You Can’t Say You Can’t Play

I read this book over 20 years ago as required reading for a class and it impacted me then. Because of some events in classrooms I decided to read it again and it is just as relevant today.

With all the craziness going on these days, this takes the judgement out of a classroom and allows for acceptance and friendships with kids (and adults) to get along and thrive. A blue print for creating a safe space

I thought You Can't Say You Can't Play was an eyeopener. I am an elementary school teacher and hear the words often. This book gave a detailed account on how the children feel that are speakers of these words and hearers of these words. I never gave it much thought until reading this book. My response has, in the past been, find a new friend. I never considered how deeply these words cut the children that were hearing them. This "you can't play" phenomenon is affecting students in kindergarten through 5th grade. It was interesting to hear how the students at various ages responded to Paley's new rule. Prior to reading the story I expected to walk away with more research based ideas on how to handle this in the classroom. However, the book was Paley's students journey of establishing the rule you can't say you can't play. Sprinkled throughout the book was Paley's Magpie stories (fictional stories that she made up and shared with her student). These little stories tossed in caused the story not to flow as nicely as it could have. I think the story would have been much easier to read without them. Overall, I think it's an insightful story for elementary school teachers. It certainly has me thinking more about the course of action to take when students say these words to others.

Brilliant work in inclusion in schools. Stop bullying before it starts. Many have built upon this key work, but it was great to read the original! Such an important work, can't stress that enough. School is NOT home, it is NOT OK to exclude other kids. When we teach kids another way, the positive effects just ripple through all of their social interactions.

This book was purchased as a required textbook for a class I was taking in college. It really is a good book for introducing an anti-bias program into a classroom. It asks good questions, and it will work in a preschool classroom as well as the higher grades. It show how to gradually introduce a new program into a curriculum. It talks about accepting diversity and differences. We are all unique and valued. How to stop rejection in the classroom through storytelling and discussion in a gentle and positive manner.I would highly recommend this book to teachers and parents.

I used this book decades ago to guide me in establishing a positive classroom climate for my young students. I bought it this time for my daughter who's a child and family counselor. She loves it and is also sharing it with her daughter's kindergarten teacher.

I really want to be a teacher in the future and i already teach/tutor at various places and this book is really helpful! i learned a lot about how children think and how we can solve problems by using stories. i haven't finished the book yet... this book takes a long time to read and think about, but it's a really great book. stories within stories within stories :)

This book is well written and easy to read. The issue of helping the child who is excluded by other children is handle well with careful thought to how making changes effects all children in a classroom. Great reading for adults who parent or work with children.

After reading 'Widening the circle' by Mara Sapon-Shiven, I found myself searching for other stories and texts written by inclusive practitioners, which led to the purchase of this book. After receiving it today I arrived home from work and began reading it. An unusual narrative to begin with, intertwined with a story about a Magpie, I was unsure at first. However, I continue and like Alice, fell deeper down the rabbit hole. Finally, I came out the other end with a smile on my face and a deeper perspective on inclusive play in early years, particularly in regards to excluding others from play, and the effect that this can have. Although I am unsure about the wording of the rule 'you can't say, you can't play', the concept is an important one that merits thought. A good read!

Just what I needed for uni

Although I found the intermittent stories about the magpie come what distracting and irritating, I eventually came to see the way Paley was using storytelling as a model for problem solving and making deeper connections. A must-read for teachers who do not want students to feel excluded or unliked.

Although a bit long-winded at times (could've been a significantly shorter book), the book contains excellent ideas that we will be implementing in our elementary school next year. The anecdotes and self-reflection of the author are insightful and useful. Highly recommend to all elementary educators.

very well written and very interesting. I really like how she combines her stories with her new concept of you can't say you can't play. A perfect method to get children to begin life on an inclusive path.