The Lincolns: Portrait of a Marriage

One of the biggest mysteries of all about Abraham Lincoln involves his marriage to Mary Todd Lincoln. Was it a love match? Was she really crazy? Did they have anything in common? What did they see in each other? How much did Mary Todd Lincoln help or hurt Lincoln's presidency? Daniel Mark Epstein attempts to answer these questions in his ambitious book, The Lincolns: Portrait of a Marriage. I believe that The Lincolns gets off to a shaky start, more resembling historic fiction (and romantic fiction at that).It isn't until the second half of the book that we get a more detailed and well-researched story about Lincoln and his wife.Most readers know the basics about Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd Lincoln. The short, perky, plump and pretty Mary Todd came from a prominent, slave-holding family from Lexington, Kentucky. Tall, gangly, and self-educated, Abraham came from more humble beginnings and grew up in a log cabin. Many would say that this was a marriage of opposites. Yet, both had a love of poetry, politics and the theatre. Mary was also politically ambitious for her husband. But Mary also had a dark side. Today, she would probably be diagnosed as being Bipolar--maybe even flirting with schizophrenia toward the end of the White House years. Once married, Lincoln "began to see the depths of her emotions, how the intensity of her love was matched by a savage hatred or anger." At times, she even turned her anger against her husband, breaking his nose one time, throwing hot coffee at him another.In the first half of The Lincolns, there is much about Abraham and Mary that is fabricated. Early in their marriage, "The weekend before the convention, the Lincolns, holding each other for warmth, watched a comet on the western horizon." How does Epstein know this? This fact is not referenced and neither Lincoln nor Mary kept a diary.Also, while living in Washington, DC while serving as a congressman, Lincoln comes home late one night and sneaks into their hotel room. While Mary and the children slept, "he removed his boots and laid his clothing upon a chair." Again, this may seem small, but who says that Lincoln placed his clothes on a chair? Again, this scene is not referenced. Maybe he hung his clothes on a hook, or draped them on a bedpost. And maybe, he just threw them on the floor. As far as I'm concerned, a book such as this should not assume thoughts, words or actions unless they're fact.The White House years are much better documented and realistic, based on letters, diary entries and especially, eyewitnesses. Mary proved an accomplished although extravagant White House hostess. But as Lincoln surrounded himself with competent advisors, Mary's role as a confidant came to an end. Her explosive temper was legendary among the White House staff, and Lincoln's secretaries called her "the hell-cat" and "her Satanic majesty." Before she even moved into the White House, she started exhibiting compulsive behavior as she ran up tens of thousands of dollars in bills for clothing and other items. Mary often found herself in the middle of high-drama as she attempted to find ways to pay off her ever-mounting bills in scandalous and sometimes illegal ways.The Lincolns does contain much information that I never before read. One such gem involved Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Salmon Chase. There was no love lost between Chase and Mary Lincoln. Yet, after the second inaugural, Chase sent to Mary the Bible that was used for the ceremony, along with a gracious note. Chase wrote "The page touched by his lips is marked...I hope the Sacred Book will be to you an acceptable souvenir of a memorable day."I found it more and more difficult to see how this relationship continued to work as Mary Lincoln became more and more unstable, fit to throw temper tantrums and go into jealous rages. Lincoln seemed to treat the ever self-destructive Mary with kindness and solicitation, even while causing him great embarrassment. In any event, Epstein seems to excuse the first lady, believing that despite Mary's flaws, we would not have had a President Lincoln without her. In any case, we will probably never know the true story as Mary Lincoln burned many of their personal letters before leaving Springfield for the White House. Robert Todd Lincoln also destroyed any that showed his parents in an unfavorable light. So who really knows what goes on behind closed doors? Daniel Mark Epstein has tried, although I'm not sure he truly succeeded.

Daniel Mark Epstein is a poet as well as a biographer and the sheer beauty of his writing in "The Lincolns" propels you into their world- the tragic world of Mary and Abraham Lincoln. You will witness the Lincolns as you've never seen them before. The result is so compelling you'll feel that Mr. Epstein was there, at their side, sympathetic, non-judgmental. That Mary Lincoln was probably psychotic is viewed with compassion, but Abraham was a man of mercurial moods, given to periods of despondency followed by periods of joy and even playfulness.Both were highly emotional people, but Abe had his emotions under control, most of the time, except when he went bananas after breaking off his engagement to Mary Todd- while she did not. Given to fits of rage even in their young married life, when Mary hit her husband in the face with a piece of wood when he wasn't paying attention to her, when she chased him with a knife (although he easily disarmed her) she simply was not normal. Her later frenetic spending sprees in the White House and her jealousy of any woman approaching Lincoln and her long prostration after the death of their son Willie reveal a woman very near the brink. But Epstein handles her gently, fairly, emphacizing her warmth, her charm, her courage.It's quite possible that if he had not married Mary Todd, who supported and goaded him on politically, Lincoln, although he had great confidence in his own ability, might never have gotten involved in politics over his thriving lawyer practice. She was determined, even before she knew Lincoln, to marry a President. So when she met the lanky Kentuckian, she realized he was Presidential timber and when he unceremoniously dumped her, she waited for him to come to his senses and return to her. She knew he was worth waiting for, even though she must have been horribly humiliated.Incredibly, and I've never read this anywhere else, Lincoln's withdrawal from Mary may have been motivated by the fact he thought he had syphilis. He took three large blue-colored pills containing mercury a day. Mercury had been for centuries a standard treatment for syphilis. It's likely the hypochondriac Lincoln never had the disease, but Epstein relates his misery so feelingly, so intimately, you feel the author was in Springfield at the same time, closely observing the stricken man and rooting for his emotional and physical recovery.There are so many wonderful descriptions and vignettes in "The Lincolns." Abe flat on the floor of their Springfield parlor talking to his cats tete a tete until they dissolved in rumbling purrs. Lincoln loved cats so much, Mary called them his hobby. Lincoln entering the dark, gloomy room in the White House where his son Willie had died. Every Thursday, the day the child died, the President would slip in there alone, sit in the dark an hour and come out red-eyed. Mary collapsing at the same time and remaining an invalid for months. Lincoln becoming gaunter, thinner, sadder, as the civil war raged on and on.The pages devoted to Willie, both before and after his death, will tear at your heartstrings. His death on top of the strain of a ghastly war, caused a major disintegration in the family which never completely healed. You'll feel the pain, because Epstein takes you right there. You'll feel all the horror of a war in which brother killed brother in enormous numbers and you'll feel the agony of parents losing a beloved child. An historical chapter from hell for both the country and the Lincolns."The Lincolns: Portrait of a Marriage" is a major achievement. It almost seems that nothing more of any consequence about the Lincolns can be said. This is a beautiful, insightful book: Don't miss it!

Loved this book. The nitty gritty detail is all there for us civil war buffs. Very enjoyable

Enjoying reading the book and was impressed by the early delivery, thank you