Last Fast Ride - The Life, Love and Death of a Punk Goddess

I'm not much of a hardcore fan, so maybe I'm talking out my ass, but it seemed like a pretty macho scene from the outside. So it was pretty cool to see a real femme fatale (who appears to have been quite nice in real life) in that arena. Not being a hardcore music fan, the music didn't do too much for me; it would've been interesting had she lived and done the psychobilly thing with her later band-- I think it actually would've been pretty good. She did have a nice voice, and atonal-shout-singers don't always transition well into other genres that require real vocal skills. You can't always hear her voice in the recordings, until the slower stuff in the end.Having said that, I never really understood the hardcore revival(or as they said 'punk's not dead') of the 1990's- to me, while it's democratic and all that, it felt like a dead horse even in the 80s. But I guess it speaks to a lot of people and it seems (they will hate this comparasin to death) almost like the Grateful Dead phenomenon- the music might not be that great, but it's a social scene that keeps itself going by the bonds people build and they sustain the lifestyle pretty much forever. I'm a little ambivalent about that since it seems kind of limiting- I can see a misfit kid being very attracted to it- particularly one like Marian who was abused and had lots of mental health issues. It would be very liberating and cathartic. And I disagree with the criticism that the music was just 'venting'- isn't lots of punk basically venting? And aren't some of those vents valid? That was kind of the point in the beige '70s and why it was so refreshing and radical at the time during the first wave. And for a woman (or anyone really) to be open about molestation and abuse, I think that is a political & social statement. It's not just axe-grinding about some scene conflict, it's an important issue that affects a lot of people.However, back to my point, I think some aspects of the punk aesthetic seem like it could be a self-reinforcing cycle of perpetuating self-damage. As one of her friend's said, it's like she was looking for something, she didn't know what but she kept repeating certain patterns. If you know much about abused kids and the resulting behavior and how it shapes them, you'll really feel for why she subjected herself to certain things (prostitution). I also liked the fact that one singer was honest about her feelings about the sex industry, saying that she felt people sell a piece of themselves. She didn't look like some uptight prude, so it was refreshing to have someone go against the whole "goddess worship" sugar-coated rhetoric that I've always been suspicious of. You could see why Marian would be attracted to being a dominatrix, to turn the tables of powerlessness as a victim, but it still seems like it never could really resolve her conflicts.I especially liked hearing from her girlfriend Danielle; they made a cute couple and her story of butch-meets-bombshell was sweet. Yet it also seemed like they too got trapped by a certain type of punk mentality that encourages dysfunction- they end up degenerating into a couple that pull guns and knives on each other. For them, perhaps it was out of genuine emotion, but I couldn't help but feel that Danielle had a hint of "that was so punkrock" romanticism about it somehow. For example, they wanted to get counseling but thought anger management was BS. I guess it wasn' t "real" or "punk" enough. How did they expect to grow and stop the fights? I knew a couple like that, always trying to kill each other, calling the cops on each other- really ridiculous and they had that same romantic soap opera mindset- and of course, it would be fodder for more lyrics. It just seems stupid at some point. It's a perfect example of the arrested development aspect of some underground mentalities- anything other than stagnating in some pattern of teenage rage drama seems to be construed as 'selling out' or not 'keeping it real'. I was feeling the same way about Lydia Lunch the other day.That said, Marian did seem to be genuinely grappling with some serious issues, so it's a great thing that she found music as an outlet. That aspect of the DIY culture seems really valuable- it's just a shame that it has such a downside. Even one of her friends said that the things that saved her were the things that killed her.I'll also add that surprisingly, Henry Rollins' narration was not intrusive at all- I'm really ambivalent about him. Sometimes he's right on and sometimes he's such an overbearing blowhard that I expected him to insert his ego into this, but he was respectful and sympathetic.

Having known Marian personally and been part of some of her antics, it was a real trip down nostalgia lane watching this vid...but it also disclosed for me things I never knew about her life. Especially the end, when many of us were wondering what the hell happened? Everything seemed like it was going well for her. But, now I have some of the answers. It doesn't fill the void that is left in our heart, but at least we can sort of understand what it happened.As for the documentary, I think it was well done, but I would have liked to have seen more interviews with people who really knew her back in the day like Ginger Coyote, and more from Texas Terri. Also, I don't think people will ever realize how close she and Daniel Deleon were...I think he was like her anchor in so many ways. It does touch on this, but I think it should be said that he was a true, blue friend, and stood by her side, through a lot of thick and thin. The world would be a better place if we all had a friend like Daniel.Somebody else posted a review that the music is "grating" and I would have to disagree. Other than her experimental music she did (at only 16) with Five Fingers, I think the music she did with the Insaints was awesome, angry punk rock and what little we have of The Thrill Killers shows just how much range Marian had as a singer and performer. Had things been different in her life, I think she could have gone very far musically. It is just too bad we will never know.RIP Marian. I never saw your insanity *other than on stage* just your sweet side. You were a true friend to those lucky enough to call you a friend.I hope people watch this and if nothing else, learn of the devastating effects abuse/sexual abuse has on children. Even the most gorgeous, seemingly strong person can be rendered helpless by it.

I first encountered Marian through a documentary I found called Sadobabies: Runaways In San Francisco. That doc was made in 1987 and published in 1988 and went to all sorts of international film festivals. When I saw the sequel, titled The Loser's Club, I discovered that Marian had gotten off the streets in 1993 and she had a band. Being the avid punk rocker that I am, I discovered The Insaints and fell in love with her. When I heard of this film, I found it online and watched it with a friend. It always stuck with me, her story, her life. So, I bought this DVD and rediscovered what a talent, what a beauty and what a wonderful albeit tortured soul she was.I never knew Marian, but feel extremely proud of what she was able to accomplish in the East Bay punk community. I am both intrigued and inspired by her experiences. She suffered homelessness, stints in mental institutions, group homes and had to give up her daughter... it's hard to imagine a more difficult life in this modern world, but she seems like she took it all in stride.This doc runs nearly 90 minutes and as great as it is, I wish there was more. Every time I see this film I am left wanting more. There are some extreme situations, nudity and lewd subject matter, but hey, it's a movie about a punk rock life. If you enjoy punk rock, are intrigued and fascinated by extreme lives or just want to be entertained, this is for you! 5 Stars!

Not even Henry Rollin's narration can save this dire documentary.