Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life Hardcover – September 6, 2016

I was first introduced to Susan David when I came across an article she wrote entitled " 'Choosing' to be happy doesn't work: Here's what to do instead" [...] Immediately, I was a fan! Here was someone speaking about the value of challenging emotions and the limit of imposed happiness. From there, I took her on-line quiz to assess my Emotional Agility and promptly received an email with my personal results (from her personal email address). I ordered the book right away and devoured it.David writes with this straight forward acceptance of human nature. We are human and that emotions are part of that experience, joy being just one of those emotions. It is a welcome relief from the books that ask you to just not argue with reality, that it is just you hurting you or that you just need to manifest good. While those books can have helpful tools. Those tools have limits. In contrast, David uses research to show the reason why positivity is difficult and how sometimes it can be a disservice to us. She also goes into depth about the importance of emotions that we tend to classify as negative such as grief, anger or sorrow -the lessons that they hold for us when we can examine them. She gives clear tools to help becomes aware of what our emotions are and how to not let them have control over our lives. While many of these tips may not seem groundbreaking, David takes it step further and ties this emotional awareness into the values that are important to us and how we can live a more value driven life.Her approach cuts to the heart of the matter in the most kind and encouraging way. Allowing the reader to be human, acknowledging that life is challenging and that the more that we accept ourselves entirely and with compassion, the more that we can engage in a meaningful life. The book was such a breathe of fresh air, heavily supported with research and thankfully, void of lengthy stories of how "John Doe came into my office and was feeling... "(those type of anecdotes are such irritating filler). I can't stop talking about it and recommending it to friends and strangers.

My reviews are given on Goodreads (tialinc). I finished this book in 2023, and it was the best decision I’ve made. Susan David is an amazing soul that is a perfect example of emotional agility. This book - her work - will save lives.My review from 2023:One of those books you can read over and over again!And believe me I will. Already have turned this book into curriculum so I can teach my clients.This book has so much information that can help you unhook, and see your thoughts for what they are - just thoughts. This book truly helped me to become stronger in my self-awareness. Highly recommend this book and author!

I wanted to love this book, but I only just liked it. I got some good pieces of information out of it, but nothing too revolutionary. The biggest takeaway is something I knew already but something that was good to read in the way the author presented it, and that's the fact that negative emotions aren't bad to have. You can learn from them and use them to guide you to living a life that's more in tune with your values and soon you'll feel less negative emotions once you're operating all on the same frequency with yourself. I wanted this book to go deeper, though. I felt the explanations of how to do something, how to help yourself really get unstuck, stopped short.An issue I personally have is knowing what my values are...I just simply don't know them. It would have been nice if this book gave a bit more detail as to how one might be able to figure out their values, besides trial and error and listening to their emotional feedback. I value things but don't act on them, and I'm not sure if those are still things I actually value. Maybe they're just things I'd like to value, but it'd take a super big change in character for me to act on those values and I'm not sure how to do that (this book didn't help with that). Since I'm focused on those as my values, I'm ignoring whatever the hell my real values are. But without those values in place, I don't know what I'm left with. Maybe I'm a terrible person who doesn't value much? Who knows, I don't.Labeling emotions was a helpful exercise that I took away from this book; it's good to not place blame or judgment with how you feel and let things just *be* what they are without trying to force them into something else. That said, I read this book because I know changes need to happen in my life and while I'm not going to try to force those changes, I'm still not 100% sure how to solidly guide myself into those changes. I'm well-versed with mindfulness and I know that a big element of suffering is our human tendency to attach expectations to things, and letting go of those expectations is important. Emotional Agility touches upon this, but I felt the author could again go further in explaining how one can let go. There can be a lot of emotional trauma and history that leads one to hold onto something for dear life, even if it's hurting them to do so and they're aware of that (such as a past love that has no chance of being mended back into a relationship). But just being able to let go doesn't magically happen when you know that you should do it and why you should it (but oh, how I wish that were all it took).If a workbook based on this book was released, that would probably be extremely helpful for people, such as myself, who are still feeling stuck. I know the actions to take but I'm still weary on how to take those actions. Even if I know what step one is, I might not know how to get to step one or act upon my motivation to get myself there. There's a missing link, a disconnect, between where I'm currently at and how to start with what I want to change and embrace to ease my daily suffering with things. This is most likely my fault, not the author's fault, but if the author was willing to put together a workbook to expand on this book, I would surely purchase it. Something to get the ball rolling and help me build up the momentum of being able to get unstuck.This book has great ideas in it, it makes sense, it just didn't get me in a position where I could do something with that information. Still a good read, and I recommend it for anywhere looking for a place to start if they're feeling like the world is against them and they can't keep their head above water.