Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change Paperback – February 27, 2007

It was interesting to learn that many men think negotiating is fun, while many women think negotiating is being "difficult". Women are raised to be nice, after all!I have reversed what I used to think about negotiating, I see the value and experience I bring to the table, and I'm not desperate and undervaluing myself anymore.Ask and ye shall receive.Great book, very instructive.

I recommend this book and have given it to several of my friends. It is a great book, concise and practical, with good examples backed up with evidence.This is no touchy-feely rah-rah book, (which would have been annoying to me).I have referred to the book's examples of women's style of negotiation in discussions with men and women. I think this book helps men as well, I think everyone can recognize themselves in it here and there. "Women Don't Ask" has made me bolder in asking for what I want, rather than wait for the world to figure out what I would like.

Babcock and Laschever have presented an excellent -- thoroughly researched and well-written -- discussion of the rationale behind, and costs of, the problems encountered when women negotiate (including a resistance to doing so). They build a damning case against gender stereotyping and socialization based on extensive scientific research and present clearly the ways in which this has hampered many women in their approach to negotiating. In particular, the discussion of the impact of disparate levels of perceived entitlement between men and women (of all ages) is extremely illuminating. It is not a book that levels blame (which does not mean that it is a comfortable read; as a professional woman I found it decidedly uncomfortable at times), but does seek to highlight ways in which we, and the society in which we live, have solidified an aversion to asking for what we want, need, or deserve.The touted "strategies for change" are minimal (although the idea that feelings of entitlement lead to stronger bargaining is useful). Instead, the benefits of a more stereotypically feminine approach to negotiating (i.e. collaborative) are discussed, as are the ways in which modern negotiations are tending in that direction.All in all, a book very worth reading (and one that almost all my friends will be getting!).

The basic premise of the book is great, and the author brings in a lot of examples and scenarios to explain and prove her point. Women don't ask, and we are doing ourselves a disadvantage by not doing so. However, I do feel that the book is kind of outdated now. Most of her research, was done over ten years ago. I would like to see an updated book, to see if the same issues apply or whether there has been significant change throughout the years.

After reading this book, I made myself endure moments of discomfort so I could act on what I learned. Result: a higher income. Women, it's OK to ask. Just do it nicely. Ask for what you want, in a calm, neutral voice, then be silent. Really zip it. You'll want to speak more, but don't. Wait quietly as events unfold in your favor. Actually, scratch that. Ask for more than what you want. Then ... hush. I have given this advice to friends, who also then got salary increases.There's more to this book than that: I learned so much about gender differences that surprised me and discovered that my lack of insight was in fact harming me, unnecessarily. Another key takeaway: Don't negotiate or talk like a man. We have to conduct ourselves in the feminine style that is actually quite natural to us, as it turns out. This book validates and elucidates that style, making it easier to do what's natural more confidently and with best possible results.I tell my closest friends this is a must-read. The one warning I'd give: It's detailed in its presentation of the research that unearthed the authors' insights, which for me was a plus. I think it was very well done. But some people may find it border-line academic in tone. *Some* people, that is. i didn't.

This book is amazing! I can honestly say it changed my life. I had always thought I was alone in feeling sick to my stomach when I had to ask for something. Reading this book made me finally understand what was behind that feeling and helped me overcome it. I agree that the book could do more to give women practical help to overcome this problem but I think just knowing what the problem is is a huge help. Since reading the book, I have become much better at asking for things myself and have begun recommending the book to female friends and collegues. I've been amazed to see the things I have been able to get just by asking. So glad I read this book!

Such a great guide for women in the workplace (or even just in life.) Very simple advice which *should* be obvious but which to many women is not given their lifelong socialization.Practical, Simple but Highly Impactful Advice - every 20 something woman (and beyond) should be given a copy by a woman who loves her.

Girls and women, we all should read this book! It kinda pumps me up and I feel that I do deserve better. Just great book. It shows why we undervalue ourselves. When they talk about reason, I feel that they got those examples from my own life.