Marry Me: A Romance

This book is titled "Marry Me: A Romance," but it should be titled "Marry Me: Anatomy of an Affair." It's 1962. Jerry and Ruth are married with three children. Richard and Sally are married with three children. They live rich, privileged, affluent lives in a rich, privileged and affluent Connecticut town. Jerry and Sally have an affair. The first two chapters detail that affair--mostly lots of sex in lots of places. And angst. Lots of angst, too. Then we see the affair through the eyes of Ruth. And then Richard. And then...well, no spoilers here.While it is tedious in many parts, author John Updike does a brilliant job of capturing each character's emotions--from the giddiness of new love (especially illicit love) to the hurt, anger and betrayal that results. Because of the extraordinary writing, the reader can sympathize with each character.Updike has long been known for exploring the emotional and sexual discord of 30-somethings living in the miasma of 1960s American suburbia. That was when fathers worked, mothers stayed home and boredom struck. Boredom (and money)=trouble. It's a quick read and an interesting trip to a place that no longer exists.

This book is remindful of the author's earlier "Couples," which too involved adulterous relations among suburban couples. However, the focus of this book is far more narrow involving only two families and is much more dialog intensive giving a clearer window into the full range of emotions experienced by these people.Jerry and Ruth Conant and Richard and Sally Mathias are thirty-something's with three children in each family. The focus of the book is the affair of Jerry and Sally. At times they seem certain of their love and eventual marriage. Yet others are involved for whom genuine affections exist and doubts continually arise, not only as to practicalities but also as to understanding their true and long-term feelings. Some of the scenes are lengthy and it is fair to say can be tedious. The dialog seems endless and repetitious, constantly reviewing the same points and feelings - and it all seems very realistic. The dialog really draws the reader into their dilemma.The book is really quite insightful concerning marriage in so far as it goes, but it is inconclusive. What to do when a seemingly better marital fit arises after many years is a subject far larger than one novel can solve.

I enjoyed the exploration of human emotions and the confusion they cause. Jerry’s confusion about who to love seemed to leave him alone. Maybe that is how we all live?

John Updike is one of the more thoughtful writers. He includes every aspect of human behavior and feeling in each of his characters. "Mary Me" is a perfect example of his art. I've read it three times and every time found something new to stop and ponder. Everyone should read this book at least once.

I really enjoyed this novel. The only part I did not like was the last chapter where three alternate endings were provided. I would rather have had a clear ending, but overall it was an emotional and relatable story for anyone who's ever been in a relationship. I particularly enjoyed Updike's attention to detail as far as the inner workings of his characters were concerned.

SPOILER ALET John Updike's "Marry Me: A Romance" was a novel of compelling and complex love among two unfaithful couples. The title of the novel was very fitting due to the fact that at the end, when Jerry leaves with Sally to go to Wyoming (the state they always talked about running off to) he asks her in the train station "Marry me?" thus bringing the whole plot to a "full circle". Though the ending matched the title nicely, I still was not thrilled with its overall inability to address the key questions the author provokes within the reader. Firstly, the ending was confusing because originally, Updike paints an image of Jerry with Ruth in their lives after the Jerry-Sally scandal. However, then Updike brings the reader to a scene with Jerry and Sally together in a train station in Wyoming, about to start their new life together. I perceived this as Jerry originally chose to stay with Ruth but ultimately changed his mind and chose a life with Sally. Also, the ending does not recognize Richard's life once Sally has left him (with or without Jerry being with her). I as a reader felt that Richard's character was crucial to the plot; however, often times his character was diminished for the sake of Jerry and Sally's relationship to be more fully exposed. Finally, the final question "Marry me?" is left unanswered; therefore leaving a feeling of emptiness once the story-line has ended. Despite the ending of the novel, there were moments of pure excitement that kept the reader from putting the book down. For example, when Ruth, Jerry, Richard and Sally talk openly about their twisted relationships, I, as a reader, was intrigued. I wanted to know who Jerry was going to choose, how the woman he did not choose would react and how Richard was going to live a life without his love, Sally. The questions addressed, such as if Jerry will marry Sally if he leaves Ruth, kept me reading to find the answers (which did not come until the final chapter of the book). Overall, Updike kept the reader interested throughout the novel, making "Marry Me: A Romance" an enjoyable novel to read. However, his inability to properly end the novel, in some way soiled what would have been a fantastic read for all interested in a complex story of true love.

john updike, i love you!!!

After reading the latest excellent biography of Updike, I decided to read a couple of his early adultery novels that I'd missed. All I could think the whole way through was how "sophomoric." The other one, "Couples" is reading much better.

I found the main characters in this book self-centred and unlikeable. The Love affair between Jerry and Sally failed to inspire any sympathy from me and their posturing despite the chaos and heartbreak they were causing made me wonder why anyone would want them. The affair between Ruth and Richard seemed far more grown up . I didn't like the ending but have to admit it was typical of Jerry.

Updike writes in another consciousness. Rooted in and yet removed from life. His command of language is total and awe inspiring. Bravo!

Great book

Published in 1975 but set in 1961, this is a tale of adultery. Jerry and Sally are having a blissful, difficult-to-organise affair. Jerry is married to Ruth, and Sally is married to Richard. Unbeknownst to Sally and Jerry, Ruth and Richard have had an affair, which Ruth ended. She found it quite satisfactory in many ways. Through him, she learnt that sexuality could be simpler and more rewarding than with the highly conflicted Jerry, who not only suffers from asthma and a fear of death. His brand of Lutheran Christianity hobbles straightforward thinking. Richard thinks Jerry should see a psychiatrist. Ruth says he never would. Each couple has three children.The Sally/Jerry affair becomes known, and Ruth and Richard cope with it in their own ways. Both are portrayed as more practical than Sally and Jerry: Richard takes a more classically male stance, while Ruth has the strength to insist that no decision be made till the end of summer. Updike is good at describing nuances of character and thought. At play are not only the world views of each person but thoughts of what will happen to the children, how each will live with him/herself regardless of what happens, the intense romantic fascination with “the other” and the legal-moral complex of their times.Jerry and Sally come out of this less well than Ruth and Richard. A grand passion must necessarily face the trauma of reality and naivety must necessarily become hard-won wisdom. We’re not entirely certain of the outcome: Updike ends with a few alternative scenarios as other authors have done, which serve to point out that in all our lives, so much depends on decisions taken, often on a whim. Masterful writing.

not Updike's best but still a reasonable assessment of the interaction between two couples and the games that are played