I Said No! A Kid-to-kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private

I love this child safety book so much!Here’s why.For starters, Kimberly King—aka @toughtopicsmom—posesses a beautiful “why” for writing this terrific child safety book. Her son almost fell prey to an abuse situation. A child-on-child abuse situation. It is so important to have books in the world written on the topic of child-on-child sexual abuse because currently, in 70% of child abuse incidents, the “offender” is another child! An individual under the age of 18."I Said No" is not just a good story. Though it is that. "I Said No" is also a book with benefits. The story is one component. And really terrific resources are the other component.The simple but beautiful artwork makes the book super child-friendly. I love that “red flags”—artistically rendered—are featured throughout the book. Red flags are the quintessential warning signs of our culture! We adults know it, and I think it’s an important “symbol” to pass down to our kids.But King also introduces the idea of “green flags” to indicate situations that are appropriate. She uses both color flags—green and red—to visually communicate to kids things that are safe or unsafe. I love the “sailor motif” that the artist applied."I Said No" teaches so many important concepts: what privates are, what is consent, who can touch a child safely. King also identifies how a child might feel in a situation where they are at-risk: upset, uncomfortable, scared, lonely. etc..Another strategy King—a kindergarten teacher—utilizes is teaching kids a format for action. She shows a number of situations and what a child might THINK, SAY, and DO in each circumstance.Finally, you get to Zach’s story: his unfortunate experience at a friend’s house during a sleepover. Because Zach recognizes red flags and has been taught to process situations in terms of THINK, SAY, and DO, his fantastic problem-solving skills save the day. I literally cheered at the end of the book. This is a real live child applying great strategies to keep himself safe.Props to King for including a work-page in the back of the book where children can make a list of safe adults. This is one of the top child safety strategies I hear in the industry today.King also mentions the possibility of family members being unsafe. This is a critical addition to the book. The excellent child safety organization, Darkness to Light, reports that at least 30% of children are abused by immediate or extended family members.If there are kids in your life that you love, I recommend you buy this book for them and read it with them at least once a year. These ideas need to be reinforced regularly as we do with: “Look both ways before you cross the street,” and, “If your clothes catch on fire, stop, drop, and roll.”Well done, Kimberly King, well done!P.S. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. And a body safety educator in public schools. And a child safety educator out in the world. Plus the author of the child safety book, "The Brave Knight." All to say, I think my opinion on "I Said No" is valuable.

I purchased 3 books on this subject that were highly recommended by the people that purchased them. Although all the books were great, this book stood out far from the rest. I have 4 kids that range from age 7 to 14. I was reading this book for the first time to my 2 youngest (7 & 10) when the 2 older kids (12 & 14) came into the room as I continued to read. The 2 older kids were actively participating in discussing the contents of the book just as much as the younger ones. We ended up reading it through a second time with all the kids & discussing what they learned. What I'm trying to say is even though at first this book seemed like it was going to pertain to much younger children, it actually didn't. The author made it understandable for the younger ones, but also covered situations the older ones had never thought of. The author also left several areas "open for parental discussion" at the end of sections where parents can elaborate more if they feel they needed to. For ex: some families use the words "private parts", "bathing suit area" or "boy parts & girl parts" instead of the proper names. Instead of explaining these proper names, the author writes something like "..your private parts are the areas of your body that are covered by your bathing suit. These "private areas" have names that you can discuss with your parent. You may want to discuss this right now.." So the author covers all the bases for those parents who would rather use their own "pet names" for genitals without offending anybody (as ALWAYS, there will be people offended by using "penis and vagina" with their children, as well as the reverse using "pee-pee" instead of the correct names for genitals). This was very SMART on the author's part. She left these areas open for further discussion if it was a more sensitive topic. She also explained about "red flags" in how people act and what they say, and how to spot a "red flag". She also explained the importance of TELLING no matter what. One of the most important topics she discussed (that many books overlook or don't emphasize ENOUGH) is that the people that can do these things can be someone you love a lot like a close relative, neighbor, friend, friend's parent or relative, etc. Someone doesn't have to look or be mean or be a STRANGER. As a matter of fact, I don't think the word Stranger was used, which is also SMART because that paints a bad picture to children that only bad-looking people or people they don't know will do these things. I know this is probably wordy & overwritten, but I've read LOTS of books and this is the ONLY ONE that had everything all laid out the way it should be.