Reclaiming Bar/Bat Mitzvah: as a Spiritual Rite of Passage

I use it to support expanding the journey to be more than synagogue skills. It’s a wonderful resource.

Rabbi Milgram literally wrote the book on understanding the connections between Jewish adolescent rites of passage and the most frequently occurring elements of parallel rites of passage in various tribes around the world. Here she offers clear and meaningful ideas in a structured, accessible format. This book is a great resource for families, but also for Jewish clergy and educators.

I envisioned a Bar Mitzvah for my son that was not only uniquely his, but one that helped him find his authentic self Jewishly. This book asked the questions to my son and allowed him to explore those questions ( and his soul ) via a 'vision quest' (we did together), as well through discussion from thoughtful questions in the book; it also gave permission to our congregation to break out of the cookie cutter box of how or what a Bar Mitzvah is "supposed to Be". Our community used the innovative approach for encircling my son and blessing him with his new tallit--so memorable! These stories and spiritual approaches are so easy to implement and inspiring! Wonderful book, there's nothing like it.

Every once in a while, a book comes along that changes the way we think about a long accepted idea. Goldie Milgram challenges us to totally rethink the Bar/Bat Mitzva process. We assume that kids should spend hours of one on one time with tutors perfecting a Torah and Haftarah reading. The chances that they will use that skill again are minimal. Imagine a process of mentoring and tutoring that uses equivalent time to develop a personalized Bar/Bat Mitzva that enlists the unique talents, interests and skills of each child and challenges him/her to put his/her most meaningful self into creating Jewish commitment and identity. You will never think of Bar/Bat Mitzva on the current model again after reading this book.

This is a thorough, meaningful book written to help families get to know themselves and their child. As we did our "homework" suggested from the author, a path has been created for us towards the execution of a truly meaningful Rite of Passage. I am so grateful for this guide.

Through her warm and inviting approach—and the judicious sprinkling of meaningful stories—Rabbi Milgram brings spirit and depth back into what could otherwise become a rote and tiresome process. Parents, students and Bar/Bat Mitzvah educators will find exciting new perspectives, carefully researched, effective and empowering approaches, and a clear path to creating a more meaningful and joyful process, ritual and celebration.