Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage

Gary Thomas has a way of writing that causes you to sit up and take note. For me in my marriage, Cherished caused to look seriously at how apathetic I had become, and I definitely was not cherishing my wife.This book is not a magic wand. There is no guarantee your spouse will respond. However, it isn't really about your spouse it is about what God says about your spouse that counts.Gary Thomas says- ...when we cherish a person, we will put time, thought and effort into honouring, showcasing, and protecting them. Cultivating a cherishing attitude toward your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically.

A very insightful and helpful read. Have already applied some of the suggestions- and they work!

Every couple should read this

Great book. Thank you.Barbara

Wayne MSacred marriage and sacred parenting were formative books for me, which I have often recommended to others. I will admit to not keeping up with many of Gary’s other writings over the intervening years except reconnecting with him occasionally on Twitter and more recently through his blog posts.Over the last few months I have particularly enjoyed Gary’s blog posts and the announcement of this new book Cherish, I began to anticipate with growing interest. I have to state here that I was given a free prepublication pdf copy to enjoy and to review.Gary’s style of writing is simple, straightforward, engaging and most importantly thought provoking. Whilst the production of the book is clearly for the American market, which makes the chapters shorter. Therefore you do not get that tedious feeling of ploughing through the material, even when it s excellent, that is so common from UK publishers.Now the concept of cherishing ones spouse is not only for Americans, but also rather for all of us who are married wherever we happen to live. In fact it would apply to all of our relationships, why just stop at marriage, but since marriage is the most important and most intimate of those relationships, it should definitely begin there.The practical examples, the chapter summaries and the questions for discussion and reflection are worth their weight in gold. I found this cherishing concept at first intriguing and then very convicting, as you progress through the book, I kept meeting instances in my own nearly twenty years of marriage experience that were highly enlightening to me personally.It brought out a number of instances where I had failed as a husband and I wasn’t even in the slightest aware of it. Sadly it also highlighted issues that are current in our relationship that really need the soothe balm of cherish, described by Gary.For example after having read half of the book I had one of those rare occasions, where I raised my voice to my wife the next day. Normally I would have felt self justified in my annoyance, but on this occasion I very quickly felt convicted by my Behaviour. So shortly a little later I had to take my oldest son out shopping, where I stopped and got my wife some flowers to say sorry. So what I am saying folks is the practical application in the book works. The chapter on cherishing words was certainly written for me.What’s clear from the book with all of its examples from real marriages is that cherishing is an intentional activity that takes thought and time to pursue. But equally what is also clear from the book that such intention is more than worth the effort.This is a very rewarding book to read, because its subject matter is intensely positive being other centred. If you only begin to practice some ten- percent of the strategies contained therein your marriage will be rewarded and cherished God willing for many years to come.

I enjoyed this book because although I had been married for 52 years with my first wife who died of cancer I was convinced that I had not done a really good job of being her husband. The word cherish was something that I had been thinking about because of my then up coming marriage to my wonderful Helen and I wanted to be a better Husband to her than I had been to my first wife Sandy. Helen and I have been married for around 14 months now and I am a very blessed man to have her as my wife. I am trying to cherish her so that she knows that she is loved and appreciated.

When you read this, you really get an understanding of what it means to cherish your spouse. It opens a new angle on Love and how to make your partner feel loved always.

Let me first say that I believe God is using Gary Thomas to greatly impact many people who are struggling in their relationship with God and coincidentally with their spouse. I have read many of Gary's books and find his writing style very easy to read with a healthy dose of scriptural references. He uses anecdotal stories that are concise and to the point such that the brief interludes are very effective at conveying his message. In particular, I find it very impactful when he uses experiences from his own marriage with Lisa to convey a thought. Being very self-centered myself, it's very helpful to hear Gary express empathy for his wife's viewpoints on the various matters.My first exposure to Gary's writing was a result of some very difficult times. After 33 years in a marriage that had grown very cold and generally lifeless, I decided to file for a divorce thinking that I could find joy from a "better" partner. My daughter responded by giving me a copy of Gary's book "Sacred Marriage" which I quickly stowed away for another day. I decided to postpone the divorce, but my heart was certainly not in the right place. Several months later I did read "Sacred Marriage" and for the first time I began to understand what God was trying to accomplish in me through my marriage. I subsequently read the book a second time and also read his follow up book "Lifelong Love." Both of those books (and associated seminars) were extremely instrumental in renewing my marriage relationship beyond my imagination and in leading me to my subsequent Baptism. Of course, none of my growth would have been possible without the inner workings of the Holy Spirit.One thing I have come to realize is that I had allowed myself to develop "worldly" views of marriage and of women in general. And in dealing with my addictive habits, I learned the meaning of Romans 12:2 and it's critical importance in winning the spiritual battles. And the best means to "renew my mind" is to read books that apply biblical principles to create a Godly vision of marriage and the opposite sex. I have found that all of Gary's books provide that Godly vision so that I now have a better understanding what to seek. So if you are a Christian, I believe it is critical to be reading Gary's or similar books to replace the worldly views with a clear understanding of God's intended design.I view "Sacred Marriage" as the baseline book for understanding God's intent for marriage and "Lifelong Love" as a very powerful building block on the message of sacrificial love. After reading "Cherish," I now have a much better understanding of the "active" part of a loving relationship. Many of us promised to "love and cherish" our spouses, but I frankly had no clue what was truly involved in cherishing someone to this degree.Regarding the layout of the book, I very much like how Gary summarizes the key points at the end of each chapter. This helps to ensure that I captured the critical messages that Gary was trying to convey. Each chapter also ends with pertinent "Questions for discussion and reflection" that we will use as "devotionals" on our date night. If there is just one thing I could recommend to other married couples, it would be to use Gary's books as a means to initiate "Godly" discussions so that both spouses grow in their relationship with God and subsequently with each other. And I find "Cherish" to be a very powerful book to that end.

Just finished it! Great great book for married people or looking to get married.My friend recommended me and I will recommend to my friends!

I am so glad I read this book just after we got married - it set me up with the mindset and habits to Cherish my husband instead of criticize him. Of course, nobody is perfect and I can't say I never criticize or get irritated with him, but this book made the BIGGEST impact on the way I look at him and appreciate him and show him love. The content that Gary Thomas goes through helps you focus on the good qualities in your spouse and really leads you to enjoy their company and make them feel loved, and this of course makes you happier with your marriage and feel more loved.I HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading this if you are struggling in your marriage, or if you are newly married and want to set yourself up for a happy marriage!!!

I really liked the encouragement offered to spouses that were struggling in their marriage, and the absolute emphasis on being converted by the gospel and the power and hope this provides anyone who looks to Christ!