Death Is Stupid (Ordinary Terrible Things) Hardcover – April 12, 2016

I lost my brother last July, which means my niece and nephew lost their father and my own daughter lost her uncle. This book offers the explanation I have felt too mature to admit: death is stupid. There's no sense to it. There's no immediately recognizable plan, although the human brain is a gifted storyteller and in five years or so, our family may construct some narrative that helps us keep moving without flinching every time a loved one coughs. I'm not there yet. And until I ordered this book, I wasn't sure how to make sense of the senseless for the children I love. I appreciate Death is Stupid for its empathy, its truth, and its irreverence for the religious narratives we force on children just as they are nursing wounds where loved ones used to be.The little boy in this story lost his grandmother. As adults, we know that sentence to be a description of the natural order of things. But when I was eight, a loss like that may have seemed as absurd as my own brother's loss feels now. Anastasia Higginbotham has not lost her memory of youthful sense-making. I love that she honors the child inside herself as she writes her character's response to blind faith in God's plan. On this side of loss, that plan looks aimless. Stupid, indeed.

This book is fantastic. It starts with the child narrator, whose grandmother has just died, stating that people say some really stupid things when someone dies. For example, "Just be grateful for the time you had with her", or "She's in a better place now." This book treats both the topic and the (child) reader with the utmost respect, validating the child's feelings of grief, loss, confusion, fear, and anger.The child observes and thinks about the different reactions of the adults around him as well as his own. He imagines having a conversation with his deceased grandmother, who straightforwardly acknowledges that "death is stupid," to which he responds in shock, "Grandma! You said stupid!" Finally the child shares memories with his father, the two of them work together in his grandmother's garden, and together they start to feel a little bit better. The author offers some suggestions that might help, but never implies that there are magic cures for grief and loss.I read this with my 6-year-old when a friend's grandfather died, because we were going to attend the funeral and I wanted her to understand a little bit about what the other people there might be feeling. She seemed reasonably interested and engaged while reading it, and it provided me with some helpful language to use with her and the other kids at the funeral. It's probably better suited to slightly older kids, and I think useful even for teens and adults. Highly recommended.

Dealing with death is not any different for a child then it is for an adult. The overwhelming feeling of loss, the guilt, the unbelievable sadness. We go though it all whether we are 6 or 60."Death is Stupid" deals with the feelings, the guilt and the words that have become cliches. And even though the things people say are meant to comfort, they usually end up only adding to the confusion and the grief.Children basically consider anything they don't like or don't understand as stupid. That is one reason Anastasia's title is so perfect. The book deals with a little boy who just lost his grandmother. Adults in the book voice responses like how "they know how he feels", and "she is in a better place." Sadly these statements while intended to help usually just anger and confuse the child.Actually the same thing can be said about adults who have lost someone. No one really knows how you feel and you really do not want to hear the person is in a better place.In "Death is Stupid" you follow the little boy from all the things people say trying to help him understand, to his tearful goodbye to his grandmother. In the end it is though his memories of his grandmother that he finds a way to deal.Anastasia's book allows the child to know he is not alone in his confusion. And like Anastasia's first book "Divorce is The Worst", her art work invites the reader with open arms to join in with the character and learn along with him.Children have so much to deal with in today's society. The series "Ordinary Terrible Things" by Anastasia Higginbotham makes it all seem smaller and a little less scary.Wonderfully creative art work that honestly every time you look at it you will see something different.Heartfelt words that makes the child feel that the character is just like him. And in the end there are even activities that the child can do to remember their loved one and a way to let go.I loved everything about this book.

Death truly is stupid. It is inexplicably unfair and in our need to provide comfort, as adults we sometimes say things that result in confusion and more frustration than remaining quiet. This book takes us through the mixed emotions the loss of a dear one brings to survivors and provides relief in the affirmation that death is "stupid" a word most children are not allowed to use. It also takes us through ideas of what we can do to find some relief, begin to heal, and keep those we've lost close to our hearts. This book is a must share with any child who is going through the loss of a loved one, including the furry kind.

I am an elementary school counselor. I love this book! I was a little put off by the title at first, but quickly overcame that. It is beautifully and cleverly illustrated. But, mostly, it does a great job of reflecting on death from a child's point of view. And it closes with some wonderful ideas for healing. Thank you!

I have bought many copies of this book already for friends. even if you don't read the book to your child quite yet (depending on their age, knowledge of death or maturity level), it give the parent simple language to use and a framework that speaks to kids. Certainly not fore everyone depending upon your beliefs about death but I loved getting help being upfront that I wish people we loved didn't have to die. and how to think about it when they do.

Amazing book, really well written. Illustrations are fabulous.

This funny, compassionate, beautiful book is accessible for kids, but I've given it more often to adults. Rather than trying to explain what death is or why it happens, this gets to the practical stuff. What people might say to you, how you might feel, that you're allowed to ignore or dislike the advice you get, and things you can do to feel close to your departed loved one (say their name, eat foods they liked, wear their clothes...). Back during one terrible year in the past I read a lot of grieving guides, and this little picture book is worlds better than any of them. Bonus for beautiful art and a protagonist who is never gendered. I'm excited for the new edition.