A Father's Story

I never give anything a review because they seem pointless to me, however, I can’t remain silent In regards to this book. Serial Killers, especially Ted Bundy and Jeff have always sent me into deep thought of what the meaning of life really is, or if there is even a meaning to it. I usually stick to “primary” sources for these two, or first-hand accounts because I find them more fascinating and riveting. This book, I can not stress enough, is hands down the most riveting, thought-provoking, and emotional first-hand account. My respect for Lionel Dahmer is immeasurable for the pain he has dealt with regarding his son is immense. His writing style is immaculate and you can tell that he poured all his effort into this book, which as the father of the infamous Jeffrey Dahmer, could be deemed emotionally exhausting. Dahmer let’s the reader relive his experience in a vulnerable way that I have never seen before. He talks about his internal conflicts and thoughts that he had at the time and when he wrote the book, and of course, his experience with his son Jeff. If you are a true crime geek, or want to hear the story of Jeff in the perspective of his own flesh and blood, this is for you. As Lionel mentions, it just makes you wonder where and when things went cause murder.

For me, reading this book gave me a different perspective into Jeff's background but it is also about seeing experiences through his father's eyes and understanding the memories, questions and feelings he was processing in relation to Jeff's upbringing and everything that led up to the crimes. It seems there was also a part of him that felt like he had lost his son long before Jeff's death, and it sounds like the connection was strongest toward the end. If he felt that he couldn't get close to Jeff before or that Jeff was closed off for most of his life, this might explain why Lionel could only offer information about what he saw in his son and how he responded to it. I do think it would have been interesting to hear more about their positive experiences together during Jeff's childhood, because that is equally important for seeing the whole picture, but I still got a lot from the book regardless. I also found the writing kept me engaged and wanting to know more, he has a way of putting things simply yet conveying it with depth and meaning. The book overall is worth the read, in my opinion.

I think that nearly everyone on the planet, at least nearly everyone in America, knows who Jeffrey Dahmer was. Or rather "Jeff Dahmer" as Lionel Dahmer's second wife, Shari Jordan, might say. I watched an interview with Lionel and Ms. Jordan and she was quick to correct the interviewer that they only know Jeffrey as "Jeff." I think it was fair. "Jeffrey" just seems to make him sound worse than he even was, for some reason. Think "Edmund Kemper." Edmund prefers just "Ed" and I know that from watching interviews with Mr. Kemper. Or Ed I suppose.I've read several books now on Jeffrey Dahmer, err, Jeff Dahmer. In particular I really liked the book, "Grilling Dahmer: the Interrogation Of 'The Milwaukee Cannibal'" (GD) written by Patrick Kennedy, the homicide detective that arrested and interviewed Jeff extensively. Of course the word "grilling" in the title of GD is supposed to be a bit tongue-in-cheek and I guess I smirked when I first realized it. Unfortunately Mr. Kennedy died in 2013 while both Lionel and Ms. Jordan died in 2023, and Jeff died in 1994. But Mr. Kennedy's book is really good and he showed true humanity to a serial killer (SK) -- Jeff Dahmer -- who I suppose showed little humanity to anyone. Mr. Kennedy even gave Jeff a shirt to wear in court because Jeff didn't have one, that's how nice of a guy that Mr. Kennedy was. But I highly recommend GD as Mr. Kennedy interviewed Jeff extensively and the book covers a lot of those interviews. But I suppose in a way both, "A Father's Story" (AFS), written by Lionel, and GD are both memoirs although there is some overlap with the true-crime genre. But I highly recommend both AFS and GD as both are very good.Now in AFS Lionel is very introspective and it's obvious that he really struggled trying to determine if he was at least partially responsible for Jeff's actions. Lionel discusses both nature and nurture and he wisely realizes that, even if he was a good parent to Jeff -- even Lionel doesn't know -- Lionel's DNA was passed on to his son. And Lionel is honest enough to discuss even some of his own idiosyncrasies and how maybe that was passed down through genetics. It's my opinion that very few SKs are "born evil" as the Investigation Discovery (ID) Network might say in one of their shows. It's most likely a combination of nature and nurture. It's easy playing Monday Morning Quarterback and say, "Lionel caused Jeff to become the killer he was!" but that would be a bigger mistake than throwing an interception in the fourth quarter. More than likely Jeff was on a path to become at least antisocial no matter who his parents were. At least that's my opinion.Now, it does seem that Lionel was not only a scientist but somewhat religious as well. That is fine by me as I'm agnostic myself. But it's nice to see someone who's honest about it because some subjects aren't too popular nowadays. It is the case that religion and science are not mutually exclusive. Both might be right but it's unprovable either way. But Lionel seemed to be happy that Jeff accepted religion at least after Jeff was incarcerated. I think it does maybe show that there was an actual "human" inside Jeff. It must've been in there somewhere.Lionel also discusses how people viewed him after Jeff was arrested. Naturally, there were some people who were nice to him and his second wife but there were many people who were not. I do think that people unfortunately fall victim to a guilt-by-association fallacy: "We don't like you because we don't like your son!" would be an example of the fallacy. Jeff, and Jeff alone, was responsible for his actions and even if Lionel knew what a bad path Jeff was taking it's unclear if Lionel could've stopped Jeff.Lionel had a PhD in chemistry but I think that AFS is really good considering he wasn't a professional writer. He does tend to repeat himself a bit here and there but I understand it. I think he did it sometimes because he really wanted to get a point across to the reader. But I'll give a pretty strong recommendation that you read, "A Father's Story." It is a very good read and I think it might help the reader not only understand Jeff a bit more, but his father Lionel as well.

Incredible to read Jeff Dahmer’s story from his father’s POV! I bought it as a gift to someone and just had to read it myself first. If you’re a fan of true crime, this is an interesting read!

Inicialmente, comprei a versão kindle, pois o preço estava muito acessível e também nessa versão tem a opção de tradução. Agora farei a aquisição do livro físico, porque dos livros que li sobre o Dahmer, eu achei esse o melhor. No livro, o pai relata memórias desde a infância até o final da vida de Dahmer e inclui fotos de família. Ele pontua algumas mudanças de comportamento que o filho apresentou e também faz algumas relações com a sua própria vida. Acho que esse livro deveria ser lido por qualquer pai e mãe, bem como por quem gosta de true crime. Vale frisar que no livro o pai não aborda muito sobre os crimes do Dahmer, ele relata mais sobre a relação familiar e as consequências das ações do filho.

I did not/do not know much about Jeffrey Dahmer except the name - I was all the more interested in the story. An interesting, moving insight of a father - starting with Jeffreys' childhood, etc. How can you deal with such a situation? Strong recommendation!

I found this book a very heart-wrenching and a compelling story of a helpless father who tried every bit to alter his son's fate, but destiny had something completely different and dark in store. His observations of his own son, his nuances, the circumstances, etc., are in complete raw and true form. I can only sympathize with Lionel. This book is highly recommended.

I bought this book after watching the Netflix series Dahmer, I had previously seen documentaries and videos on Jeffrey dahmer so thought now was the best time to hear a side of the story that isn't covered well in the documentaries, the fathers... I can't fit into a small review how fascinating and heartbreaking reading this book was, I can truly say however that I haven't read a book like this in years, informative and emotional while also telling the story from the closest person to jeffrey dahmer that you can get!