No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame Kindle Edition

This is less a book about troubleshooting unwanted behavior as it is a book about helping you communicate with your kiddo in a respectful way. The rationale is that if you view and speak to your child with respect, they will become fully functional children. It works. I don't know what happens when a kid turns three, but the insanity drove me to buy this book. I read it in two sittings, and followed the model conversations to the letter. It worked really well. There are no shortcuts or quick fixes, but after a week of respectful parenting, we had a different toddler on our hands.

I decided to give this book 3 stars because while it has some good advice for gentle discipline, it also needs a lot of work. First and foremost, I feel as though the book is haphazardly written. It's disorganized, filled with chapters that don't correlate well with their title and random examples of letters written to her and her responses that are often off the point. Also, Lansbury's writing seems a little "holier than thou" in many instances, something that immediately puts me off. Perfect example: Page 90, where in response to a letter from a parent she writes, "If you were a less empathetic, knowledgeable parent, you'd probably spank her or put her in timeout; but since you are respectful and enlightened, I advise something far more effective: adjust your perspective." What? I mean how judgemental a response is that? I get it, spanking is detrimental to a child's development, it's proven scientifically, time-outs are controversial in their effectiveness, but is it really necessary to make readers - who are obviously struggling parents (that clearly care enough about their raising their children the right way to read parenting books) feel as though they are less-than because they may or may not have followed traditional forms of discipline?On the flip side, I agree with much of Lansbury's point of view, she mentions many parenting basics that most innately feel is right with regard to how to treat and interact with children. But the messages are scrambled, and not well laid out. Parenting is difficult and parents who miraculously find the time to read up on how to discipline their children the right way need clear and concise advice, examples, and pointers.I'd much rather recommend people to read "How Toddlers Thrive" by Tovah Klein or "No-Drama Discipline" by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. Both are written by scholars in the field and both contain better thought out approaches to gentle discipline, well laid out chapters, and quick reference options.

I learned immensely from this book. I have a 4 y.o. boy who struggles hard with the arrival of his baby sister. Because I have worked with kids for years as a teacher, I thought I was prepared for anything parenthood might bring. I was wrong. And lost. Janet restored my confidence, taught me super efficient ways to help and parent my kids and has given me food for thought that I am very appreciative of. Highly recommend for parents who want to be gentle but not pushovers, who believe in talking to kids rather than punishing them.

I listen to Janet Lansbury’s parenting podcast, “Unruffled”, and it is constantly shaping me into a more patient and understanding parent. Her advice is warm, welcoming and full of compassionate feedback for anyone with children. I’ve included a couple photos of some sample pages from the book that really spoke to me… Janet Lansbury is no doubt, a parenting expert and so if you’re looking for a book related to communicating with your toddlers and handling their challenging behavior in a more respectful and understanding way, this book is for you!

I've been reading and re-reading JL's books for over a year now and truly believe her delivery of Magda Gerber & Dr. Emmy Pickler's practices and advice are very refreshing. Nothing resonated more for me that these three concepts: 1. acknowledging. Don't WE as humans yearn for acknowlegement and respect? Not agreement with everything we do or say - but acknowledgement that we are valid, valued, and in some cases in need of a gentle reminder that there is always room for improvement? 2. Preparing/narrating babies & toddlers as to what we are going to do next, whether to their bodies (lie you down, wipe your bottom) or as an activity. My son doesn't like surprises at all. I try my best to always share what will come next. Again, don't we like to know? I especially appreciate Janet's likening it to being an adult unable to do things for oneself, i.e. In a nursing home. 3. Avoiding speaking in "motherese" and third person. Or any other manner that we wouldn't speak to, say, or spouse or friend. We expect kids to act properly, respect us, and react just as we request (or commonly command), but without displaying this behavior ourselves, it adds a layer of avoidable confusion to already conflicted little kids developing normally.

I have read ~75% of this book now, however I can already say that it is a great book. I normally highlight (Kindle version) those parts of a book that I think I will want to come back later and read again (yo know, in order not to have to read the entire book again looking for those key points).With this book I have found that to be somewhere between challenging and completely ineffective, because upon taking the time to meditate on the text, I was highlighting 80% of the book (my standard is 5-10% just in case you were wondering), so I just stopped doing that and figured I would come back later and read it all over again, cause I find it to be that good.

I wish I'd discovered this book sooner. I was struggling to find the right way to teach my little one boundaries without it being a battle, this showed me many ways to understand and deal with my daughter - as soon as I put the methods into practice our relationship improved. Boundaries became much clearer for her to understand and respect once I'd learnt how to explain them to a two year old properly and in a loving way that diffused the potential for conflict. If you're feeling like every day is a battle, the advice in this book will change all that. Like all parenting books, there is sometimes a tendency to give the impression that this method is the only correct way, which can make it feel a little preachy, but honestly, the advice is worth it.

Loved this book, I go back to it over and over and trying to convince my partner to read it too. All you need to know to be a gentle parent it’s here. Easy to read and divided in short chapters.

This book has helped our family so much. Respectful parenting instead of punitive. I have a sensible, behaved, polite, well rounded 4 year old because of this book. Definitely worth buying.

A useful book for any parents or carers who don't like the 'traditional' parenting books. Some really useful chapters about toddler behaviours which enables you to consider how your own reactions further impacts on the situation. A good go to read during developmental milestones

I mostly agree with what Janet has to say and it’s an easy read to explain some toddler thoughts but there are areas I disagree slightly.