'They Always Said I Would Marry a White Girl': Coming to Grips with Race in America by Moore, Robert M.(March 29, 2007) Paperback

A painful recounting of a young African American man growing up in Philadelphia suburbs where his fanmily is the only ethnic family,and how he came to grips with the problems in his neighborhood and schools. Because of his fair skin coloring, and those of his family, he couldn't understand why he didn't fit in, and yet his cousins who lived nearby, didn't seem to have the same problems. His choices, college, abnd dating were all a result of his experiences. He gives an accurate accounting of race relations in America, especially with interracial dating, and marriage. A family friend, white, who married an African American, feels the final chapter sums up relationships as they still exist today.

This book gave me interesting alternative perspectives on issues related to race, race relations and interpersonal relationships. It is fascinating to ponder why people feel the way they do and the effect of our surroundings on personal tastes related to issues of race: friendships and dating especially. It is an excellent resource for those who want to persue these issues more.

I guess he always knew he would marry a white girl too, that's many black males dream. He just wrote this book for shock value to sell books. I wouldn't dare buy this book, just to hear about it I knew what it was about and had to comment. Leave it to a black man to write about marrying a white woman. Blacks are still brainwashed about white superiority and that white is better. The author is a self-hating black man, who's white-struck, and lusts after white women, that's his preference, but he wants to make it seem like (brainwash) whites make better mates. You pick your mate based on who have something in common with and if your compatible with that person. Race or color don't make a better mate. If I marry a white man or a black man, its going to be because I have something in common with that person, their race or color wont have anything to do with it. Common sense needs to make a comeback. It use to be only marry light-skinned black women, now its marry white. I guess anything lighter or whiter is considered better or more lovable or more marriagble.Some black males hate white males but love their white women. For some black males its almost a sort of revenge against the white male to date their white women. I don't know what's wrong with black males, their more obsessed with dating outside the race, then any other race of men. Maybe it makes them feel like its a piece of freedom being with a white. It just make whites feel even more superior when blacks lust after them. I feel for black women who can't get a black man, the one thing about you that you can't change is the one thing that makes you less attractive to some, even ones who share your color.Interracial dating and having interracial children is an experiment that many tried and failed at. (writer Alice Walker and her jewish husband for instance and others). It can be difficult. Its not about the color that makes a good/bad romance but who you are on the inside and the type of person you like. As I always say if you keep attracting bad ones, maybe you need to change your preference in a person or change who you are, sometimes you attract what you are. If you had bad romances with blacks, same thing could happen with whites, if your the problem. Every black can't be bad, if you keep having bad romances, it gotta be you!White people don't make the perfect mates, white couples are always getting divorces, so what makes them special? Because their white? So let me get this book straight, blacks can't marry each other and get along, but we'll have better marriages and relationships if we marry white? Our ancestors didn't fight for us to end up turning our backs on each other. The white race would never turn on each other like blacks do. Successful black men and women marry outside of their race, because either they can't find a black mate compatible or because marrying white is a status symbol. Some think if they marry whites, they'll endure less racism. You hardly ever see successful whites marrying blacks, because to marry a black is a step down for whites but its considered a step up for blacks to marry white. You will see lower-class whites dating blacks, because lower class whites have nothing to lose, but even if its lower-class, a black still would be proud of that white person. For a black man, having a white woman on their arm is an honor and apart of being successful. For many black men having a white woman makes them feel good about themselves and makes them feel like they have a prize. White women are treated as goddesses in this world and if a black man can get a white woman, something he's told he could never have, it makes him feel like a king. Some black men think their too good for a black woman, but forget their black, when you put down black women, your also putting down yourself because you came from one. I wonder will this ever end. The author is very dumb, he's black, his mother is black, so is his mother a bad woman not to marry because she's black? Black men are taught their women aren't good enough for them, that a white woman is better. White men are taught their women are good enough for them, that's why you hardly see them with a black woman. White men will sleep with a black woman, like they always did dating back to slavery, but many won't marry a black woman. (Blacks were always sex objects to whites...but that's another topic.) Black men and women need to get some pride about themselves. Blacks been taught to treat each other like dogs but treat a white person right, something is wrong with that picture. So many blacks hate themselves they reflect that onto other blacks. You can run away from your blackness, but it'll find you.Many blacks still have that slave mentality where they respect whites but disrespect their own. Respect the white man and white woman but disrespect the black man and black woman. Blacks have always been brainwashed into believing their own people deserve no disrespect. Since slavery time, the black man and black woman relationship has been manipulated, division and fricition was caused, because the white man's goal was to keep them apart, it was known if they stuck together, they would be more powerful and solve many problems they faced....didn't the history of slavery and racism teach blacks anything?There's historic reasons why many black marriages didn't work, dating back to slavery time, when the black family was split up and sold. Black men and women were always separated, so in that time it was the white man's fault why black marriage didn't work. The justice system is taking away many of our black men and the streets are taking our men. I'm not blaming everything on whites but something needs to change in this world to better black men so they can make better husbands. I learned in college in one of my African American studies class that the government won't help black women unless their single, if there's a black man in the house they won't be helped. That's another reason most black couples wont marry, because they won't be helped if they need government assistance, if their married. Also, black men are taught to hit it and quit it. Blacks aren't taught the importance of marriage. Even in the black church the importance of marriage isn't taught anymore. There are many unmarried couples living in sin. Some Black men make great sperm donors but not husbands. There's many reasons why black marriages aren't working and its not all black people's fault, the author should have looked into those and interviewed people, instead of pushing his "white" agenda. But there are black marriages that are working, but no one talks about those ones. It seems like anything about black people got to be negative, especially coming from another black person. I refuse to believe marriage isn't for blacks and that were just good for sex. Blacks complaining about they can't find a good black man or woman, first I feel if you don't treat a black person right, you wont treat a white person right either, and you need to re-evaluate yourself and see why you only attract the bad apples or haven't found a good mate yet. Sometimes you are what you attract....good or bad. Sometimes you could be the problem.Black men tend to be so picky when it comes to choosing a black woman. They want her to be hot and fine and damn near perfect, but they'll get with an average looking white woman and be proud of her because she's white and he finds her whiteness beautiful, but they'll never get with an average looking black woman. I see black guys all the time with average looking, sometimes overweight white women and their so proud, but I know they would never date a black woman that looked like that. Most black men aren't so hot themselves but yet they want hot black women. Give an average black girl a chance, stop dating the same type of woman, and change up, you might find the perfect black mate. Looks are everything, if your going to be with someone, a hell of a lot more should matter then looks. Some black men would pick an ugly, fat white woman to date over a beautiful black woman and you know why. Some black men will treat a white woman like a queen and a black woman like she's nothing, that's very prejudice to put a white person on a higher pedestal then a black. That makes a white woman feel good to have even a black man put on her a higher pedestal then a black woman. Read Malcolm X autobiography about that.A lot of black men like to date white women because they want someone to walk over and take care of them. Black women arent falling for that, you gotta pull your weight with them, but a black man don't with a white woman. A white woman will let a black man have his way as long as he's good in bed. Most black and white couples get together for the wrong reasons. White women want black men for sex and black men want the white woman for status.I'm educated, well-spoken, attractive black woman, but I won't marry a white just because that's expected of me because I'm "successful" I'm not going to fall for that black inferiority/white superiority brainwashing. If you tell blacks their no good long enough, they'll believe it. It's sad we still live in a world where anything good and decent like marriage is for whites and anything bad like non-marriage is for blacks. I wish someone would uplift the black race instead of putting it down and its ashame when its coming from another black person. We talk about prejudice, many blacks are prejudice against other blacks, particularly some black men towards black women. Black men who have white women, usually end up having a black child, someone who comes out looking more black then white, sometimes even a black girl, that's a nightmare for someone who hates black women, but a good payback. How they raise that daughter, I never know. I guess another generation of a self-hating black will be raised.I don't know maybe we should get rid of the black race and just marry whites. A white man predicted over 50 years ago that the black race wouldn't exist one day. Maybe he was right. Blacks attained freedom somewhat in this world but were still white-struck. After all the blood, sweat, and tears blacks put into this country, after all the fighting we did together, now blacks want to turn against each other. We stuck together better when we were fighting for freedom, now we got freedom, we hate each other. Blacks are a messed up race. A race divided against each other can not stand, and so maybe the black race won't exist one day, but you better believe the white race will always exist, because whites won't turn on each other. It's sad that the way blacks are handling their freedom is by running to whites for love and security. The very people who didn't want them to have those things in the first place. It's ashame that blacks can't make each other happy but supposedly can make others happy....that is black on black hatred at its best!If you want a white lover, you have to wait around and see which one will be with you (especially if your a black woman) because you will get your feelings hurt going up to just any white person wanting to date or marry them, because many whites won't be with a black...sleeping with a black....maybe, but dating and marrying a black...a whole different story. Whites love blacks for entertainment purposes...singing, dancing, sports, sex, but not for marriage. For a black woman it is hard to find a mate, black women aren't considered the "preferred" woman like a white woman. Black women are at the bottom of the totem pole for any race of men, even for black males.Black men talk about white prejudice/discrimination but don't talk about black on black prejudice/discrimination or some black males prejudices against black women and how black men discriminate against black women. That's wrong too and need to be addressed!Maybe someone should write a book about love isn't for black males. Maybe black women should be lesbians and forget black males, see how black males like that! I guess black males will really run and be with white women then.Buy this book for either a good laugh or cry.