Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol
L**R
A personal journey of recovery offered, and explained.
My first book finished in 2020.I preordered this in August or September and then forgot about it. In the meantime I had stopped drinking. This showed up on my doorstep yesterday, the last day of the (my drunkest) decade.My story closely parallels the authors (especially through high school and college) except for the fact that I actually used to work in the alcoholic beverage industry for several years, I even went back to school for it. I lived and breathed and ate and slept alcohol for years. One day over a month ago I took a sip of (not good) wine and a thought popped into my head, “why am I doing this?” I poured it out. Read a book instead. Went to the gym the next morning. Enjoyed my kale stir-fry. All the things we do to keep ourselves healthy...Like the author I also tried twelve-step programs and every form of self-help possible. The only thing that really, truly stuck was asking “why am I doing this?” Why am I doing ALL THE THINGS for my health but I’m still pouring poison into my body? Is this habit helping me reach my best life? Do I really care about the social capital of being “good at wine” so much that I am willing to sabotage my health for it?Finally the answer is no, I’m not. Holly Whitaker will explain further.If you have ever even had an inkling or question around your “relationship” with alcohol, you must read this book. It is certainly geared towards Gen Y, millennial and Gen X career-aged women (ages 18-45), but this is the “truth to power” book we need as a culture. Yes, alcohol is having a tobacco moment. And it’s long overdue.Thank you, Holly, for putting our collective story into such powerful, undeniable language, backed up with science and underlined with your incredibly relatable personal story.-For those confused about the “political” frame up for this book in the first few chapters, and thus compelled to rate the book a low rating based purely on a differing understanding from the author’s of current events, please read Howard Zinn’s “People’s History of the United States,” or watch John Oliver explain the opioid crisis and the Sackler family on the HBO show Last Week Tonight.“Politics,” or rather the historical domination of everything by, power seeking/protecting and privilege of WASP men is a salient underlying factor for many (bad) American habits related to capitalism - smoking, drinking, overweight, pain killers the list goes on - to the detriment of the poor, minorities, women and children.Anyone see the pics of Jeff Bezos hulking around St. Bart’s over the holidays? Asking for a friend.I do believe a more thorough exploration of the issue of exploitation of the poor, the working class, women and minorities (men are including in most of the above groups) for the gross profit of a few men at the top the substance industries would have benefitted this book, but really it’s a separate book (Holly, would you?).Readers, if you are curious to come at this very large, complex (though not really complex) issue from another angle you can try Marion Nestle’s “Food Politics,” or Joseph Stieglitz’s “Globalization and its Discontents.”Or watch Mad Men. Or a Weinstein Brothers or Woody Allen movie... whatever.I mean, I don’t know what you’re into.The more things change the more they stay the same. If you’re pointing at “politics” you’re not really trying.Holly is simply asking everyone to reframe why we all starting getting schlitzed in the first place (or really, why we do any bad/addictive habit - like compulsively check social media) - and her research and experience points to the exploitative capitalism that has historically been the exclusive domain of WASP men.That’s just her, but it’s also a good place to start.-For those of you confused about Holly’s rejection and criticism of 12 Step Programs (of which I share), I point you to page 249-250:Holly has just publicly outed her recovery on her blog (that is, used her real name). “After reading those essays, a friend of mine—a daughter of a man who’d recovered through AA—wrote me a note. It said in effect: /You seem to be in pain, your family seems to be in pain, maybe you should work the Twelve Steps, my father did that, it helped my family./ At this point, I’d been working on myself and towards sobriety for 16 months, and it was going, by all accounts, pretty well. Further, in this recovery, this woman hasn’t once asked me how it was going, what was happening in my world, how I was saving my life, or how she could help. She was a spectator; one who read a few blogposts, interpreted them through her lens...and decided she understood the missing course of action in my f*cked-up life, which led to her unsolicited advice about my recovery.”This is evangelicalism by another name. Have you heard about the 12 Steps (Jesus Christ)? Yep. Doesn’t work for me. Didn’t work for Holly. Doesn’t work for a lot of people. AND THAT’S FINE. Everything Holly posits in this book as a recovery tool DID work for me and it DID work for Holly and countless other women, minorities, or other groups of people (the majority of people in the US) who are not of an white male evangelical bent. You need to do what most makes sense for you, people. Bruce Lee and Kung Fu your life - keep what works, toss what doesn’t. It is criticism but only insomuch as that is her (and many other people’s) reality. It’s a needed criticism so that others like me can realize we have different options, and that may help many people reach a place of recovery FASTER.—As Holly says, there should be a fourth (or fifth, or sixth) position of recovery and that is: “I am human, and being human is a messy affair with lots of twists, turns, and in-betweens.”Exactly.Good luck to everyone wherever they are at using whatever method works for them.
C**T
Read #3
This book has impacted me multiple times throughout my recovery journey. Perhaps, I can relate. What really stood out was her ability to own her situation, and possibly, even more importantly, is how the author brilliantly integrates humor, sarcasm, and wit to portray a very real picture of this highly advertised, and strongly stigmatized pandemic.
L**
Highly recommend
If you’re in recovery or even just a feminist, this is a great book. I didn’t know what I was getting when I first bought it, but I’m looking for ulterior perspectives in recovery from traditional AA, which is a little oppressive but it’s a great read.
S**E
Finished and I liked it, a lot!
I intend to finish this book, I am intrigued by the way alcohol affects the brain and body, creates more anxiety and depression, and destroys everything good, while affecting everyone around the alcoholic, which I am all too familiar with. I have seen the needle and the damage is has done in my family and I have also seen how alcohol abuse has destroyed lives, families and relationships, while the accused stands unabashedly innocent; it is maddening. Holly takes way too much liberty and is too opinionated regarding "Nationalism", "White Supremacy" and Racism..these problems do not exist and far as I am concerned, in this country, and to keep touting that they do is incendiary and inflammatory, it does not help. So I will read the rest and hopefully, Holly will impart more valuable information about how devastating alcohol is to the human brain and body and I hope she touches on how terrorizing it is for those who witness and suffer thru the abuser's abuse. Sign me, "not done yet" and hoping I can help those who need help; being equipped with more info about the effects on the body, may be a message I can relate to others. I hope. And this disease destroys children, the innocent offspring of the alcoholic and does interminable damage for a lifetime. It is the most selfish and disgusting thing to do, to take your own children down your deep dark road of despair and despondency. Get it together and clean it up. The global elite love that we are killing ourselves with drugs and alcohol, that is why it is legal and being legalized, doing the dirty work of those at the top, who think much less of us at the bottom. We are the bottom feeders and they want you drunk, stone, and stupid. Don't feed the beast! I rated the book anyway. I would have rated it higher had she left out the insanity that is the "Women's Movement" now being destroyed by the Left and the reference to domestic terrorists, as in BLM and Antifa, and the LGBTQ, et al community, which has gone off the rails. As women are denounced in favor of gender identity and non sexual orientation, making us into nothingness, it would be best to now concentrate on just how the Left has demoralized women and sent them to the bar to drink it off. So after finishing the book, as I intended to do, I highly recommend it. Holly gives us great insight, and a clear path to victory, and for me, it may give me the language I need to help those I love, who have lost their way. You do not have to be a compulsive drinker to benefit from this book. Sometimes we get sucked in, trying to be the fun person, and not the "Debbie Downer" and we drink to fit in with the alcoholic, I found myself sinking into this vortex. And before reading the book, I said to myself: "This isn't whom I am, I am not a follower, and this feels wrong, and I am drinking too much to fit in."...Not a good idea. So I pulled myself together, put down the craft beer and decided to take a break, and the break felt really good. I hope to be a part of the solution, going forward. Lucky to not have cravings, and loving virgin Pina Coladas, and Bloody Mary's, I think abstinence is best. Good work, Holly, I thoroughly enjoyed your book, even though you hesitate to tell the story about how alcoholism affects everyone and can drive whole families insane. I will share it.
S**O
Incredible book!
This book is life-changing. A necessary read for anyone contemplating abstaining from alcohol.
A**A
Excelente libro
Muy buen libro!
A**A
Incrível! Extremamente necessário
Recomendo fortemente. Foi uma excelente compra, me ajudou demais!Tenho Kindle e tive dúvida se valia mais comprar o físico ou o e-book. Optei pelo físico e foi a melhor escolha q poderia ter feito pq sei que vou ler este livro mais vezes. Ele é recheado com reflexões relevantes demais pra serem lidas uma vez só...
A**I
Excellent
Exellent
A**N
a non preachy guide to busting through the bull that is boozing
I found this book full of useful information, and most of all non judgmental and not preachy. The worst kind of books are the preachy ones "hey all you have to do is yoga, high five yourself, whatever" - this book although admittedly containing privilege, is aware of the fact and explains what works is what works for "you"This book focusses on the way we are marketed to, and how it's easy to leave behind the best hints that matter in order to fit into some construct. It cuts through a lot of bullshit and addresses programs like AA which clearly don't work for everyone because they simply cannot identify with it.It's funny that booze is the only substance where not having it means you have some kind of problem. I have never seen the logic in that. How can you have a disease where the symptoms of that disease are being unable to resist the urge to drink if the cure to the disease is actually the opposite of the disease,It's like saying the cure for cancer is to purposefully stop having cancer ...Anyway not to rant, I found this book honest because I'm not an alcoholic, I don't identify with that term, but I don't like drinking and I'm curious about why it's such a problem to everyone else if you just "don't want a drink"This book addresses a lot of that. Ill definitely e reading more books ok the subject, whilst enjoying a cup of tea, problematically
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