more interested in reading books about male psychology than the other way around) and they contradict each other. This book adds to the confusion giving some advice which flies in the face of other books I have read.This is a book for committed relationships. And it has a Christian orientation. I don't have any problem with that. Although I am not a Christian, I am religious and Christian references don't bother me. If you happen to be offended by references about God and the Gospels, please stay away from this book.THE GOOD:Firstly, the book is very useful in explaining the reason about some women's behaviors which challenge men's understanding. The book is filled with truths: from the very obvious ones ("Women have lower sex drives than men in average", "Women like to solve problems by talking about them") to the not-so-obvious ones ("Women can't disconnect from a problem as easily as men do").Secondly, the book gives some useful advice to work with the problems explained.Thirdly, the book is well written, easily read and the authors have included a quick start guide which is useful and convenient to review the main points.Fourthly, the book relies on a statistical survey. This fact distinguishes from other books which are based on anechdotal evidence or misinterpretations of scientific studies.Fifthly, this book treats both sexes with respect and this is not usual in this kind of studies (see, for example, my review about "the female brain")So why do I give it only four stars? Because I think the book has some flaws.THE NOT-SO-GOOD:1) The authors have selected some six findings about the inner lives of women and they have submitted these findings to a survey. Good enough but I wonder if these findings are the most important or relevant. Is it not possible to find more than six findings about female psychology? Why these ones and not other ones?2) In my humble opinion, the authors are too confident about the survey. They claim a statement and then they give the survey as the definitive proof. But I am wary about surveys who ask people about their feelings and thought processes. For these "introspection" surveys to be accurate, the following statements should be true:a) People know what they want.b) People say what they think.Obviously, when people are asked about their most intimate details of their lives, you can't be sure of anyone of these statement.About a), people are not always rational (they have a rational brain and an emotional brain). When asked about the motives of actions motivated by irrational feelings, they are prone to rationalize their actions. For example, women (like men) may be rational about their feelings or they may not. I could cite my sister, who every time she has a PMS is compelled to fight with anybody who interacts with her. If she is asked about the motives of these fights, she rationalizes by blaming the other person. Another example can be found in item 3) below.About b), people are prone to hide a thought if this is not approved socially. For example, in page 78 we read, "Shaunt turned to the women in the audience and asked: 'If you had to choose, would you rather endure financial struggles or a lack of closeness in your relationship?'. Nearly every female hand went up for the 'I'd rather endure financial struggles'".Based on this and a similar result in the survey, the authors conclude that emotional security is more important than financial security. Obviously, the authors have not considered that, with this question, they were asking "Do you value more money or love?" or, in other words, "Are you materialistic?" in disguise. What human being would answer affirmatively to this question IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE?Even more, a thing is to say "I would endure financial struggles" and other different is to really endure them. Everybody can say "I would endure financial struggles for love" but the proof of truth comes when you are having financial problems, your children are suffering and you see no future. Everybody can pretend to be a selfless individual and to behave with no interest and only based on the highest principles. But, as they say in my country, "When hunger enters through the door, love leaves through the window".A better experiment would have been trying to survey a statistically significant group of men to determine their financial status, their emotional openness and their married state. Then a really simple statistical analysis could have been done to determine if financially secure men are more likely to be married than emotionally open men (these would be only two regressions). This would have been a survey about facts and not about words (which are dozen-a-dime).3) The last problem I find with this book is that it recommends men to be always catering to women's feelings. Even if the woman is pushing away the husband, he must be telling her "I love you". The authors make a good job explaining why this works and I think it works IN THE SHORT TERM. But, ultimately, women don't want to be with a pushover, with a spineless man. They lose respect if you are easily manipulated by their mood swings. If you do everything that is adviced in this book you will improve your marriage in the short term. But I think it would be awful in the long term. Your wife would lose respect for you, would start to be "bored" and you know all these good men and husband who are being divorced by their wives because they are bored.I don't have the answers for that but I think it is better to draw some fair principles at the beginning of the relatioship and not to compromise about these principles because a woman happens to be in a bad mood. When the crisis is over, a woman can understand and admire a man who has done what he thinks it is fair instead of placating his wife by submitting to her mood.THE SUMMARY:So take the advice in this book with a grain of salt. In my opinion, this is a good book but not the Bible about female psychology.In summary, a good book. In a world filled with books about female psychology, it would receive three stars. But, being the sources of information about this topic so scarce, it is a must-read for those of us who really want to understand women and make them happy.
O**I
Great Amazing Insights, rereading this surely.
Truly amazing book. Learnt so much more on how to relate to the opposite sex in relationship, thus building a more lovelier intimate relationship. Being ready to change is the crux; thanks authors.
J**N
Amazing!!
10/10 one of the best books
T**N
Great read
Really opened our eyes to the different takes on men and women’s perspective takes on things.
M**E
Accurate
Wife reviewing here… I’m half-way through this audio and I’m seriously stunned by how accurate it is. I read “For Women Only” and didn’t expect much from this one. But it actually totally applies to our marriage. I’m both excited and heartbroken when I hear this audio. If my husband would only pick one of the things and stick to it it would totally change our marriage. But he doesn’t and hasn’t.Men if you read this and actually care about your relationship, ask her to pick one item that she’d like you to apply. And do it, do it consistently until you notice her behaviour changes. Yes our actions may seems coming from out of the blue but they absolutely don’t. It all makes sense. If only you take time to pursue her heart, you may very well find that in the end, the pursuit itself is the very thing she’d been longing for all along.
V**Z
Definetly worth!
I truly recommend this book, not even to married people but every human being. Recently it looks like both gender are in war, balming each other of their problems, however we lack in knowledge about hoe other people feels or thinks
S**V
Ossm
It is just ossm , even I just read this only 5 pages of this book , completely changed my opinion about women. So, anybody who wants to better his/her relationship with their partner should read this book. It is just fav.
D**S
Sehr gutes Buch
Habe das Buch mit meiner Verlobten zusammen gelesen. Wir haben also jeweils das Buch für den anderen Partner zuerst gelesen, markiert was besonders auf uns zutrifft und dann die Bücher ausgetauscht. Man lernt wirklich viel, auch wenn man denkt, dass man das meiste schon weiß. Wem das Buch zu einseitig ist, sollte einfach das Buch für den Partner ebenfalls lesen, dort wird dann die andere Seite dargestellt ;)Ist auch auf Englisch sehr gut zu verstehen.Ich denke, dass sie jetzt wirklich besser verstehen kann und viele Dinge erheblich besser nach zu vollziehen sind. Man lernt viel darüber was ihr wirklich wichtig ist.
M**H
Great book.
It really helped me understand what my wife has been thru which in turn helped me with my frustration as I now have a total different perspective.
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