On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the GIFT of Nighttime Sleep

We first read & used this book 18 years ago. Two wonderful, well-adjusted, well-nourished daughters later, I can tell you that it definitely works (and all of our friends that have used it rave about it, too). I just bought another copy to give to a newly-expecting friend and felt the need to post this review after reading some of the other reviews."It's nothing but common sense." -- Maybe for a few, but there are a number of things in the book that go against what might seem natural (how to get your baby to sleep without constant soothing; to get your baby to sleep in their own room instead of having them in your room or even in your bed; the proper sleep, eat, play cycle)."It's dangerous!" -- Not in the least, although we didn't follow every last thing in the book."Your baby will be malnourished; they need to eat at night." -- Yes, infants do need to eat at night. Babywise is NOT about attempting to get your baby to sleep through the night, but rather to get to sleep by themselves (with the reassurance that you're there if they really need something -- process described in the book). When it's developmentally appropriate for your baby to sleep through the night, then they will. That could happen at 8 weeks or maybe 12 weeks (also varies with whether you're breastfeeding, using formula or maybe added a touch of cereal to their diet). Whatever. Nothing in the book attempts to force them to sleep longer than they should or go too long without food."It's not for single parents or the LGBQT community." -- I don't remember if the author wrote about some "biblically-correct" family and passed judgment in the book or not, but if you're getting hung up on that you're REALLY missing the point. The baby-raising techniques listed inside are fantastic -- take away what you can/want and ignore the rest. If you must really dismiss everything in life that isn't perfectly tailored to you, then you're going to miss out on a ton of good information. Get over it. This is important for your baby and you'll benefit greatly as well.Okay -- our experiences. For our first child, our doctors & nurses gave us little advise, but specifically advised us against this book. That's weird. Our first daughter struggled to get to sleep and was generally "colicky." After the first month, my wife was at her wits end and finally gave in to trying the book (our friends had recommended it). Two very simple things were paramount for the immediate turnaround in our baby's life: the sleep-eat-play cycle and getting her to fall asleep on her own.Sleep-Eat-Play cycle: for the first year or so, your baby is going to be on a natural ~3-hour cycle in which they sleep, eat & play and then repeat the process 3 hours later. When your baby wakes up, it is happy and playful and you're excited to interact with it again. The natural thing to do is to play right after the nap and then feed them later. No! Feed them immediate upon them waking up, and THEN play. When they're playing, the moment they show a sign of being tired (rubbing the eyes, yawning, etc.), you put them down to nap immediately. The problem with playing first and feeding later is that after feeding & burping, if they cry or are upset you really have no idea what's wrong: could be hungry still, could have gas, could have a full or poopy diaper, could be too hot or cold, could have something pinching them somewhere, or they could just be tired. By the time you figure out what's really wrong, they are most likely "over-tired" and now won't be able to fall asleep until they crash from exhaustion of crying so long (not fun for you or them!). If you feed immediately after the nap, then you know they're not tired or over-tired and you can resolve the problem before they do get tired.Getting them to fall asleep on their own: this one definitely goes against what you THINK is right, as you want to be there for them every time they cry. The book teaches you the method by which you can reassure them that it's okay without them being dependent on you to get to sleep. While it might seem hokey, they really will learn that they're "okay," even if they don't have constant reassurance of that. They learn a tiny bit of independence and self-esteem and you learn a tiny bit about NOT being a helicopter parent and whooshing in at the very first sign of distress. After a full month of doing things wrong (but naturally) with our first daughter, it took a little bit to adjust her to getting to sleep on her own. On the first attempt she cried for about 45 minutes with us going in several times to reassure her. The second time she cried for about 30 minutes. The next time was about 15 minutes, then 10, then 5 and soon she was going to sleep with little to no fuss. Given the 3-hour cycle, this all happened in just one day. We went from bedtime often being a hot mess to about as good as it can get in one day. Amazing! (combination of not allowing her to get over-tired and her being confident enough to sleep on her own.)We used the BabyWise techniques from the get-go on our second daughter and it was also fantastic. I'm happy to say that both of our daughters (now 18 & 16) are extremely well-adjusted as people, neither were ever malnourished (or overweight), both are exceptional students, and most importantly, both are "good people." We didn't follow every last suggestion in the book, but if you follow the major ones correctly you'll get good results. Your baby will be happier and you'll be happier. Your baby will not turn out like a "robot" as some reviewers insist. Just because you don't immediate pander to every last whim your baby thinks it needs (like rocking it to sleep for an hour every night!) doesn't mean your baby won't "feel the love."

I have 5 children now ages 5-15. I followed this book from day 1. I watched friends and my sister follow these principles and noticed how much sweeter and well behaved their kids were compared to those who didn’t. I knew I wanted that for my own family. These principles gave me peace of mind and helped me understand what my babies needed. My babies were quiet, sweet, happy, and predictable. They began sleeping through the night around 8 weeks, some earlier and 1 later. Because the one didn’t sleep through the night as she was supposed to, we were able to take her to our doctor and figure out she had food allergies.It makes me so sad when parents complaint about not getting any sleep. It doesn’t have to be that way!I 1,000% recommend this book to new parents!

Shame on me for writing this review not sooner.I have three grown daughters and incorporated this with all of them. Even with nursing, and no strict schedule, I was able to get them to sleep through the night extremely early on in their lives. They were much happier babies with comfortable and nourished tummies, and so well rested. I was able to have some normalcy in life because of knowing when their naps were and for other reasons.Not only that, the author had so many other wonderful concepts, that we incorporated: such as couch time for the mom/parents, playpen time for the baby,... So many other great things. I even found a babyWise consultant whom I would email on occasion, giving me insights when it was time to change their schedule and more.Nursing Moms, please resist from trying to get so much done while baby is sleeping. Your milk supply will get so low by the end of the day. Your mothers milk tea will do what closing your eyes and resting will do, to keep your milk supply up. And drink tons of water.God bless you and your baby! Also, don’t forget to get babyWise 2 6-12mo), toddler, wise, etc. I have nothing connected to author of book. Just been impacted in a wonderful way.