How to Cope When Your Child Can't: Comfort, Help and Hope for Parents

Why buy a book when the internet is full of forums and parenting advice? My own experience with forums big and small is that they are a mixed blessing. To use a forum you have to distil your experience into words and then hope others grasp their meaning – which often they do not – leading to unhelpful responses which simply exacerbate your negative feelings. A book like this is of itself a non-judgemental tool. It is there for you to use, to take what you need and offering down to earth advice.The book adopts a simple, practical, multi-faceted approach to helping yourself be a parent. I would strongly commend it to any parent who is finding bringing up a child challenging in ways they never anticipated. I know – I have been there. This book is not the story of one person’s experience. It is not a book that tells you – I have been there – this is what I felt – you are in the same place – so you must feel the same/will want to follow my path. It sets out to offer help to all parents – and that of itself is important; as the book addresses, at times there can be no lonelier place than being the parent of an unhappy child.I read through the book highlighting many passages and will go back to those chapters which resonated the most. There is much wisdom in here –which parts are for you will vary from parent to parent. I would highlight in particular an analogy about getting on a plane to go on holiday to one place only to find you have arrived at another & how you would make the best of that situation. That analogy – had I heard it 18 years ago – would have been printed out or put on my phone to hold in my mind through difficult times.There is a chapter addressing grief on the loss of a child which resonated much for me in the frame of mind I have experienced this last year or so because of bereavement (though not that most terrible of losses). That on one’s own values helps contextualise the advice into a framework which prioritises what is important to you and your family. There is a helpful list of further resources at the end and a very good index. Highly recommend.

When this was recommended to me, I was a bit unsure as I have read so many books on parenting kids with mental health issues over the last few years. However, this book is - without doubt - the most genuinely helpful I have come across. I have read it once and am about to read it through again and share it wrote my husband. The experience of the authors shine through as they show compassion and understanding for how it feels to have kids who can't cope. The book is packed with incredibly useful guidance, including some based on the real life experience of parents/kids featured in case studies. Absolutely brilliant and highly recommended.

Thank you to the authors for writing this excellent book. It is super helpful for parents like me. It can feel like a lonely place and something that can be hard to talk about when everyone else around seems to be managing so well. Thank you for all the practical advice and for the friendly, supportive tone. Love it!

This is an excellent, timely book about an area of parenting that is often hard to talk about – particularly with those that don’t share the same kind of experience. It’s an easy and pragmatic read - well-structured, insightful, compassionate and comforting.The tips and exercises are well chosen and eminently “do-able”The further resources section at the back is also good.

I liked the "you are not alone" sections where people talked frankly about their own experiences.It's not a "read this and everything will be fine book"...rather three professionals bringing together their wide knowledge and expertise to offer practical help. Just even acknowledging that there is a way you can follow when your child is not coping is very powerful. I highly recommend this book.

A book that lets you know you’re not alone. That parenting can be so difficult, and it’s ok to still want to be happy. Great ideas, supportive and comforting. Thank you!

Helpful to recommend for families struggling to cope in different & difficult circumstances. A helpful read too for professionals - health visitors, social workers, psychologists, GPS etc

I loved this book. There was so much in it that resonated with our situation and I found hope, help and comfort as it says on the cover. It is a lonely business having a child whose struggling and it’s been easy to lose sight of my own needs. I wept a few times reading it out of sheer relief of feeling understood. I particularly appreciated the fact that it is packed with helpful, non preachy tips and strategies. I will reread and reread. Thank you to the authors.