The Attachment Effect: Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives Paperback – June 5, 2018

I have read many self help/psych books in my day. My experience is that they are not terribly well written and I usually lose some interest midway and not because of the topic.I was skeptical that it was written by a journalist vs a psychologist. When in fact I now realize THIS is the reason why it is so readable and well done. Peter Lovenheim has a more comprehensive and broader view of the topic than someone who has been studying it for their career. He drew me in with the forward and had me hooked for most of the book. Granted there are a couple chapters that just didn't interest me as much, but overall, I would highly encourage buying this book. I have already recommended to friends and bought 2 more copies for others to enjoy. Super helpful. Wish I had this 30 yrs ago!!!

This book should be read by all. Attachment is key. Lovenheim has made the book completely accessible to readers who may have no grounding in the subject. His narrative style is poignant and personal which is important as he himself analyses his own understanding of attachment and can then relate it to all different areas of life. As a psychoanalyst who holds a doctorate in Islamic literature, I have long argued that the violence we are witnessing coming out of the Arab and Non-Arab Muslim world has a lot to do with attachment issues and the relationship to the Mother. The author does not specifically deal with this subject directly yet he does demonstrate how attachment is there functioning behind the scenes in our relationship to religion. He does connect the dots extremely well with regard to violence in terms of disrupted attachment also called traumatic bonding. I can not recommend this book enough. I hope this book is widely read and I urge the publishing house to consider it being translated into Arabic, Urdu, Pashto, Dari and Persian - for starters. It is timely and relevant. Bravo a gap has been filled on the landscape concerning educating the public with regard to maternal attachment and its enormous influence on our lives.

Recently, I heard some lectures about attachment theory that put a new perspective on my own life – helping to explain certain things that had been a puzzle to me since childhood. I was eager to learn more about it and decided to try Peter Lovenheim’s book. It was an effortless and interesting read. The author creates a compelling story about his own investigation into the theory, sketching brief but realistic anecdotes about interactions with people in various roles such as therapists, employees, romantic partners, parents, politicians and religious devotees. For some reason, the author chooses to use the terms “anxious,” “avoidant” and “disorganized” to refer to the three insecure adult attachment classes. Apparently, more typical terminology for these are, “anxious-preoccupied,” “dismissive-avoidant” and “fearful-avoidant,” so this was a bit confusing. Only a few pages are devoted to the fearful-avoidant category of attachment. A link to a simple test for readers to discover their own style is offered, but the test is quite superficial and is likely a poor substitute for the Adult Attachment Interview (AAI), which is also described in the book. I wonder whether exposure to the form of the AAI could reduce the effectiveness of the interview, since it is partly designed to "surprise the unconscious." Though I found the book overly simplistic at times, it was still instructive. The warmth and humanity of the author shines through.

As a late-in-life grad student who has a degree in Clinical Psychology, and now working on an MS in Clinical Mental Health counseling, I needed this for university. However, this book is not an academic read, as in university texts or peer-reviewed journals; it will undoubtedly be of interest to many. It seems that Freud was correct: we are a product of our earliest relationships. However, he was wrong on that "penis-envy" nonsense, as far as the masses are concerned.Great book; I know I will refer to and cite it often.

I learned so much from this book! I think everyone can benefit from this book. Especially those in relationships trying to understand why the harder they work on things the farther they end up from their spouse or SO. It could all be as simple as your attachment style. And understanding the other's attachment style. It's simple. Not a bunch of psycho detail. Very down to earth, easy read, yet got so much from it.

I hadn’t heard of attachment theory prior to reading this book. This book explains the theory with stories about the author and people he interacts with. It is an interesting read that gives you a different lens to view relationships thru.

Super accessible read on attachment theory, the science and practical applications based on decades of research in many fields and countries. Basically, there are four attachment types—secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized—that are the product of how we are cared for in our first couple of years. And our attachment style determines how we relate to others, how well we are able to connect (or not) and stay connected to others in romance or friendship, how we relate to our coworkers, in sports, even who become our politicians, and the broader world. Highly recommend!

Peter Lovenheim's book, The Attachment Effect, is a must read for anyone interested in a successful, long term relationship. It is both brilliant and accessible. I wish I had read a book like this decades ago, it would have given me a much better understanding of what creates a workable connection between people. Read it....you will not be disappointed.

Written from an experiential perspective. I quite like this read. Provides accurate information even though many will think it is basic. There is a lot of information in this book, but it is easy to read. A book on attachment could be pretty heavy and deep, as some that I have read. This actually gives me pause to reflect on my own experiences, and at the same time, this is providing me with a framework and some concepts I’ll be able to share with clients. I’m half way through, and still enjoying it.

This book explains so much for me having been bereaved as a young child

It is worth the read!

Good to help understand attachment styles but offers no help to someone looking for actual help