---
product_id: 107306018
title: "How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives"
brand: "zachary auburn"
price: "A$8"
currency: AUD
in_stock: true
reviews_count: 13
url: https://www.desertcart.com.au/products/107306018-how-to-talk-to-your-cat-about-gun-safety-abstinence
store_origin: AU
region: Australia
---

# How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

**Brand:** zachary auburn
**Price:** A$8
**Availability:** ✅ In Stock

## Quick Answers

- **What is this?** How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives by zachary auburn
- **How much does it cost?** A$8 with free shipping
- **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship
- **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.com.au](https://www.desertcart.com.au/products/107306018-how-to-talk-to-your-cat-about-gun-safety-abstinence)

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- zachary auburn enthusiasts

## Why This Product

- Trusted zachary auburn brand quality
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## Description

Full description not available

## Images

![How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/510T5gAK9kL.jpg)

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 







  
  
    This Book Saved My Cat’s Ninth Life
  

*by M***S on Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2018*

Let me just start by extending my utmost gratitude and appreciation to the author of this book. For years I watched in horror as my cat made decision after reckless decision, wasting eight of his precious God given lives. A tale as old as time...His first life was lost to marijuana poisoning. Second and third, sacrificial satanic rituals gone awry. Fourth life lost after a pistol misfire during a wild western style dual with the neighbor’s cat...(and don’t even get me started on the neighbor’s cat!) In his fifth life he hussled too hard. That one is particularly difficult for me to talk about without triggering a series of violent emotional fits, my apologies. During his sixth life he dabbled purr-fusely as an esteemed purr-fessional gigalo, falling victim to a wicked transmitted disease (Looking at you, neighbor’s cat!!!), the likes of which modern medicine has yet to find a cure. Much to my dismay, both his seventh AND eighth lives were spent smuggling weapons (and catnip) across the Canadian border. My cat, an arms dealer? And smuggling the “purr-p nip” illegals?! I’d just about had it, friends. One day shortly after he’d entered his ninth life, I noticed he’d checked out a book on Satanism from our local library. I’d also witnessed him making soft eyes at the neighbor’s cat. "NOT AGAIN" I thought, “NOT THIS TIME AROUND.” Fearful of what would happen if I didn’t intervene, I began to research diligently for any applicable preventative guidance that might be available to the public. I was determined to secure the purity and safety of my dear cat during his final curtain call in this malicious world! By chance, I stumbled upon this glorious and assistive owners guide. It has more than just your average, run of the mill tips and tricks. It provided my wounded heart and weary spirit with a roadmap to facilitating positive change. In it I found a fresh perspective and countless renewed approaches for talking openly with my cat, sans hesitation. We discussed the errs of recklessness with calculated purr-pose. Sure, we were both hesitant at first... cautious, slightly flustered and embarrassed. Despite the temporary social discomfort this book paved way for opportunity in developing an unfiltered bond of trust between the two of us. We collaborated. We discussed our feelings and experiences. We enlightened each other with the gift of perspective from our own personal lens. My cat now lives each day to the absolute fullest. He helps out around the house, folds laundry, and even makes dinner one night a week. He studied and invested in the stock market, finding a decent amount of success therein. He hasn’t stolen my car or any petty cash from my purse to this date and has yet to watch a single R rated film, insisting he has no desire to ever do so (the only exception being the Wolf of Wall Street). As an additional bonus he managed to convert the neighbor’s cat to Christianity, both of them swearing scout’s honor to a life of respectable celibacy! He also practices mindfulness, meditation and gratitude in hopes to one day land among the monks. Friends, I can now proudly declare that my cat has turned over many a new leaf! He is a positive and astute influence for all, a jovial saint, a blessing with fur—and it’s all thanks to this book! If you can relate in any way to the troubles and tribulations outlined in this review and are for some reason still on the fence about purchasing this book, allow me put your indecision to bed. You will not regret this investment in the slightest. Even if you don’t personally own a cat but know someone that does, buy it. It’s worth every penny to secure this credible, top-drawer reference guide! Educate yourself and everyone you know for the greater good. Don’t wait for your cat to lose another of their nine lives, buy today! Knowledge is power and safety is key, click “buy it now” and grateful you’ll be.All the stars!

### ⭐ 







  
  
    BUYER BEWARE!!!!  ***READ THE REVIEWS BEFORE BUYING****
  

*by C***T on Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2018*

I was so excited about this book (it read and looked to be hilarious) and disgusted when I received it. I bought several planning to give away as gifts. . . so glad I took the time to read some of it before gifting.  Could have been a disaster!  Full of hateful alt-right propaganda and fundamentalist type religious beliefs.  I am a firm believer of protecting our 1st Amendment rights, but disguising this level of hatefulness under the pretense of humor is not appreciated.  If I could rate this zero stars, I would.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 







  
  
    Depends on the cat
  

*by M***E on Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2017*

One cat loved it, the other thought it was very boring. See pictures.

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*Product available on Desertcart Australia*
*Store origin: AU*
*Last updated: 2026-02-21*