The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again

I was expecting something a bit gimmicky with tactics to calm your child when tantrums happen. There’s actually a lot more than this. Really useful info on why tantrums happen, and overall good advice on raising small kids.

I have an incorrigible grandson. We don't know where he came from, my 6th grandchild. He has two experienced parents, who are wonderful role models. I taught school for 35 years before I retired, have four children, 6 grandchildren, and now, even a great granddaughter! From the time he was born, we dealt with what we thought was colic, short sleep periods, watched his diet closely in case he was allergic, etc. I doubt he was allergic to any foods, but my daughter even cut out things in her own diet while she was breast feeding. She is a nurse, has been an exceptional mother, but he has broken her down. He has tantrums, but other behaviors also make it difficult to deal with him. He whines, screams at times, appears to have a short attention span, but can attend when he gets interested. I have observed enough children that I know he is somewhat precocious, no problem with intellect. I was afraid I might not be able to attend to this book: but I really liked it from the start: she outlined 5 "symptoms" or characteristics to examine, like emotionaity, having to be in control, for example, and I found two that fit him strongly. He does have tantrums, but not all the time. He can not tolerate "No." He is approaching 3, but this demanding and wearing personality has been apparent from the start. Amazing. It's really killing my daughter and son-in-law. I've always been a good disciplinarian, but he isn't easy for me. Worse with parents. (I want to wring his neck when they come home and he starts.). That aside, (I'll restrain myself, :), I promise), this is a very well done book that deals with the difficult child. there is no easy answer. But, to just know it isn't your fault, helps. And understanding some of his issues helps. I just ignore him at times, or try to distract. I pick my battles. But, it's hard for his parents. And his big sister. Thank you for the book, if the author ever reads the reviews.

This book has changed my life. My 3-year-old has been having humongous tantrums for the past year and a half, with no end in sight. I've read multiple parenting books in an attempt to understand how to best handle these situations. Dr. Schrag Hershberg's book is the first one that has provided me with strategies to reduce the length/severity of my daughter's tantrums, AND to help keep me grounded in the midst of chaos. The book is beautifully written, funny, relatable and takes super wholistic approach to understanding how tantrums unfold and how they can be prevented, or at least, deescalated.I also deeply, DEEPLY appreciate her willingness to address the stuff that we, as parents, bring into the tantrum equation: socioeconomic issues, past trauma, our feelings about the ways WE were parented, etc., all of which impact how we interact with our kiddos and contribute to "tantrum interactions". It's all SO REAL, and no other book that I've read addresses this stuff. So yes, if you have a toddler, read. this. book.

If you’re looking for a quick and dirty guide to taming temper tantrums, this is probably not the book for you. Dr. Rebecca Hershberg doesn’t claim there’s a one-size-fits-all solution to your toddler’s ferocious behavior. She has something altogether more nuanced and humane in mind for both you and the young ones you care for.That seems like a good idea, since she says children may lose control of their emotions as early as one year up until they’re ready for kindergarten. Just as not all toddlers look alike, neither do their tantrums. As a parent of two small boys and a practicing child psychologist (she actually makes house calls) Dr. Hershberg understands the pressured lives of caretakers, but in this book, she offers ways to pause, slow down and exercise more self-awareness than you think you have. She even recommends using a timer if you’re curious about the length of the distress.The first half of the book is given to explaining the emotional and developmental foundations of toddlerhood, and the second half offers concrete advice about how to address a variety of tantrums. Tempting as though it may be, I suggest you start at the beginning—even if you do peek ahead. And, in the meantime, I’ll share one of her suggestions: Don’t threaten to call the police.

First and foremost, this book is very well written. It's logically organized, humorous, and entertaining, making it easy to appreciate its terrific substance. The first few chapters describe the brain of a 2-4 year old, in language that is comprehensible to a layperson, but doesn't seem dumbed down. As a parent of boys ages 3 and 5, I found these chapters mainly reassuring; the outbursts, meltdowns, defiance, and utter irrationality are most likely "normal," and not, as one might fear, signs of budding sociopathy. The middle chapters discuss parents: from their generally unrealistic expectations of their kids (for example, little kids will almost never be able to give logical explanations for their actions), to how their words and behavior are perceived by their kids. The final few chapters put it all together, presenting concrete strategies for heading off tantrums (or at least reducing their frequency, intensity, and lasting effects). Dr. Hershberg includes countless examples from her professional practice and her own family. In writing about them, she frequently hits a metaphorical pause button just as the tantrum is about to begin, then examines what likely led to that moment, how it could have been avoided, and what the parents ought to do (and avoid doing) in that moment. The examples were so numerous, and sounded so familiar, that the cumulative effect was to feel like I had received personalized counseling sessions from Dr. Hershberg, for the mere price of a paperback book. My only complaint about this book is that it wasn't written sooner!