Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism Paperback – January 1, 1995

This book not only uses a truly accessible and almost humorous method to introduce BDSM to both newbies and adepts, but also takes a very practical and psychological view on the nature and boundaries of such relationships. It not only advocates healthy (safe, sane, and consensual) power dynamic relationships, but also illustrates the common pitfalls and abuses that can occur if one is not careful and how to identify and fix them.Never have I seen a more "down-to-earth" instruction manual to a healthy BDSM relationship. The first half of the book covers the psychology of a BDSM relationship and how to make a healthy one; both from the dominate and submissive perspectives. Both of these are described in real detail from people's personal experiences in such relationships. The second half of the book covers the mechanics of BDSM, especially S&M (the most physically dangerous and yet often rewarding aspect) and how to safely indulge in "hurting" someone without actually *hurting* them. That point alone makes me give this book 5 stars, as it is very uncommon for texts to be so explicit about that topic or even care about it and the boundaries of it. BDSM is not a license to "abuse" the submissive and anyone who thinks so is simply not a healthy individual. This the the best book I have ever read to show that and how to make this lifestyle healthy and rewarding to all and make sure the submissive knows his/her rights as well as the dominant.Finally, this book is a good reference to more advanced versions of BDSM and is a very good starting point (especially psychologically) for trying such a relationship.Despite all this praise and the fact that I consider this to be one of the best books on the subject; there are other references that you should read as well that take it to the next level (this book includes many of them in an appendix). There are of course others that you can find from those, but honestly, from personal experience, I *highly* recommend reading this text first. It is a very accessible and not a forbidding text on alternative relationships and does not judge one way or another, or in all honestly advocate anything that is not "natural" for the people in any relationship.In short, it is personally the best introductory text on the subject I have ever found.

Thank you so much, Philip and Molly! Finally a book about BDSM, that is comprehensive, funny beyond all the standard jokes, a true literary achievement and not only a listing of techniques, toys and safety procedures.Which does not mean they're not in there. Obviously, all the basic What-Not-To-Dos are covered in depths. But what makes this book outstanding are the chapters on the psychology of pain and submission. Here the authors' experience speaks in every sentence. Serious, deep, theoretical analysis and practical ramifications receive equal attention; I felt I was learning with every page I read.What this book has:- Actual "manuals" how to introduce kinky ideas to partners with zero experience- A realistic outlook on how people start to get into this business- Real-life stories which bear relevance to pretty much anyone- EVERYTHING you need to know about BDSM, at first. Everything beyond belongs into specialised booksWhat this book does NOT feature, thankfully:- Desperate attempts to please all sexual orientations, usually resulting in an illegible mixup of he/she/he-she s and all this- Boring dwellings on irrelevant side-topics that about 1/1000 of people are interested inI think this book is a pure pleasure to read for both subs and doms, even though it obviously holds more advice for doms (which suited me fine). I consider myself a beginner with some experience, by the way.The only slight criticism is the poor printing quality which renders some of the pictures less erotic than I am sure they would otherwise be. By the way, don't be fooled by the number of pages, it comes in textbook format and considerably exceeds most other readers in volume. So if you are exploring BDSM, just shave a few bucks off your next $300 toy shopping and click the "Buy Now" button, will ya?!?

I first stumbled upon this book back in late 1998, and was instantly hooked!SCREW THE ROSES...is, in My opinion, the best primer for anyone curious about, or beginning to explore the Wonderful World Of BDSM. The author's are extremely knowledgeable, experienced, and have an insolent sense of humor (never sounding pedantic, nor "talking down" to their audience).( I learned more on the subject of the BDSM Lifestyle from this primer than any other volume.R.I.P. Philip Miller, and thank you, Sir, for the gifts of your experience and wit.)

Excellent purchase. Very informative and very well written.

Absolutely excellent. Hilariously sarcky and informative. AN excellent book and a truly astounding addition to any contemporary bookshelf!

this was the first book i bought as was recoemended and i have recomended this book since, comes in from the states but delivered in a week, really good really educational, everything is covered .

See some jokes on FetLife? It feels like this is where the humour started. Otherwise, despite a few sections being outdated, it is a great book of stories, ideas and inspiration.

I got this by a recommendation. It is what I expected. Was very slow to arrive.