My Lobotomy: A Memoir

I want to start out by saying that “My Lobotomy” was a very difficult book to read, not because of the writing or editing but because of the subject matter. Everything talked about in this book actually happened. This book at times made me want to cry or to shout at the parents of Howard Dully demanding to know how they could put a child through everything that happened to him. I had to often set the book down for a bit and come back to it later. It was a very emotional experience. If what Howard went through as a child were experienced by someone his age today, that child would have been taken away by Child Protective Services.Howard’s mother died when he was 5 years old. That was where his normal, happy childhood ended. His father was working multiple jobs trying to make ends meet and remarried a woman by the name of Lou who had sons of her own from a previous marriage. She clearly favored them over her new step-children Oddly, this was mostly taken out on Howard and not his brother. No matter what Howard did, he seemed to get punished for it. Generally Lou would spank the boy, then have his father continue the punishment when he got home from working. Nothing Howard ever did was right or good enough for her. Now that isn’t to say he didn’t misbehave, but his behavior certainly wasn’t any worse than that of other children his age.At some point, Lou sought the advice of no less than 6 psychiatrists as to what was wrong with the boy. Each of them, after listening to her, told her in no uncertain terms that there was nothing wrong with Howard, but that the problem lay with her and thought that she could benefit from therapy. Each time that happened, she would seek the help of another doctor to try and solve the problem of her stepson. That all changed when she met Dr. Freeman.Dr. Freeman performed hundreds of lobotomies over the course of his career. He believed it cured all sorts of mental problems, from anxiety or depression to emotional problems such as anger or rage. After meeting with Lou several times and hearing about Howards emotional problems, he diagnosed Howard as schizophrenic and suggested that an “icepick” lobotomy could cure him. Howard had just turned 12 when the procedure was performed on him.Howard was one of the fortunate few who survived the procedure with relatively few side effects, but his home life did not improve. Lou did not want him around and eventually got Dr. Freeman to agree that the boy would be better off elsewhere. Howard spent time in halfway houses and other homes before that option was unavailable to his family.Over the years Howard spent time in an insane asylum, in juvenile detention centers, homeless, in jail, and in just about any situation you can imagine. Eventually, he met a woman he fell in love with and after they both got completely off of drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes, they were married. He continued to have ups and downs in his life, but for the most part his life improved. He found and held a stable job and also had a happy family of his own. He was one of the lucky ones who survived having had a lobotomy at some point in their lives. Yet still one thing haunted him... Why had it been done to him?There is so much more to his story. I won’t tell you the rest of it as you may want to read it for yourself. I have only included the barest of details in this review. As I said above, this was a very difficult book for me to read. My own child is the same age as Howard was when the (in my opinion unnecessary) lobotomy was performed on him. I couldn’t help but compare my own child’s worst day to his, and still believe he was simply a normal boy who was too often and too harshly punished. He was a just a normal pre-teen who deserved far better than he received.The book continues to tell about Howard’s life well into his 50s. If you are at all curious about him or what happened to him, you should take a look at it. The book was told from his perspective, as well as having been written by him. While it is a very emotional read, he did live an extraordinary life despite everything he went through. While I may have had to put it down a few times, I also had to pick it back up again each time so that I could find out how it ended. I just couldn’t give up on the book without knowing how it all turned out.

I had heard this book mentioned in a psychology course I took a few years back and was intrigued. The idea that a twelve-year old boy could be given a lobotomy in the first place appalled me and made me curious to hear his story, but then to be told there was no legitimate reason for it to be performed was even more compelling. It took until last week to buy the e-book, but I'm incredibly glad that I did.I will begin by saying I am likely biased in Mr. Sully's favour and my experiences in life have certainly coloured my view of this book. I grew up with a mother who was abusive both mentally/emotionally and physically and my father was at work too often to either know what was happening or investigate when I would tell him anything. Had I lived in Dr. Freeman's heyday, this story could have been me.This book covers Mr. Dully's early life before his step-mother arranged for his lobotomy and follows him to the point of the NPR broadcast about his experience to the publishing of this book. As the description implies, he had a rather wild and checkered life. He was often in trouble with the law and had problems with drugs and alcohol. This book does NOT become a chronicle of his wild behaviour. It does go into some of his exploits, but it is rather a matter-of-fact statement rather than a sensational retelling. He was able to walk away from it all. He is married and has essentially two children. (One is a step-son from a former marriage.)I love the writing style of this book. Some say it is simplistic and it is in a sense. It isn't filled with flowery language, but it doesn't need to be to keep bone's interest. The story speaks for itself and draws you in. I sat in the food court of a mall for an unknown amount of time unable to draw myself out of its spell. Ive seen a lot of people in these reviews make a subtle insinuation that his mind was damaged by the lobotomy and thus he was unable to write as well as he could have otherwise (shame on all of you who think that.) But this man is clearly intelligent. In the book he talks about being able to understand how engines work in trains and cars. This is no simpleton. He found it difficult to get work in the computer field and so decided to drive buses. This wasn't because he was unqualified to do anything else, but it was work he enjoyed.Towards the end of the book when he goes into the work involved in putting together the NPR broadcast, I couldn't help but cry. It ripped my very soul to feel what he went through while interviewing bis father, who refused to accept any blame for what happened. He blamed everyone else involved but himself.Some people have mentioned that he seems not to accept any responsibility for his behaviour. Some have mentioned that this is only one side of the story. As far as it only being one side of the story, the step-mother in question is dead, but Dully's father refuted one of the worst claims made against young Howard and there are notes from Dr. Freeman that seem to suggest that up u tip a certain point, he was thought to be a normal boy. There is also the fact that several others have said his step-mother was shopping doctors trying to find one who would side with her before she found Freeman. All of the previous doctors had said that the step-mother was the problem. That seems to support the theory presented. As for his behaviour, this procedure was intended to change personality, but in doing so I suspect it also can have an effect on how someone perceives right and wrong or perhaps create a disconnect between knowing and doing what's right. Severing the connections between the two halves of the brain could cause so many emotional and moral problems. This man is fortunate to be alive and a productive human being.Bottom line: this is an amazing look at how a man turned his life around. It brought me to tears and it is a book anyone should read.

It is a must-read book. As a psychiatric nurse already in the field for 15 years, I am still in shock that his father allowed Howard to be so abused and mistreated. It makes you see how far human selfishness and cruelty go. As I was reading, I would feel angrier and angrier about his stepmother's evil intent of making up lies about Howard's behaviour and personality to get rid of him. He was just a normal child wanting to be loved by his stepmother. What an evil and monstrous person she was. Howard was very nice to justify his evil stepmother's hatred towards him, but there is no justification for what she did. She was evil enough to hate a child and want to kill that child. She was angry and frustrated that the lobotomy didn't make Howard a vegetable. That was her goal. I feel disgusted by his father allowing all this to happen. Howard also justified his father's attitude to have allowed him to be lobotomized, but there is no justification. His father was as evil as his stepmother because he didn't stop that evil from abusing his child. It was visible and he was "too busy" to not stop her and kick her out. More disgusting and to see the father giving the interview and acting like it was nothing what he has done to his child. I hope his father and Lou, his evil stepmother, had a very painful agonizing death. Just fair. Gladly, Howard, was fully functional although he struggled so much for 40 years. Howard's brain was so damaged that what saved him from being a vegetable was the fact that the lobotomy was performed when he was still a kid. That saved him from being a vegetable. His brain was still developing and compensated for the damaged area. He is really an amazing special human being for not hating his father because I would not had been able to even talk to my father. Howard is going to be 75 yo soon in November. I hope he is still alive and doing well. He more than deserves to be happy in life. What a great human being.

The author isn't a professional writer in any capacity, and you can tell through the writing. It's very long-winded and the author goes into a lot of circles before getting to the point, sometimes to the point of being a little exhaustive.But, the author's skills as a writer don't matter at all, compared to the rich historical record, in the shape of a living person, that he brings to the table. Lobotomies rarely leave people capable of doing the most basic tasks, let alone care for themselves. Yet, he survived - and the aftermath was horrible, and now he's seeking answers for all of this. This book is a wonderful resource if you want to understand the gruesome story behind psychiatry and why it failed, and continues to fail, patients around the world and more often than not, acts as a tool of violence against the most vulnerable of people.

I wish Howard went into more details as to how this affected him emotionally and whether he felt disconnected from the world. My grandmother had this procedure and many electroshock therapies and she became totally emotionless.Howard, I was happy to read that you loved your father and tried to express this to him, that you had feelings at all. Its a shame he didn't reciprocate. It is almost like the roles were reversed. My grandmother couldn't express her love. I never saw her laugh or cry. I'm happy you found freedom and peace.

Happy to have been able to read about this man’s life and all he overcame. Shows how messed up our system was and how awful some people have been treated through time! A reminder of all the people who suffered at the hands of doctors like Freeman, who couldn’t speak for themselves or stand up for themselves! Scary!

Well-written and shocking account of a mother's baseless hatred for her stepson and the awful things she did to try and get rid of him. This poor fellow went through hell for the rest of his life, only getting some peace at the end. Very interesting account of the "mental illness treatment system" and institutes etc. I recommend it.