The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude Paperback – September 1, 2009

Dr. Forni has written clearly and cogently about an inspired topic. In the great cosmopolitan metropolis I call home, rudeness is an everyday fact of life. A goodly portion of my own work as a life coach concerns helping people to learn how to deal with it effectively.Deal with rudeness badly or ineffectively and we suffer psychological and even physical stress. Deal with it well, as Forni puts it, with civility, and our self-respect, character, and relationships improve.If this is true, then you have to wonder why the psycho-professions have not flooded the world with such manuals. Why is it that the topic has only drawn the attention of sociologists and etiquette experts? The skill is surely more important than getting in touch with your inner spirituality.Rudeness aims at one's place in society. In a community like New York where the extraordinary mix of peoples and cultures makes any determination of status and standing ambiguous at best, rudeness is a way to see how we stand in relation to others on the social hierarchy. Rudeness tests who is up and who is down, who is in and who is out, who is putting on airs and who is up to the task.Ups and downs are part of the way we talk about these issues. We want to stand up for ourselves when others are trying to put us down. And Dr. Forni correctly asserts, we want to do so without making fools of ourselves, without engaging in histrionic displays, without diminishing ourselves. We need to reply to rudeness without becoming aggressive, contentious, litigious,or argumentative.When someone is rude, we do not want to slap him down; we want to offer him the opportunity to recognize his fault and to back down voluntarily.Perhaps Dr. Forni is too optimistic that civility can diminish the sting of rudeness and restore relationship harmony. I have often been accused of the same thing myself. We know that civility may not be an appropriate response to every act of rudeness, it is surely the place to start. Before trying other ways to respond we need to exhaust the resource of civility.

Looking for a way to address the seemingly "uncivil" and rude behavior today, I found this little gem that is a follow-up to Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct also by Pier Massimo Forni. Gave me a great way to view societal behavior and recognize in myself those same traits. It also armed me with ways to approach these situations whether a rude co-worker or the bird-flipping soccer mom in the mini-van with the Jesus fish. Yes, it may seem that one person doing one civil thing a day won't change the world, but realizing that your one "nice thing" may trigger others to follow suit and then it just expands exponentially. Nice, practical advice even when you really want to be rude right back (even when someone probably deserve it). Good read.

Although I didn't learn anything new from this book, it is well written and what it has to say needs to be spoken, written and widely distributed.Either this book or something similar should be compulsory reading and, perhaps have practical sessions based on it in all classrooms. Civility must be taught young.

This small book is packed with a lot of insight and some very workable solutions to modern rudeness. I have used it in group settings and individual settings to solve problem and get dialogues under way about civility. Le'ts all practice civility.

This is a great book, it gives ideas on how to handle delicate situations, that everyone may come across in there daily lives. Very helpful reminds you what's really important in your life, and to forget or walk away from all of the nonsense.

I did get the info I needed out of this book (SIR Strategy), but the examples in part 2 were a waste of time for me. I may go back and reread Part I.

I purchased this book in ebook format and began reading it right away. I'll be honest and say I've had my fair share of occurrences regarding "rude people" over time and reading this book certainly gave me insight into someone else's opinion on how to handle such situations. I'll be honest and say, the author's stand point was interesting however quite harsh and rough in manner. Although the responses given to each situation could work, I found them to be more of a hindrance to smooth over an issue with another person. Yes, sometimes not "beating around the bush" with rude people is best...I find being rude in manner back doesn't work and shows one still capable of stooping to a poor mannered person's level instead of moving above and beyond.I found the topic regarding one's child interrupting a parent and their friends conversation rather ill put. I am a person that would never put a child or spouse before another person no matter what the conversation entailed. That in itself shows ill manners and of low breeding.I would not recommend this book to another.

Our world is becoming so uncivil. This is a great book for everyone and has many great ideas for teaching children (and adults) how to behave and how to act when confronted with incivility.

This book was a great and helpful book. It is complementary to his first book, Choosing Civility. It is really hard to know how to respond or how to act in certain situations. PM Forni really provides practical and real suggestions. It is not an aloof ettiquette book but really a behaviour book for those who have forgotten how to be civil. Great purchase! I hope more people will take notice of it!

Concise, and yet practisable advice on how to handle uncivil situations and people. This is a welcome addition to a growing number of resources that seek to address the widespread lack of civility in today's world. Lots of things to think about.

I have read other things by the same author. I like what he has to say but I found this book less interesting and less helpful than some of his other books. Did learn some new things. Unfortunately, the people who really need the information in this book are unlikely to read it,

I bought this book to add to my corporate etiquette training. Unfortunately, I found the information to be pretty basic and really just common sense.