How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful

A truly and sincerely remorseful unfaithful spouse will find great help and encouragement from this actually “compact” self help manual. The author doesn’t frill up this book at all. It has no fillers. She is straight forward and to the point which makes it a quick read for those not into reading, but engaging enough to keep the reader interested in turning the next page and starting the next short chapter. A truly repentant betrayer will gobble this book up.It does an excellent job of explaining the damage they’ve caused without being condescending or overly critical. It is written for partners feeling true remorse, who are actively seeking to repair their marriage at any costs. Anyone with less sincerity than that will likely find some of it insulting. (There’s your sign, ladies and gents.)The advice is practical and realistic. It isn’t exactly not invasive however, but the author explains the importance of the more drastic, privacy stripping steps in an easy to understand way, and reinforces the benefits.This will be the first book I will recommend to friends or anyone who is struggling with making the ultimate decision of… do I stay or do I call it? I believe most betrayed spouses would desire a reconciliation that felt safe and good and could do the work if they knew there was genuine hope for the betrayer to do the work that is necessary. I believe this book will show both partners what is possible if all the tools were available from the tool box. Roll up their sleeves, and get to work.Good luck.

After searching and searching and ordering and buying and reading, I was unable to find anything that would help my husband 'Get it'.I'm not sure how I was led to find this book,(actually, I do know) but I'm so very thankful I did, i then googled Linda, (I google everything:) read about her, went to her websites....I knew I had to order this book.I read it with a highlighter and the next time I saw him I asked him if he would read it. He GOT IT...totally. He went to his counselor the next day and totally opened up to her and is going to his Pastor tomorrow to do the same. He was so upset (but didn't make it about himself) when he realized the depth of pain and the layers of betrayal (our situation has many other betrayals that have been revealed over the past 18 months of separation) He told his therapist that he now 'sees' the pain in my eyes when we talk or visit. He confessed to her the truths about all the betrayals and said he wants to 'get to the issue and deal with the 'whys' of his behavior.'I cannot Thank you enough for writing this book. It very well may have saved our marriage, my sanity and my husband's character issues.Thank you also for the part about the church many times placing the pressure on the wounded to forgive and move on. We've been separated a lengthy amount of time and live in different towns so we attend separate churches (same denomination though) and unfortunately his pastoral counsel and support has been exactly that which basically makes the offender the victim and was becoming self righteous in his position which was definitely creating increased pain and hurt not to mention adding to the feelings of betrayal and confusion which was of course working against contrition and reconciliation. Prayerfully my husband will be able to convey what he has realized and it will be accepted and his counsel will help in the direction he wants to take toward healing our marriage through helping to heal his wife.His behavior toward me has changed dramatically just in the time since he read this book, even after brief moments of lapse with communication or attitudinal slip ups, (remember, he's only read the book a week ago) he is very quick to stop and correct the moment lovingly.He has also commented on the fact that the book is direct and to the point and was amazed how effectively it communicated the truth without needing to be an "encyclopedia". I truly believe he is thankful for the 'in your face truth' another poster referred to.I am too.

This book was insightful and helped identify many things. This is a must read for both partners in this situation.

I found this book incredibly helpful in helping me take the steps needed immediately after the affair came to light. The book is directed only at the Betrayer and provides clear and concise explanations and advice on the steps and actions you need to take to give you the best chance to save your marriage. It is short and provides straight forward advice on the right way to apologize and support your hurt spouse in the beginning and throughout the recovery. It instantly helped me see eye opening insights into our marriage to the extent my spouse was shocked and moved by my level of understanding and awareness of my failure and intentions for the steps I would take to repair the damage. Start reading it now and it will make the rest of your journey much clearer. The author provides numerous additional reading suggestions in the back of the book to help heal the relationship and continue your growth. If I save my marriage I will always feel this book was critical in helping me do that.

This book contains exactly what the title proclaims. Clear and direct actions someone can use to repair their relationship after infidelity. Personally, it helped me make better decisions on how to truly show my regret for my actions. Through the advice given in this book my spouse gave me a second chance to prove myself. Well worth buying for guidance.

I understand there are a lot mixed reviews about this book but the reality is there isn't much in this topic area that speaks to the person directly responsible. For me, in my experience, it said what I wasn't able to say objectively and I thought it was an important and valuable resource. The reviews I have read are all over the map so it makes me wonder if some of the reviews are by the people that stepped outside the marriage. Again, the experience (if you find yourself in an unfortunate need for this book) is truly overwhelming but will be better in time. The book really does a good job of articulating (to the more responsible party) of the damage and destruction they have inflicted by their choices and actions. That's all I can say. Your experience is your own and your likely having a very difficult time... So this isn't the answer, it's just another tool to help manage some understanding of an situation you won't be able to find logic in.

helpful and touches most of the aspects. would appreciate if some aspects of how to recover for the betrayed spouse was also included.

I am a betrayed spouse, yet I decided to read this book, to better understand what it is that I need to feel better... It is written so simple and so easy to understand and memorize. The author KNOWS what she's talking about. I hope my unfaithful spouse can follow recommendations and it will eventually help both of us to heal from this catastrophe.

An excellent handbook for the partner who did the dirty.I threw it at my partners head and told him he'd best get reading.What more can I say.It made a very satisfying smack but I wish it had been heavier.:)