Melanie's Marvelous Measles Paperback – December 6, 2012

If you enjoyed this book, check out these other fine titles from the same author:Abby's Absolutely Abundant AbscessAddie's Adorable AdenomaAdelia's Addled Alzheimer'sAndys Amazing AIDSAnne's Incandescent AnorexiaAnnette's Astonishing AneurysmAnnie's Awesome AsthmaArnie's Artful AddictionBarack's Baroque Barbiturate OverdoseBarry's Bitchin Beri BeriBeatrice's Bawdy BronchitisBella's Beloved Bell's PalsyBennett's Breathtaking BoilBertha's Blossoming BulimiaBilly's Bodacious BotulismBobby's Bitchin Bubonic PlagueBobby's Bubbling BuboesBob's Bodacious Bone BreakBoris's Big BlisterBradley's Brilliant BradycardiaCandy's Candid CandidaCarl's Chewy CancerCarl's Cool Cauliflower EarCarol's Calm ComaCarol's Colorful ChlamydiaCarol's Copacetic ChlamydiaCarrie's Cavernous CariesCarrie's Cordial ComplicationsChristian's Crazy Creutzfeldt-Jakob SyndromeChuck's Champion ChickenpoxClarissa's Classy Klippel-Trénaunay SyndromeCole Herb's Heavenly HerpesColin's Copacetic Common ColdConnie's Conquering ConjunctivitisCyril's Crunchy CeliacDanielle's Dainty Dahlberg Borer Newcomer SyndromeDan's Dandy Dandy-Walker Malformation with Mental Retardation, Macrocephaly, Myopia, and BrachytelephalangyDaphne's delicate distentionDave's Darling DeformityDiana's Diaphanous Diaphragm DisorderDolly's Desirable DeathDominic's Domineering DementiaDorothy's Dominating DischargeDoug's Daring DengueDoug's Delightful DysenteryEdward's Excellent EczemaEllen's Elegant AlopeciaEmma's Exalted EmphysemaEphraim's Ebullient EbolaFerdinand's Fabulous Fractured FemurFlo's Favorite FluFreddie's Fantastic FibromyalgiaFred's Fabulous FractureFreya's Fabulous FaintingFreya's Far-out Farber's LipogranulomatosisGary's Gallant GangreneGary's Grand GranulomatosisGeorge's Gorgeous GonorrheaGloria's Golden GoiterGreg's Glorious GoutHank's Hearty HemophiliaHannah's Hysterical HantavirusHarlan's Harmonious H1N1Harry's Handsome HalitosisHarry's Happy HerniaHarry's Haughty HemorrhageHilary's Heavenly Hashimoto's HypothyroidismHilary's hilarious hydrocelphallic-myocarinoma!Hillary's Hilarious HIVHomer's Humdinger Homicidal IdeationIda's Inscrutable IdiopathyIggy's Infamous IschemiaImogene's Inimitable ImmunodeficiencyInga's Incredible IngrowthIrene's Incredible IchthyoallyeinotoxismIris's Irrestiable ItchIsabel's Interesting InfarctionJane's Genial Genetic AnomaliesJayoh's Jumpin' JaundiceJohnny's Jocular Jock ItchKyle's Copacetic KeratoacanthomaKyle's Crispy KeloidsLarry's Lordly LaryngitisLarry's Lovely LymphomaLeroy's Lavish LeprosyLisa's Lovely Lassa FeverLucy's Lucious LupusLuke's Lucid LeukemiaLuther's Lucky LupusMal's Mad MalariaMandie's Mega MucusManuel's Magnificent MeningitisMargie's Memorable MononucleosisMarie's Miraculous MarburgMelanie's Mellifluous MalariaMichael's Mighty MigraineMike's Magnificent MumpsMilo's Marvelous Malignant MassMolly's Malignant MelanomaNed's Neato NearsightednessNestor's Non-Stop NystagmusNudge's Numinous PneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosisOprah's Opulant Oppositional Defiant DisorderOrrin's Ornamented OrnithosisOscar's Awesome OsteoporosisPam's Panaroamic PathologyPauline's Prescient ParasitesPaul's Pumpin' PriapismPercy's Perspicacious PustulePerry's Peerless PeritonitisPerry's Precious PorphyriaPeters Perfect PolioPolly's Polychromatic PolyuriaPolly's Pretty PolypsPresley's Precious PresbyopiaPriscilla's Precocious PreeclampsiaPrunella's Practically Preventable PrionQuentin's Quiescent QuarantineRandy's Roaring RingwormRhea's Really Remarkable RheumatismRhonda's Racing RheumatismRicky's Rockin' RicketsRobbie's Rad Ass RabiesRocco's Raging RashRosie's Rotating RosaceaRuth's Radical RubellaSally's Serendipitous SarcoidosisSam's Saintly SchizophreniaSam's Smart SmallpoxSamuel's Stupendous Sleep-apneaSandra's Superb Sickle CellSandy's Salient SclerosisSandy's sensational syphilisSarah's Sentient SarcomaSarah's Serene SarcosinemiaSarah's Stunning SalmonellaScott's Scrumptious ScabiesSir Sergio's Serene CirrhosisSpencer's Splendid SprainStanley's Strapping StrongyloidiasisSusan's Superlative Supraumbilical Midabdominal Raphe and Facial Cavernous HemangiomasTarzan's Transcendant Transitional Cell CarcinomaTerence's Terrific TeratomaTerry's Tempting TineaTerry's Trippy TremorTimmy's Triumphant TumorsTipper's Tilltilating tinnitusTommy's Terrific TapewormTonya's Top-Notch TonsillitisTuco's Torrid ToxoplasmosisTyrone's Titillating TyphusTyrone's Trippindicular TrichotillomaniaVera's Varicolored VaricellaVeronica's Voluminous Vericose VeinsVivians Voluminous VaginitisWaldo's Whooping WartsWally's Wicked-Awesome WartWendy's Wonderful War WoundWhoopie's Whooping Whooping CoughWilly's Whimsical Weight GainWinnie's Wondrous Wandering SpleenXavier's Exemplary ExencephalyYolanda's Yummy Yersenia(Thank you to all who have left praise in the comments. This was a team effort of several people including me that played out over several hours on a Facebook comment thread. I've altered my original, fanciful five-star rating to the appropriate one star.)

I bought the $3 Kindle version of this atrocity just so I could quote some of the kookier passages. Believe me, the book is even worse than you might expect. Here are some short excerpts:"For most children it is a good thing to get measles," Tina's mother reassured her. "Many wise people believe measles make the body stronger and more mature for the future," she concluded. [This is accompanied by a drawing of a vibrant post-measles Tina flexing her biceps.]"Can we go and visit Melanie so I can catch her measles?" Tina asked. "That sounds like a great idea," laughed Tina's mother. [And off they go to visit happy, happy Melanie.]"I read that if your body has plenty of vitamin A, you won't get measles." [More wisdom from Tina's omniscient mother.]"Jared did get the measles. Tina was not surprised really as she knew he ate so many sweets and chips every day." [Tina's mother has uncovered the secret that's been hidden so long by Big Pharma: measles is *really* caused by sugar and carbs. I wonder if Tina's mom recommends a good session with all-natural leeches to help drain out those poisons.]The best thing about this book is the number of people who are laughing at it. With good reason.

I can only presume that the author was born after the successful vaccination programme made people complacent about the dangers of measles. I was not so lucky. In the epidemic of my childhood I was nearly blinded, and still have scars on my eyeballs. I was the lucky member of the family; my sister died from complications. Measles kills children. This book is irresponsible and misleading at best. At worst it could lead to the death of a child.Edit to add in the light of the current UK measles epidemic.It is so sad to see that the loss in herd immunity due to opinions like this have lead to the return of a disease we thought to be nearly eradicated. Since last November, 1 in 5 infants who have caught the disease as they were too young to be vaccinated, have had to be hospitalised. This is not a benign disease that we should be encouraging children to catch.

Finally! A children's book with an agenda I can get behind! I always thought I loved kids until I actually had one of my own and boy was I wrong! I researched anything and everything I could possibly do to get rid of the little brat, but I didn't want to be arrested for murder and childhood cancer is just too darn unpredictable. Fortunately, I stumbled upon "Melanie's Marvelous Measles", and learned that there is a huge community of people who hate children as much as me! Thanks to Melanie, I was able to ignore my pediatrician's recommendations to vaccinate my daughter before our trip to Disney World, all while acting like I want what is "best" for my child.

This is brilliant! It's pure inspiration! It's living proof that people who are too stupid to eat their breakfast cereal without poking their eye out with the spoon, can actually get a book published!

Don't overlook the lesser known Dr. Seuss books in this series - "Horton hears an air raid siren", "Oh the places you'll itch", "How the Grinch caught Chlamydia ", "And to Think That I Contracted It on Mulberry Street", "Skull Fracture Mayzie", "Hop on your remaining foot", " The 500 days in ICU of Bartholomew Cubbins", and "If I Ran the Mortuary".