Loving an Alien: How does it feel to fall for a foreigner?

Even though I am an American married to an American, my husband was raised in the South (always with a capital S!) while my parents, who were born & bred in cold, northern states, moved us around from Michigan to New York to DC, so I felt that in some ways that I could relate to the feelings of "help, I married an alien!" that are expressed in several stories. An excellent, informative and poignantly honest collection of "how we met across the world" stories. Living in Brazil for 4.5 years has also helped my understanding of cultural differences, and to appreciate the good and learn to ignore the bad! My husband and I have traveled to many different parts of the world, incl Suceava & Brasov, Vienna, and the Cotswolds in the UK, so it was fun to read about people from those countries & have a small idea of their world. Thank you, Angela, for taking the time to write this wonderful work!

A fellow expat who's in a cross-cultural marriage recommended this book to me; being in a cross-cultural marriage myself, I was interested in reading about the experiences of others who are also in cross-cultural marriages. This book is in a question-and-answer format, which makes it an easy read.I do appreciate learning about a variety of different cultures around the world through the experiences of these women who've married men from other cultures. It was fascinating to learn about Denmark, Vienna, Rwanda, Sri Lanka, and a number of other places around the world.However, I feel like the selection of interviewees was a bit limited. I know this sounds strange, given that this book contains more than two dozen interviews. But the vast majority of interviewees come from liberal perspectives, often with liberal ideas about marriage. For example, more than a few of the women in this book spoke of how they lived with their partners and then got married. Perhaps this is because of the author's particular social network, but I do think it would have added more breadth to the book it the author made an attempt to include more couples who hold traditional perspectives toward life and marriage. I also felt that the author could have dug a bit deeper in her interviews, to explore some of the deeper issues of marriage, such as how couples deal with conflict.One of the things I did notice was that in many of the relationships where the couple lived together before getting married, there seemed to not be very much romance involved in the decision to get married...no grand proposals, no romantic dinners, just "Let's get married." I know I'm generalizing here, but this is the impression I got from reading this book. This made me sad, because I think getting engaged should be one of the most exciting moments in one's life - I know it was for me!Despite these shortcomings, I do recommend this book for anyone who wants to know more about what cross-cultural marriages are like, and for those who want to learn more about different cultures from around the world.

This book a set of interviews of couples that fell itin love with people from different backgrounds. The stories are curious to read but lack any depth. To me, they felt like discussions between strangers you might overhear on a long bus ride when people chat because they have nothing else to do. There was no discussion of real conflicts and complications, emotions, or overcoming difficulties or bias.Ali Julia review

Interesting set of love stories and not only, gives an insight into what it's like to be married with someone from a different culture, nationality and/ or race and the challenges that come with that.What I found interesting was that no matter where you come from, people are all the same, even more, men seem to have the same "faults", women too, I suppose.The book takes us to all these different countries and continents, it's a nice collection of international stories, it teaches us about customs, and the way people live and think. It also shows us how some families have the strength and the curiosity to live in all these places, to grow and to learn from such a vast experience.We all live our own little life/ love story, this book brings the world together into a cute atlas of love, challenge and cultural diversity.

It is an awesome book. It gives great insights for anyone who is in a long distance relationship.

Great book. Helpful for any marriage----from another background or not.Y

First of all, what a great idea to write a book that allows us to getto know people so intimately. The author Angela Nicoara has clearlyhas spent a lot of time and effort working on this. To interview somany women at such length and in such depth must have been a tiringprocess. But, at the same time, the results are very interesting, so Igive her a standing ovation for her patience and enthusiasm.I tried to approach ‘Loving an Alien’ from a feminist perspective, andwas amazed by the details revealed in the interviews. Likewise, thewomen’s willingness to share a favorite​ recipe reflects thesisterhood between strangers ready to impart their skills andknowledge - in this case, of national cuisine. It gives you a warmfeeling and validates female friendship, at its best!‘Loving an Alien’ is also is a way to dive into cross-culturalsociety. Each story starts with just two people, but soon widens inscope to include, for example, their kids, and an extended familylearns to cope with differences in nationality, culture, andgeography.Two people can have very different perspectives and expectations,which can help, or hurt, the other either side. What makes sense toone can seem like nonsense to the other.So, I appreciate the author’s approach, because her interviews showhow two ‘aliens’ can share a home in any land, and this makes the booka very enjoyable read.

Being myself married to "an alien", I was interested to learn about/from similar experiences. I discovered a lot of wisdom in the stories of the women interviewed by the author. It made me feel part of a larger family.Also, being myself Romanian living abroad connected me even more with the author and her story, shared at the end of the book.Nice and flowing read, as well as a collection of international cooking recipes that I look forward trying!Thank you, Angela!

Have you ever sat in a coffee shop where the conversation on the next table is just so riveting you can't help but eavesdrop? That’s how this book felt to me. If you have (or had, or aspire to) a relationship that crosses continents and cultures, prepare to have your heartstrings twanged.The question-and-answer approach could not be simpler or more effective. There’s no probing for salacious gossip in Angela Nicoara’s questions. They’re open, friendly and give space for the women to open up in a way that engages the reader in a series of intimate conversations. Sometimes, there’s nothing more powerful than just letting people tell their own stories. And Loving An Alien does that superbly.I like the way Angela doesn’t set out to prove a point, but lets connecting threads weave their own pattern as the stories unfold. There are some wonderfully romantic moments, and many others of frustration, heartache, discovery and comedy.Which heartstrings end up getting twanged will depend on your own experiences, but I found this delightful book reassuring, entertaining and refreshing, if sometimes a bit scary. But as Angela Nicoara repeats often … Vive le difference!

This was an interesting concept and format for a book. Interview style chapters with the female half of international couples. The couples are all known to the author and therefore there is a good deal of warmth and no little insight during the exchanges. I feel that the structure of the interviews may have been a little too rigid and that the author could have 'gone with the flow' of the interview sometimes rather than return to the same concluding questions. Also it would have been interesting to have had some male perspective. As the male half of an international couple I am anxious to hear the pros and cons of partnering across borders from the man's point of view.