Autobiography Of A Face

Autobiography of a Face I'm starting with an excerpt from Lucy Grealy's memoir, recalling her hard won learned behavior, as a young child attempting to deal with the overwhelming, unrelenting pain of Ewings Sarcoma, which no one had ever fully explained to her any meaningful way. And there is the added twist of her being left to her own devises much of the time, a 10 year old girl, then 11 years, then 12 years old. This is a story of how she dealt, and also of how she failed at that. But after reading her heartbreaking tale, I forgive her every fault I hear she was ever blamed for. The implications of her suffering are staggering."I was becoming aware that I was experiencing my body, and the world, differently from other people. For hours I'd lie in bed, either at home or in the hospital and run my finger back and forth along the wall or the bed rails beside me, conversing silently with myself in the third person, rationalizing the situation, setting down the basic premises of my philosophy, occasionally even telling myself I was lucky, lucky to have this opportunity to know such things. At times I was desperate and could find no solace anywhere. Nothing seemed to work, and the weight of being trapped in my own body made it difficult to lift even a hand off the sheets."A couple of pages prior this selection she speaks of pretending to be an alien from a strange land as a way of dealing with the horrors which she was not at all prepared to deal with. Nor was her family. I'm not sure if they were in complete denial or if it was just the times they lived in, but I do find it hard to fathom, leaving your pain wracked, vomiting little girl all alone to deal with chemotherapy, as it was delivered back then. Leaving her as well with the Drs, the Nurses, the Hospital Bureaucracy, and with the plain all out fear, loneliness, despair and such a profound sense of UNKNOWING. I simply don't get it. I never will.This haunting, beautifully written memoir caught me unawares, I have to admit. Her words and my reaction were quite unexpected, as I had heard of, or read things about Lucy Grealy that, quite frankly, were less than flattering. I first came to hear of Lucy Grealy, as I assume many do, thru her friendship with Ann Patchett, which appears to have been close and lasted many years. After Lucy's untimely death, Ann wrote her book detailing their close friendship in her bestseller, "Truth and Beauty" which I have not read, but have read a lot about it, and what other people have said about it. As I have with this memoir, "Autobiography of a Face." I suppose with any close-knit society, there will be many petty small-minded people, back-stabbers, people not really looking out for one another. It's dog eat dog, hey, every man for himself, I hope you can make it back to shore today! It's this reviewers opinion, not one comment made by anyone who knew the respective parties personally influenced my reading in anyway. However Ms. Grealy may have been perceived by anyone later in life has nothing to do with this tragic, heartfelt, seemingly honestly written memoir by a childhood cancer survivor with a cancer that never, ever really went away. It was there every single day of her life, causing pain, psychological as well as physical.So that's why I thank God this theory here holds up every day, year after year and has not yet broken down, at least in our society, and I thank God for blessing me with the freedom of free speech and that we each have our own mind and are allowed to use it to form our own opinions. Because I feel this strong need to defend Lucy Grealy as I do feel she spoke truly, considering all that she'd been thru. Please don't forget, she's relating her pubescent past thru such distortion, her lens to the past skewed by less than healthy ways of coping, (she WAS only 10-11-12!) her childhood wrought with more pain and confusion, even torture, oh yes, that's what a young innocent mind computes, it's simply breathtaking, the matter of fact heart break of suffering she recalls in such a lovely voice, so simple, so very readable, she really is a lovely writer, so sad that she died before her time, in only her mid thirties.When she was only nine, after incidentally being kicked in the face during a game at recess while at school, and after repeated trips to the dentist failed to heal with any resolution, her parents seeking several second opinions, got one. A terrible one for any parent, any child. Ewings Sarcoma, which eventually left her missing half of her jaw. Her recollections of radiation and chemotherapy made me cry for this child that was. Remember, this was the 1970s, they were only doing the best they could with what they knew. And she did survive. Despite well over 20+ operations, many of them major, before even reaching her majority, she was still missing half her jaw when she enrolled in college, shy and ostracized, in the mid-1980s. This was at Sarah Lawrence. She took pains with her body, thinking this would distract from the ugliness from what she's missing, she begins to dress quite provocative, captures a couple of men, nothing sustainable. She had a thought that sex could make up for lack of a face. But of course she was wrong. She moved to Europe, bummed around. Headed to London, this is where her sister had taken up residence. Sister Susie had met this gifted surgeon from Abderdeen, Scotland. He was a pioneer in reconstructive surgery, but Lucy was simply worn out, tired of all the fuss. But, as the story goes, with all the heads involved, smarter ones prevailed, and Lucy was now in deep, for well over three more years. The surgeon proceeded with another series of serious surgeries. And yet another, and another. So of course Lucy's every thought was wrapped around what is truth, what is beauty, what does it mean, to me, to others? How do any of us really SEE what we SEE? And just WHAT does THAT mean, if anything? She did have lots of time to contemplate these things. Eventually the surgeon's job was done, he could do no more, and Lucy headed back stateside, not recognizing her own face in the mirror. "Who is this person." she would cry. "I don't know who this girl is! I've never seen her." Whoa, talk about an adjustment! But, still not close, not even merely, to anything pretty.As a young child, a beautiful child, made frighteningly ugly, really a monster by anyone's standards, afflicted by a horrible cancer, such a cruel twist of fate for poor Lucy Grealy. She was forced to become wiser than a child should ever be, at the ripe old age of 10. She was turned into an introverted philosopher always thinking through the gray. But considering the circumstances she was in, the things going on, the painful things being done to her person, as well as the taunts and stares from people everywhere, also demanded she build a safe place, for her to huddle, unstuck, uncut, unostrasized, where taunts don't matter, and chemo's been postponed and looks simply don't matter. And guess what they don't. We know this more and more every day. It's what's in your heart and in your mind that keep us sane, not the planes that separate the height of your cheekbones along the classic chiseled jaw, so perfect in profile, say, like Garbo. Even she, gifted from God with mathematical beauty, understood the true meaning of such beauty. Meaningless. A shell for souls.If Lucy Grealy were still alive today, I would probably do something I've never done before, write a fan letter.

A friend of mine recently asked me for a reading recommendation, something outside of their usual crime/fantasy/romance genre. The first book that came to mind was Lucy Grealy's `Autobiography of a Face'. It is a biography/memoir, and one of the most powerful books I have ever read. I was so insistent in my recommendation to this friend that I decided to go back and re-read the book myself. And it's just as moving and horrifyingly powerful as I remembered.`Autobiography of a Face' was first published in 1994, to much critical and commercial acclaim, and is a New York Times `notable book'.When Lucy Grealy was nine-years-old, she was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma, a rare bone cancer that has around about 5% survival rate. Lucy's cancer was in her jaw, and over the next five years she had several facial reconstructive surgeries that removed a third of her jawbone.Grealy recounts her time spent in hospital. Her parents tireless bedside vigils and sense of hopelessness as they watched their daughter experience excruciating pain, and come out the other side victorious. Lucy likens her survival to climbing Mount Eiger; a seemingly impossible feat, a miracle.But the crux of Grealy's memoir is what came after she survived. The taunts from her classmates and stares from strangers were a different sort of suffering . . . there was no justification for peoples seeming scorn, for their cruel words. And no end in sight, since Lucy's disfigurement was now a part of her.Lucy Grealy's biography is an exploration into identity. Her disfigurement made her an outsider, physically `other' and clearly different. In `Autobiography of a Face' Grealy meticulously and ferociously recounts her transition from a normal nine-year-old New Yorker, to veritable `freak show', whose very appearance seemed to invite people to gawk and stare.It's not just strangers and classmates whose treatment of Lucy affected her. Her parents too, are guilty of imprinting on Lucy a feeling of difference and `other' in the wake of her surgery. Upon leaving the hospital her father is bumbling and embarrassed, barely meeting his daughter's eye. During a wig fitting for his post-chemo daughter, her father goes into a painful comedy routine which Lucy forgives him for because she understands his awkwardness around her now. When she returns to school, Lucy's mother buys her multiple short-sleeved turtlenecks, and when Lucy asks why she'd want to wear turtlenecks in the spring, her mother replies; "If you wear something that comes up around your neck, it makes the scar less visible." Lucy, as memoirist, now understands that her parents were simply trying to limit the fallout - obviously they knew the truthfulness behind "children can be so cruel", and were finding ways to pre-emptively help their daughter. Looking back on their behaviour, Lucy is also forgiving of them because they were adjusting to Lucy's difference just as much as she was - their daughter had changed, irrevocably, from what they once knew her as, and there had to be a period of awkward adjustment. But Lucy's retelling of these memories, crystalline in their remembrance, hints that even these moments with her parents affected and hurt her.The worst moments come from Lucy's classmates. She remembers every insult; every hurtful word is imprinted in her memory; "That is the ugliest girl I have ever seen." When Lucy returns to school she is 14, and older boys on the schoolyard are particularly cruel, entering into a game of one-upmanship in their taunts. Lucy again looks back on this with cold clarity, deciding that they were out to impress each other, commenting on her looks even from a sexual standpoint: "I realized they were passing judgement on my suitability, or lack of it, as a girlfriend." Understanding she may be, but Grealy doesn't exactly forgive these people for their cruelties.I first read Grealy's book when I was 14/15, and it was perfect timing. I was just at that age when you start comparing your body to other people's, and noticing flaws in yourself by comparison. It was also at that time when boys started taking an interest in certain girls, while ignoring others. Grealy's book really threw all my body-flaw panic into stark reality, and upon re-reading I am struck by how much Grealy's book remains an important critique of `beauty' and society's preoccupation with the status-quo.Part of the reason Grealy's biography is so compelling and easy to read (especially for those unused to biographies) is simply her bitter honesty and lacking sentimentality. She is very much looking back on the events of her life and recounting them as an adult, imbuing them with an adult understanding, dissection and wit. She isn't coaxing sympathy from the reader (though you'll give it, undoubtedly) and she's not being deliberately sappy or `woe is me.' And that makes her recounting of these events all the more painful to read. Grealy is taking away all the cushioning prose and flowery explanations, and just writing stark facts. It's incredible that someone who has been through as much as she can look back on these profound moments with such pure cadence and honesty.And Grealy does write beautifully, I'd even say that she writes nakedly. There's that old quote that goes; "Writing is easy. You just open a vein and bleed." Lucy Grealy does just that. She pours everything onto the page and holds nothing back. What is left are some frighteningly candid and earnest observations of the human condition and cruelty.Lucy Grealy, it should be noted, found some semblance of peace when she was accepted into Sarah Lawrence College at the age of 18. It was here that she nurtured a love of words and met influential and accepting friends, among them Ann Patchett (who would go on to write her own memoir on their friendship in 2004, titled `Truth and Beauty: A Friendship'). Grealy became a renowned poet, and went on to win two Academy of American Poets awards. But in 2002 she underwent a final reconstructive surgery, after which she became addicted to OxyContin. She died of a heroin overdose in 2002. She was only 39.`Autobiography of a Face' is one of those remarkable books that live in your heart after you read it. I first discovered this book when I was 14, some ten years later and it's just as powerful as I remembered, and a re-reading left me just as battered and grateful as it did the first time round.

“𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚, 𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒆𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒆, 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆.“Autobiography of a Face is a riveting, emotional true story of a woman who survived cancer as a child, but faced the severe struggle of self discovery regarding the beauty of physicality.Recommended by a friend, this memoir was one of my first true non-fiction reads of my life, and I was not disappointed. In this fast paced, true story of a girl desiring to figure out the meaning of all things beauty, I found so much understanding and honesty that pulled at my heartstrings and opened my eyes to the meaning of… what, exactly? I’m still not sure, but I know that this is the type of book EVERYONE needs to read.If you’re truly against non-fiction, give this book a chance. Please. It was an emotional yet beautiful work of art that I fear I’ll hold a little too close to my heart for the rest of my life.I did not relate to the struggles of this woman, but I do know that I related to the emotional insecurities she had. I know her without being close to knowing her.This book ultimately changed my outlook on life, and I wish that I could turn back time and reread it for the first time.I’ve never understood the reason for writing a book more than I do now after reading this one. Some stories demand to be told, felt and heard. This is one of them.

I read this book after reading the book her best friend Anne Patchett wrote about their friendship as I wanted to know more about Lucy as a person and what she had gone through during her childhood.This book was very eye opening as she explained her harrowing experience with a rare type of childhood cancer. I personally took a lot from this book as she was detailed about her feelings during this time and after her treatment was over, because I had a family member going through chemo and I was able to get maybe a little better of an understanding of what she was going through emotionally because of Miss Grealy's openness.I know this review is all over the map but another thing about this book that was particularly touching was Lucy's ability to rationalize, at a young age the fact that people were only making fun of her and saying cruel things to her because they were trying to be 'cool' in the eyes of others. I feel that she was a bright and brilliant young woman who sadly passed before her time.This is a great book, but I felt it was a difficult read at times

I found this book easy read and difficult to put down.Lucy gives an account of what she went through as a child with cancer. She writes about the stays in hospital and the process of going through Chemotherapy. What I found more interesting and shocking was how society treated her due to her physical apperance as a result of the cancer. As her cancer was of the jaw Lucy ended up with a facial disfigurement, which resulted in stares and tauments from people in society.From staring to name calling Lucy writes well about how looking different causes prejudice and bullying within society. Lucy writes about how having a facial disfigurement and at one point no hair due to chemotherapy the bullying she faced at school.This book is great for people interested in how we look and the affects it has on how we are treated within society.

This is a touching story told in an exceptionally intelligent and perceptive voice, without sentimentality or the desire for pity. It chronicles a young girl's battle with a disfiguring disease ( cancer of the jaw), the torment she endures from her fellows as a result of how she looks, and the solace she finds in the animal world where acceptance and unconditional love are freely given and do not depend upon looks. Despite the dark subject matter of the book, there are many instances of wit and good humour. Lucy Grealy writes beautifully and wanted to be seen as a skilled writer rather than as an unfortunate victim. This means that her well crafted book is uplifting rather than depressing, bearing testament to the extraordinary bravery and spirit that humankind is capable of rising to, even under the most trying circumstances.

Read this having read Anne Patchett's Truth and Beauty and thoroughly enjoyed it. If offered a totally different insight into Lucy than the description in Patchett's book.Having read both I can totally empathise with Grealy's' family members' upset at Truth & BeautyAn excellent book and essential reading if one wants to understand life after Cancer and Cancer treatment

It took 24 days to arrive in Turkey. However, the book is in much better condition than I expected. So I am happy with this purchase. Thank you.