The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse, 3rd Edition Paperback – June 12, 2012

This book helped me realize that I was sexually abused multiple times in my life, which was a major turning point in my trauma recovery. However, my reaction was so strong that I don't recommend reading this without having an established therapist. It affected my mood and caused some nightmares, which I put 0 blame on the author for; it's just the nature of trauma. Ultimately, it was very validating to read and eased my mind about many of my doubts, and helped me gain the courage and skills needed to reconnect with my husband on a sexual level. He also purchased a copy so that he might more easily recognize things that could trigger me, and to gain insight on what he can do when that happens.

I was sexually assaulted at age 12, raped at age 12 by a different man for over a year, involved in many abusive relationships full of psychological/emotional/sexual abuse, and ultimately married an abusive man who was violent towards me and our children. When I attempted to leave the marriage he raped me again triggering my PTSD. Now, I'm going to be honest, I've done therapy dozens of times. I love therapy. I've read thousands of books on trauma and studied psychology. But if you had asked me a few months ago how much my rapes had affected my relationships I would've said "not at all!" But then I read this book. The inventory she has you do at the beginning is eye opening. It had me in tears. I was finally able to understand and grieve what was taken from me at such a young age and how it has continued to affect every single intimate relationship I've had since.If you have been sexually abused, no matter how old you were or how healed you believe you are, trust me, YOU STILL NEED TO READ THIS BOOK. It is LIFE CHANGING!

I highly recommend this book for both survivors and partner's of survivors. Wendy shares loads of information about how the abuse affects someone and why safety in relationships is vital to healing. Safety for emotions and physically will help bridge the gap where closeness is desired. She has practical steps for healing and at the end of the book, there's a list of resources for further information and help. It's helped me understand my behaviors and fears and begin to address them. I'm so glad I read this.

This is an excellent book, and 95% of it is very useful and helpful, an excellent resource. There are a few tiny sections that still need to be updated to reflect contemporary understanding of sex positivity - "Healthy sex" has to be qualified and not just assumed to be a certain type of sex (monogamous, vanilla, etc.). It's okay for people to be 'promiscuous' (the phrase is now sexually robust), watch porn, make porn, partake in BDSM, and do all kinds of fun things. None of those things is inherently harmful or 'unhealthy.' We need to explore sexual practices without judgment, and then learn about ourselves when they are hurtful because of non-connection or fun and light because of non-connection, reenacting trauma in a retraumatizing way or trauma reenacting in a reparative way, when sex is coming from a place of disgust or shame, and when it is a manifestation of lust and/or love. There's no quantifying that, no right or wrong, it's different for everyone, and when we don't make space for robustness, we're passively slut-shaming.Other than those parts - and really it's just a handful of paragraphs that that happens - this is a fantastic book.

if you are on this journey this is a great resource

I know several other reviews mention that this book has triggering personal stories, but for me, reading other people's stories has been so helpful on my journey. It helps me to see parts of myself in others, and recognize these behaviors I have developed as a result of CSA. The stories make me feel less alone and more connected to other CSA survivors. Also, the assessments and exercise suggestions have been super helpful to me.

I wanted to wait a while and make a thorough review. For starters this was a big step in the right direction buying this book. I love how the book doesn't dwell on the acts in a forthright way, but gently talks about sensitive matters. This is important for me as I have gone to counseling and felt that I was regurgitating the past to my therapist with the same apathetic expression. It just made me feel like I was their two o clock till the next which is how no one wants to feel. In no way am I advocating for no therapy but this book made me feel like I wasn't alone and I needed that. The problems in this book were spot on and I cried because I felt that the healing could finally begin. I will say that nothing beats having a good support system, so if you have family and friends this will help a lot. It was time to be honest and conquer the hurt that I was running away from. So if you decide to purchase this book, know that you will find something worth looking forward to.

I would recommend this book to anyone who has been sexually assaulted, molested or other sexual trauma. I have not been able to date a man for the past 20 years due to my past trauma. When I ran into an old friend, we wanted to start dating. The fact that I new him made me feel safer. He recommended seeing a sex therapist who deals with past traumas that keep you moving forward and trusting again. She recommended this book for me and my boyfriend. I did not read the parts where people talk about their past experiences, but those stories were great for my boyfriend to understand what I was going through. THen there is a complete section in the back that helped me to move on with my life, and be able to say "NO" to my boyfriend when I felt sexually pressured.THis book, as any other couples book, will really benefit you if your boyfriend, lover, new relationship partner reads it also. It is up to date as far as psychology goes, and has allowed me to come out of my shell and start a relationship again!