The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring the Trust, Lust, and Devotion of a Strong Woman Paperback – October 13, 2019

I am a heterosexual, feminine-essenced, married woman. I bought this book for my husband and left it on his nightstand because I feel we need to work on our polarity. (Yes, I know, that was me being in my masculine energy by providing direction and attempting to problem solve. LOL!) I decided to read the book myself, (I resisted dog-earring pages), and, having read a few other books on polarity, I feel this one is the best. Youngblood really understands the full range of feminine-essenced women and why they act the way they do. He clarified for me why I often feel frustrated with things my man does or doesn't do and why sometimes things just feel off to me. My frustration primarily comes from a lack of masculine leadership. Of course, I also have a responsibility when we're together, to relax into my feminine, but I can't do that unless there is someone in the partnership owning the masculine role. That is what Youngblood articulates better than anyone. Feminine expression needs something to orient around, to grasp onto, to guide it. The masculine needs to initiate the polarity. He says more than once, "You may or may not be the problem, but you are the solution". The masculine, as the leader and initiator, is responsible for creating the polarity. The feminine then follows his lead into her feminine.This book is not a right-wing, throwback to a 1950's view of the man as the domineering boss of the family, nor is it about men and women being polarized in the bedroom but gender-neutral in the rest of their lives. For me, the polarity Youngblood proposes is just right - fair to each partner and natural to their true essence.This book is not just about concepts. There is clear and succinct explanation of concepts, but it doesn't stop there. Many scenarios are described and actual directions and exercises for changing both mind and body to transform limp masculine leadership are given. It is also not superficial. It's about deep transformation into being the man a woman wants, the world wants, and what a masculine-essenced man probably wants for himself, but may not be aware of. It is both comprehensive and practical at the same time.If applied, the 'blueprint' and the tools Youngblood describes would, I imagine, support any masculine-essenced man in reaching his potential, not only in relationship with a woman, but in every aspect of his life, and allow him to be a more fulfilled man. While there is a very important chapter on masculine leadership in sex, it is not the focus of the book. A man can lead very well in the bedroom, but if he drops the ball in every other aspect of his life, he is not being a masculine leader. This book is about how men, sometimes unknowingly, aren't in their masculine integrity in their everyday lives, which includes their relationships, and how to correct this.I'd love it if someone would write an analogous book of the same caliber for women. Meanwhile, I really hope my husband reads this book. Wish me luck!

I enjoyed reading this book. It contained some great wisdom for men about women -- how to understand them, how to have an enjoyable relationship with women.My big takeaway from the book is women crave a man's masculine leadership. Sadly, our society has done its best to stamp out masculine leadership (e.g. "toxic masculinity" and all that nonsense).Women have become unhappy without their man exercising masculine leadership, although they themselves could never articulate this. Women's unhappiness causes them to act out and sabotage. Most men today try to placate which just makes it worse. It's not ok to say all this out loud in our PC post-feminist world, so Youngblood bends over backwards to inoculate himself against the PC thought police when he explains again and again this is not a domineering masculinity and purely consensual, lol.A second takeaway is a man should stand tall and learn to be confident in himself and his opinions. So what if your wife disagrees with you? Never apologize for your opinion, which ironically increases her attraction to you.Youngblood says building confidence is like building muscle -- it takes exercise and repetition. He gives several clear actions men can take to practice and change their inner state to have more confidence.I liked his example of crossing the street -- an unconfident, anxious man in a crosswalk sees a car coming and hurries along, not wanting to inconvenience the driver. A confident man not afraid to exist walks at his own pace, does not speed up if he sees a car coming -- after all, he knows he has a right to the crosswalk and is comfortable exercising it. It's not arrogant, just a confidence in existing. Youngblood gives more every day examples like this that men can use to strengthen the confidence of their "inner voice."Some of the quotes I found meaningful:Never ask what she wants and give to her. It's placating and will lead to her holding you in contempt:"So, remember this: asking your woman what she wants and giving it to her is the opposite of Masculine leadership."On the importance of leading a woman:"Tango works the same way. It is a strong lead-follow dance, but you do not force her body to go where you want. Rather, a good lead will use his body to signal an invitation for her to move in a certain way. He signals, then waits and listens for her bodily response. A skilled lead never forces."This is true, and a good point. It would be stronger if Youngblood mentioned that women must choose to submit to the man for this to work. I've done a lot of dancing. It is outstanding training for learning how to lead women strongly. I also learned that women *love* to be led strongly and confidently. Good women dancers get disappointed, sometimes disgusted if you don't lead them strongly. If I were a relationship coach I'd have all my students learn some form of partner dance and get good at it. Great relationship learnings there.Never apologize for your opinions:"Develop the rock-solid belief that your opinions matter and that your wisdom is sound."Youngblood's book shows men how to become a strong, masculine, leading man that women are attracted to and don't act out on. He gives clear examples of how to change your mental state and do it without apology. Also what NOT to do.Although I found a lot of actionable wisdom in the book, it had gaps. Youngblood talks again and again about "strong women" but never defines what he means. When he writes "strong women" I think he means "career feminist women" like high-powered lawyers, corporate types. Yet not all "high powered" women can be made to "relax into their feminine side" which Youngblood claims is 100% the man's responsibility.The book would be more complete if Youngblood would give advice on how to screen out women who are unable or unwilling to "relax into their feminine and follow the masculine." Men are much better off identifying such women and avoiding relationships with them in the first place.

Learning to respond in an understanding way rather than react defensively is the most important takeaway for me. GS covers this and several other valuable insights in practical, no-nonsense terms. Although I don't agree with everything he has to say, I have found most of his advice to be a huge step in the right direction.

Though there are things in this book that do not align with my opinion, I would still recommend reading it. The positive and productive guidance contained in the pages are in my mind equal to years of therapist hopping. It’s very easily digested, and GS does but make empty statements in this book. I respect this man’s work.