Motherhood: A Novel

“To go along with what nature demands and to resist it—both are really beautiful—impressive and difficult in their own ways. To battle nature and submit to nature, both feel very worthy. They both seem entirely valuable.”It was interesting reading a book on a woman’s ambivalence about motherhood when becoming a mother is something I’ve never been at all ambivalent about myself. This isn’t the first I’ve read of Heti, so I knew what I was getting myself into: deeply philosophical, intellectual, at times navel-gazing and pretentious exploration of issues both personal and universal.Though I couldn’t relate directly to many of Heti’s thoughts about motherhood, I still felt connected to her fears and anxieties. We all experience these fears and anxieties about life and meaning; there’s so much pressure to get it right in this one shot that we have. Her observations about gender are also really sharp and relatable.I tend to be very self-analytical and conscious of my deeper self, ruminating over everything in my head, so Heti’s navel-gazing doesn’t bother me for the most part. I get it. It’s almost comforting in a way. But Motherhood, unlike her previous book, does suffer from a sense of redundancy—especially in the middle. It grew tiresome at multiple points, and then it would pick back up with her stunning prose and observations.I dig Heti a lot overall though. I like seeing a woman embrace the pretentiousness that men are so often permitted without reproach.

For any woman for whom having children was not a foregone conclusion, this is a good PERSONAL (i.e., idiosyncratic) exploration of that life-determining decision. Heti's insights range from genuinely brilliant to incredibly trite, and it is interesting to note that these extremes come from the same mind. Some parts are SO banal that I wonder if she was mocking her own solipsism. But many other parts are deeply true, and apply to much beyond the issue of children. I was surprised that at the end of her soul-searching she ended up NOT having a kid, since it seemed obvious to me from page 3 that she had her thumb heavily on the scale in favor of kids. It was also painfully apparent that she has absolutely no concept of what having a kid is actually like, and that she has a childishly positive & one-dimensional conception of motherhood. I wonder how many actual mothers she spoke with when "researching" her book, or whether she was just spelunking the depths of her own mind (which just comes down to stewing in your own juices). Still, the parts that ARE brilliant are well worth the price of admission.

I have no words for how much I loathed this book. Finally, I began skimming and, sure enough, NOTHING HAPPENED. This was the most infuriating, self involved navel gazing bit of useless verbiage that I have encountered in forever. The repeated suggestion that woman's lives have no merit without motherhood is offensive, though it would not have been had the issue been portrayed in some compelling way. NO BUENO! I've GOT to stop buying books based on reviews in The New York Times.

Someone said tedious. They were right. This book is just plain terrible. It’s also poorly written. I’ve never encountered more dull, empty, unlikeable characters. And terribly cliche scenes.The protagonist appears to just be a neurotic narcissist with extremely low self esteem about her seemingly shallow yet also poverty ridden life. Which gets us to Miles. I would decide to not have a baby too if that manchild was my partner. Miles appears to be a dumb, deadbeat dad who lives off his partner and can’t afford to pay his child support. I’ve never seen a character who is as boring but also also so unlikeable. Honestly these characters are so bizarre and so terrible, it almost makes you feel bad for them. Until you turn the page.The only positive and likeable character was the child’s mother who seemed decent and thoughtful. And in my view! smart to get her kid away from a guy who hated it and couldn’t afford to take care it and didn’t want to.Why would Heti celebrate a guy who appears to be so negligent and disinterested, I’d argue it’s abuse of the little daughter. Yet she sides with the abuser. Shows her real commitment to feminism or women generally is pretty empty. It’s an offensive book and a real breach of trust by another woman. A thin plot that seems to be more about Heti and less about a true examination of motherhood. She was once such a great writer and she now seems to be be processing her journey through late middle age by putting out immature claptrap. In short, her work has become this: a desperate attempt by a middle aged woman to write teenage diary entries.

This book is, I expect, a very honest representation of the author’s thoughts on the subject over several years. In that respect, it has moments that are relatable and poignant. It is not a good _book_ though - it tells no coherent _story_. I found it frustrating to read.

This is a fascinating autobiographical novel. I thought, mistakenly, it would be a little dry and intellectual for me. It's the exact opposite. Sheila Heti's writing is direct and extraordinarily honest. Her thoughts, uncertainties, perceptions and experiences are totally absorbing, and I'm left wishing we could be friends and could discuss our experiences over coffee! I highly recommend this remarkable book, particularly to other women.

It’s great! A moving picture of a woman dealing with uncertainty and indecision. The form of the novel is kaleidoscopic, offering a range of viewpoints on a single problem. A collection of meditations, the book captures the contradictory quality of human experience.

Sheila Heti does it again.. She stirs the soul, and challenges the mind with the invitation inside her mind.. She evokes empathy from a universal experience that we all have mothers, while giving a fresh perspective on the definition of what it means to mother...

This book follows the thoughtful protagonist through the life-changing decision of whether or not to have a child. I have folded over so many pages, especially in the first 80 pages, which emphasise the fact that society typically asks, ‘when are we having a baby?’ but ‘will I have a baby?’ and ‘do I want one?’ should be more prevalent discussions. It’s interestingly written and sums up a lot of my worries and opinions thoughtfully.I have folded over so many pages in this novel but the argument that stuck with me the most was the issue on asking women or expecting women to have something else planned if not a baby. And that something must be great. If you don’t have something great enough to do instead then you must be a mother. Another thought that really stuck with me was the historical discussion about the fact that men were ends in themselves and women were daughters to try to get rid of. This might be why we feel so urgent in having children and men don’t but it’s okay now, as a woman, you can be an end in yourself. Men do things but women do great things too so you can be an end in yourself rather than a passage for another man. It’s just a bit mind blowing and brilliant in every way. Add it to your compulsory reading list!

As someone who has chosen not to have children I bought this book with some intrigue.Parts of it sung out to me: there are some wonderfully written lines.However I must confess to finding some of it rather self-indulgent, overly flowery and a bit...whingy.I enjoyed it overall and am glad to have read it. But it spoke more about the author's personal woes than anything else.

Save your money. Self indulgent, self obsessed, middle-class person writes hundreds of pages of diary entries about herself and her boyfriend and calls it a novel. Tedious af.

I was interested to read this book. The pros and cons of having kids is something that should be discussed a lot more. Too often it’s just seen as what women must do in our society and how life is never the same again is not given enough thought.However, I have struggled to get through the book. I couldn’t stand the stream of consciousness writing and the way she asks questions and flips a coin. I found myself skipping over these parts. An essay in a newspaper or magazine would have been a better medium for this topic.

Motherhood is a lyrical mediation on whether or not to become a mother - a deeply personal decision that society routinely puts its two cents in. The narrator (who may or may not be Heti?) struggles with her own uncertainty about motherhood in the face of society's relentless commentary, and wrestles with the relationship between (non-)motherhood and writing. Though some may criticize the book for navel-gazing, I think that feature of the book is an honest reflection of the ambivalence many contemporary women feel towards motherhood.