What I Wish You Knew: Growing up neurodivergent and the journey after diagnosis. Paperback – 2 Oct. 2023

I bought this book to be more educated about the subject and couldn't put it down, reading it through cover to cover. It's written by the author as a young girl and then as an adult, and switches between the two easily. Parts are heartbreaking to read, though the author's resilience and grit shines through. I identified with so much of this it's untrue.An absolutely wonderful read and should be on the list of everyone who wants to know just what it's like to be a person with autism and ADHD, in order to understand what their child/friend/colleague has been through or is going through.

As a person who has recently gone through an autism and ADHD diagnosis process I found this book invaluable. The powerful account of lived experience from the perspective both a girl trying their hardest to be the person everyone wants her to be in spite of her differences, and from the adult going through the diagnosis process and the emotional turmoil that brings, to coming out the other side and finding grace and forgiveness for her child self, and the courage and will to advocate for herself and others. Reading this book was a key part of that healing and forgiveness process for myself, too, and provides a fantastic resource for those embarking on the journey of revisiting your past traumas and triumphs with a new perspective.I wholeheartedly recommend this for anyone who discovered their neurodivergence later in life, or for anyone looking to discover more about how to support a neurodivergent loved one in a positive and affirming way. It is also a fantastic account for anyone who works with neurodivergent people, especially neurodivergent women and girls, who are aiming to be more neuroaffirmative, or for any person keen to learn more about the neurodivergent experience.Thank you little Harry and big Harry for sharing your story and for being the spark that ignited my desire to try to advocate for myself and others.

This book details nearly everything I experienced as an undiagnosed autistic and adhd human. Everything except the supportive parents part (I’m no & low contact with my family due to life-long abuse and rejection of my recent diagnoses). I’m a 38 year old female & was diagnosed at 36. It’s taken me 2 years to admit the autism because of the shame I already felt about being different. I could accept the ADHD, but the autism was tough. I desperately didn’t want to be autistic. I tried everything not to be, but I still experienced so much rejection & shame growing up just trying to be acceptable and lovable. Masking for the benefit of others was really starting to affect my quality of life.Your book has really helped me feel like it’s safe to access the memories of my childhood that I’ve suppressed for so long. I really struggle to remember most of my childhood, home life, and school except from the times when I was deep in my hobbies and interests, or writing & receiving letters from my pen pals. I’ve been working with a therapist for a few years now, and hearing your stories and experiences gives me a sort-of permission slip to begin unpacking and finding the words to explore & express my own. I was even afraid to talk to my therapist about my autism diagnosis for fear of it being denied, shamed, or being diagnosed/thought of as a compulsive liar or narcissist! And it’s literally their job to help me. The bit about wondering how genuine the life you’ve built around you is- omg so real. I also attempted to end my life around 15 years ago, so that part felt very relatable- I’m glad you included it. I’ve sacrificed and masked so much to ensure others feels comfortable around me. Always hyper vigilant, sometimes to a forensic level!I’ve written a few books, but none of them are about my own experience as an autistic/adhd female… I think I may need to rectify that and get my own story out there too. I feel inspired. Thank you Hat and congratulations, you are helping so many by sharing your story. 🩷

This is a fantastic book describing the experience of growing up not knowing you are neurodivergent. For someone else who has gone through the same experience, it helps to see this experience reflected back at you. I feel seen and understood. I would hugely recommend this to anyone who has found out they are Autistic/ADHD as an adult, or to someone who cares about a person who is going through that. I would also recommend this book to anyone at all because this is an experience that needs to be more widely understood.

This is an incredible book of the challenges of not knowing your support needs and how things can change when you begin to understand yourself. This book made me sad in the difficult times and hopeful for Harry’s future. It brings a powerful message for autistic girls and young women that you aren’t alone and insight for families, therapists and educators.