Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief Kindle Edition

It has taken me quite a long time to put into words how I feel about this book. I've had kind of a dual/parallel experience as I've worked through it. I can relate in many ways to the words that Dr. Jo has written because I have lost two children. My daughter, Jada Soleil, and my son, Jordan Vaughn, were killed by their father, who then committed suicide. The 7-year-anniversary of the worst day of my life is just two weeks away. As I read Bearing the Unbearable, at the end of each chapter, I would close my eyes and think about the different and complex experiences of those who shared their grief. There were some stories that made me cry. There were some stories that felt like they were ripped from my own life. I let each story of love and grief work itself through my body, and I started to realize how my own understanding of MY suffering was expanding and growing.Another interesting experience that I had as I read this book is that I read it out loud to my husband. He asked me to read it to him because he wanted to know more about that most sacred, bereaved Mama part of me. My husband never had the privilege to meet my children. He knows Jada and Jordan through me. He honors and loves my children, and wants to know them as deeply as possible. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore has given us another tool to explore the grief that we both feel over the loss of my babies.I met Joanne less than a year after I lost my children. My mom found her blog online and immediately told me that I had to read her words on child loss. I felt a kindred connection to Dr. Jo as soon as I read about her bereaved Mama love and pain. I immediately reached out to her for help and she has been in my life ever since. The fact that her heart is now written into words that I can read whenever I need to is an immeasurable blessing to me. Joanne gives me permission to feel my pain even though I live in a world that wants to tell me that I should be "over it" by now. Joanne encourages me to really FEEL and not just intellectualize my emotions. Joanne speaks about those terrible feelings of self-hatred, and endless suffering, and she gives me a light to move towards. She both recognizes the loss of my children as the most abnormal experience that a mother could ever walk through, and at the same time, normalizes the extreme emotions swelling through my heart and body every second of every day.To say that I am grateful for this book is an understatement. This book has brought me closer to my children, to my husband, and most importantly, to ME. I will read it again and again, because if I've learned anything, I have learned that grief is not linear. It is full of twists and turns, deep lows, and vibrant highs. Joanne has taught me that deep suffering is the result of deep love, and I love and miss my babies more than I could ever express.

Hands down, the best book on grief. I've read it cover to cover and I'm starting over again. (It's also one of those that you can read any of its many short chapters in any order.)Like so many have mentioned, Dr. Cacciatore writes with heartfelt candor. Because her grief is centered on losing her daughter and I was desperate for help related to *my* specific circumstance (impossible, I know), I was relieved to discover her depth of feeling and understanding of the universality of grief. She speaks with clarity to that truth. Every case study is filled with wisdom that touches my own grief. She speaks with utmost respect about her daughter as well as those people she has helped in her work. I'm so grateful that there is no exploitation whatsoever, no formulas--she acknowledges how unique we are and so of course, we each process grief differently.After my husband passed in January, I was in shock--even though he'd had many medical interventions since I'd known him. As much as I thought I would be prepared, or anticipated what it would be like..... none of my imaginings or thoughts could possibly bring me close to the actuality. We were extremely close. For years, we were together for years nearly 24/7 since we worked together at home. I've never known such a love.I have a long way to go, but I don't feel rushed. I understand fully that the most important and nourishing aspect is to acknowledge and feel this depth of grief that, I now trust, will change to form the bedrock of my continuing love and connection to the love of my life.This book -- truly a Grief Bible -- is the only book that I could pick up in those first traumatic weeks and find comfort. The quotes heading each short chapter are perfect. I have purchased extra copies to give to friends. I wish I had read it before my husband passed. But I'm so grateful now to have found it.Thank you Dr. Cacciatore for acknowledging our humanity is intricately tied to knowing grief. And from that, individually, we become more human. I miss my husband terribly. And still find it difficult to accept he's gone. I cry every day at least twice a day. I am deeply grateful that I am learning how to honor his memory in some way every day. Thank you Dr. Cacciatore.

What makes this book so powerful, and so instructive, is that it simultaneously addresses grief both from the perspective of those who are grieving and from the perspective of those who are in contact with those who are grieving. It is not a hand-book, but instead, is a shining beacon: (i) for the person grieving, what grieving is not and cannot be, namely, something to be overcome or get past or move on from; and (ii) for the person in contact with the person grieving, what is helpful and not helpful viz the grieving person, because their grief is not something you can or should help them to overcome or get past or move on from.As the author (who speaks from her own personal tragedy of losing a child, and from her life’s work of studying grief, counseling those who are grieving, and teaching about grief at the university level), how grief might be embraced truly is an individual journey. For some, the journey might be enriching. For others, the journey might be a descent into inescapable despair. But what this book makes painfully clear: There is no elixir; there are no good works to accomplish as compensation; there is no 12-step program; there is no way around grief--only through it; there is no conquering grief--rather, mustering the courage to surrender to it; and there are no answers to the question "why" and perhaps no reason even to ask "why."As this book drills home: Only by avoiding love might one avoid grief--if one loves, one is destined to grieve.

This book is sublime, overwhelming, ineffable. It's my 'go to' guide. It's consoling, it's everything I feel, every day, every hour, as a bereaved parent. It's a comfort and a blessing. A thousand thanks Dr Joanna Cacciatore for finding the courage and compassion to create this book. If you are learning to live in grief, if you crave for the words to help process the unimaginable; look no further.

I bought this on a recommendation and the gift was loved

Interesting book, difficult subject matter.Prompt arrival. Thank you. M.

Excellent book & service. Thank you.

Excellent book and arrived as expected