201 Relationship Questions: The Couple's Guide to Building Trust and Emotional Intimacy

Many times people enter a relationship high on the newness and love; euphoria! Then time goes by and couples get comfortable with each other, then major conflict enters. Now what? How is your communication? How do you work as a team to handle conflicts within the boundaries of your personal relationship with each other? Are you walking on eggshells in communication because of your assumption of your love's perspective? Do you truly know your love's perspective?We are still in the first part of the book having only gone through 6 or 7 of the questions together. And what an amazing journey it has been so far. Such basic foundational things about each other we were innocently clueless about. The deep, meaninful conversations that have resulted from such endearing questions. So many "lightbulb moments" when we realize the "whys" to responses and reactions to things we've experienced. No two people are the same and this book is a fabulous guide to help you really get to know your soulmate on such a vulnerable, heartfelt level. Any couple, any age will beneft from this. The foundation of your love and trust will be strengthened simply by getting to know one another; whether you are just starting out or growing as a person and your perspectives are changing.Make no mistake, this takes actual work, but loving realationships take real effort to keep working! You can't just have a tool to help you communicate and get to truly know each other by osmosis ;-) If you make an effort, it will show. If you do not make any effort, it will show as well. Barrie Davenport's writing style is not condescending or threatening at all. She let's you know what to do when you feel "triggered" or "flooded" (feeling intensely about certain topics) by certain questions. She encourages you to be an active listener.Carve some time from your busy schedule for each other, a quiet place, your notebooks/journals and have fun getting to know each other. The things you "do not have time for" are the things you simply aren't making a priority. If you are too busy, readjust your priorities! If you are still too busy or you "can't change anything," then introspect and ask why? Additionally, if you want to give the perosn you love lots of trust, honesty, grace, and be a great listener; you must first work on yourself and give yourself these gifts. You cannot give away that which you do not possess. ;-)TLDR: If you desire to have a meaningful, loving relationship you will need to have trust. The foundation of any relationship takes trust. In order to have trust you need honesty AND communcation. If you want them, you will have to work for them, the harder you work for them, the stronger, bigger and better they will be. And you must work to maintain them forever. If it is forever love you want. :)Sorry for such a long, rambling review; I am so very passionate on communication and love; quite an advocate for it-- that I really cannot recommend this enough. Barrie Davenport has a gift for "getting it" and this is her tool to help you "get it" too. Remember, you can have all the tools in the world, but nothing will be in top shape, maintained or repaired if you don't use your tools. :)

Each of us have the book, one in Chicago and one in San Diego, and it is our go-to end of nightly conversation with one another. We randomly pick a question that both of us answer and it has truly helped build our relationship from afar.

The first few chapters and questions therein were enough to identify and begin to correct near fatal communication and other relationship incompatibilities between myself and my spouse. This work is based on the very helpful "love language" model developed by Dr Gary Chapman (also an enlightening relationship aide). I have always known our communication was poor- that we had blinders when it came to certain areas in dealing with each other that lead to repeating the same conflicts over and over. It got to the point where a few words into a discussion turned argument, I already knew what the angry, damaging outcome would be. This book helped unravel the communication breakdowns and gave us tools to translate our differing styles for each other. Now I know what to say to make sure my wife understands me correctly. It is amazing how perfectly rational and decent people with different perspectives can begin to hate one another purely due to misperceptions based on simple misunderstandings - misunderstandings about basic issues that can persist and fester. This book will address some of the biggest ones - like expressing LOVE to your spouse and asking for LOVE/attention from them, and basic communication styles. What I learned by going through the questions with my wife of almost 20 years was revolutionary and may turn our struggling marriage around. If this works then there is no way I can repay the authors for this blessing. I hope they keep producing more of the same, maybe for parents/kids and other relations like Chapman's books have done. This is powerful and transformative stuff.

I bought this book because my husband really struggles with opening up to me and expressing his negative feelings. We have been really struggling lately because there is almost no communication on his end which causes a lot of stress and frustration on my end. When I introduced this book to him, he was a little turned off to the idea but after we glanced through some questions, he warmed up and we went through the first section last night. It was very eye opening and allowed us to talk to each other in a less-hostile environment. BE AWARE: there are a few typos and mispelled words in there. This doesn't ruin it for me but is a little unprofessional for a published book. Other than that, I highly recommend.

This book really helped my partner and I with our communication. We had been to counseling twice and were at the point of calling it quits after a decade of hurt feelings and anger and disappointments.This book was a last ditch effort. It worked and it helped us listen to each other. At the beginning, we skipped some of the questions that were hot buttons for us and answered the easy ones to get into the groove. Some of the questions we actually sat and wrote each other letters to answer. Then we gave it a few days for the other to read and think about before we talked. That helped. So did keeping an open mind that we may have both been out of line and down right wrong at times.Definitely worth the money

It was an okay book for the price. Some of the questions I felt were kind of repetitive but asked in a different way? It did spark conversations with my boyfriend and I so it was nice but some of it we already knew about each other. I didn't really gain as much as I thought I would from reading the other reviews, I thought I would have got more from it. Given we didn't have any big relationship problems and just wanted to get closer to each other....maybe it is more for people with bigger problems?

I found the questions to be pretty normal, topics you would cover in a normal conversation with your partner. Didn't find it helpful