Conquering Darkness: Memoir of the Serial Killer's Wife Paperback – November 2, 2013

I have complex and very strong feelings about this book, which I guess it means it was a good book, because it got to me and it really made me think.I have to admit, the subject matter is what pulled me in. Here was a unique perspective that cannot be duplicated. When else will you ever be able to read a first-hand account of what it was like to live with a budding psychopath? I am very curious about the developmental aspect of life - what things shape us, form us and make us the person we are today? How does a person become a serial killer? What goes on in their head? I figured I might learn a little bit about that. It didn't take me long to see the factors that cultivated the mindset, and from there it got a little cringy.The story is incredibly tragic, actually. The relationship between the author and her ex-husband/serial killer/serial rapist reminded me a lot of the relationship between the two inmates in Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood." There are just some people who, when put together, bring out the absolute worst in each other. The one person's flaws and weaknesses play on the other's and no good ever comes of that.The one thing I really took away from this book is something I would like to tell every mother and daughter I know. Mothers, have conversations with your daughters about the difference between "real life" and "idealism." Idealism breeds denial and makes you ill-prepared for reality. Idealism forces people into unrealistic situations, unrealistic relationships, and makes unrealistic demands upon others. I feel like idealism is a form of denial that women in particular are fond of, and if it's not nipped in the bud, it can have dire consequences down the road. Okay, someone take the soapbox away from me! See, I told you this book brought out strong feelings in me!The story itself has a diary-like feel to it. I felt like I was reading something that wasn't exactly supposed to be read by the public, and I have mixed feelings about that. On one hand, it allowed the author to record her thoughts in as real and as raw form as possible. On the other hand, it felt too much like it was a private journal. Sometimes I was confused by who was speaking or I felt like pieces of conversations were missing. I didn't always get a full portrait of the characters, so I didn't have a frame of reference at times. It didn't flow from Point A to Point B - it skipped around a bit, so be forewarned about that. I really got the feeling that she wrote this for herself and maybe it was never meant to be published, but maybe someone told her "You should turn this into a book!" and then rushed it to publication. It is in need of a serious edit before it can be considered ready for prime-time. I feel weird about even writing a review, knowing this is a memoir and not fiction, but I can't not say something. The bottom line: I can't imagine someone reading this and not having a strong reaction one way or another about it. It is a very disturbing book.

First I will say that I think Alice Swafford is very courageous for making an attempt to tell her story. With that being said, I found the book to be very confusing. The order in which things were written was very strange. She made an attempt to start the book from a present stand point and then go back in the past to tell the story of how she and her ex-husband crossed paths, had a child, and got married, while she lived in the dark and didn't know he was killing prostitutes. I have seen this technique used in many books before with great success, but with this memoir, that technique fails miserably and there is no smooth flow for the reader to follow. The story is too choppy.There seemed to be gaps in between certain lines in her story. I had to re-read pages to see if I accidentally skipped over something because I could not figure out why certain things were going on...it was weird. Ms. Alice is in her late 50s and uses the more than annoying, teeny-bopper, overly used text term "OMG" (Oh my God) so many times, I lost count (7x just between two pages, geesh). Seriously? I did not get a feel for her. While yes, the woman was married to a serial killer, I don't feel anything for her in this book. No sadness, no pity--nothing. I just felt no connection to her and her plight.She never explains being deeply in love with him which could have been used as an excuse for why she wasn't suspicious of his behavior. Even during their dating period, she was leery of him. She never painted him as overly charming, or herself as overly charmed by him. Besides wanting her child (the child they had together) to have a real father, I don't see the attraction or connection between the two. She never really explains how she was "in the dark" about his behaviors. The man was giving her STDs on a continuous basis from sleeping with prostitutes. Your genitals are on fire and you are still in the dark? Hellooo!!! At least suspect infidelity! Alice Swafford is just as strange as her ex-husband, William Choyce.All we know about William is that he came from a seemingly "good home" and is this "mysterious" serial killer who likes hardcore bondage porn. I don't think a preference for it makes anyone predisposed to being a serial killer though. He had an abusive mother who is blamed for his behavior. I know this is HER story, but from her book, she never gets into detail about his life that led him up to killing. Aaarrggh!! I could go on and on. Basically, good for her for releasing a book if it helps her overcome some things. She had issues waaay before him, those issues continued and probably were exacerbated by being with him, and I am glad that I only payed less than 3 bucks for this on Kindle.

okay, very interesting but quite alot of slang used, words /lanuage im noyt familiar with.interesting subject though.also takes a very long time for anything to happen.

It is difficult to criticise this book, because the author's pain seeps through in almost every sentence. And that is the problem with it. She has no distance and therefore no perspective. I sympathise with her pain and understand her need to write the book, but feel she should have taken on a ghost-writer to enable the narrative to be less encumbered by her rage.