The Way I Used to Be

The Way I Used To Be is an emotional and deeply moving novel that stays with you long after you turn the last page. The story follows Eden as she navigates the aftermath of trauma, capturing the raw and painful journey of healing, self-destruction, and resilience. Amber Smith's writing is both beautiful and heartbreaking, making Eden's emotions feel incredibly real. It's not always an easy read, but it's an important one. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a powerful and thought-provoking story about survival and reclaiming one's voice.

I've read countless books, both for work and pleasure. After a while, the plots and characters start to run together, and the stories I'm reading now become no more memorable than the last. The Way I Used to Be is one of the few books that stand apart from the rest.The story follows Eden, a sexual assault survivor who just started high school. Her story is told in four parts, starting as a freshman dealing with the crushing pain of being hurt in the worst way by someone she trusted. We watch as she struggles to come to grips with what happened. I read this book when I was the same age as the main character, and my heart still hurts when I think back on that time. As a reader, I'm careful of books like this because they can leave me feeling drained and empty. I was both by the time I finished, but I also felt so much more. It's weird and rare for me to feel proud of a fictional character, but that's what I was. Eden was so well-written. She felt like a friend I'd known my whole life, or maybe even a part of myself, and when she hurt, I hurt. What happens to her and the aftermath of it was hard to read but so worth reading.As a woman, I've grown up on the cautionary tales of sexual abuse. Where to spot it, how to avoid it, what to do after. Most of my knowledge of sexual assault comes firsthand from friends and family who've experienced it. With this comes ingrained hyperawareness and the naive thought that, despite having never experienced it myself, I understood it. But nothing compares to being inside the head of someone who has lived it. There is so much more that goes on than I could've ever imagined. It was eye-opening and painful because so much of the aftermath is just silent suffering. I can't help but think back to the countless stories I've heard and wonder what parts my friends sugar-coated, or left out completely, for my benefit. It hurts to know that there is nothing I could do for the pain I couldn't see. Though I emphasized with Eden the most, I also felt for her friends and family, because I have played that role before, and I can only hope that I was there for them when they needed me.I think this is a book that everyone should read, if not for the chance to better understand the thought process and actions of a survivor, then for the simple pleasure of reading a well-written, heartwrenching story with a brave and resilient main character.

"The Way I Used to Be" by Amber Smith is a poignant and powerful exploration of trauma and recovery through the eyes of a young woman named Eden. After a devastating incident with her brother’s best friend shatters her sense of safety and identity, Eden's once straightforward life becomes a complex web of confusion, anger, and silence. As she grapples with the emotional fallout, she buries her pain and struggles to adapt to the changing landscape of her adolescence.Told across four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—Smith intricately weaves Eden's journey through the challenges of growing up, including the realities of first love, heartbreak, and the often tumultuous nature of friendship. While the narrative dives deep into the scars left by trauma, it also highlights Eden's resilience and the gradual realization of her own strength. As she learns to confront her past and embrace her survival, "The Way I Used to Be" serves as a powerful testament to the complexities of healing, making it an essential read for anyone seeking understanding and hope in the face of adversity.

Trigger warning: this book start with an action of rape and talks about it through out the book!This book was so heartbreaking but so realistic for those who’ve been through what Eden been through and I love that about the book! I give this book a 5 star just for how real and authentic it is!

I got this book for the plane. I didn’t read it again cause I’m not going on my trip for another couple months but by the looks of it, it sounds like an amazing book.